To preface this, I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 8 months now, and I truly do love him. He is extremely sweet and although we have had rough patches in the past, we are always able to move past them. I don’t want to give up on our relationship. We have been intimate for, I’d say like 5 months. We were both virgins going into this relationship, so both of us were extremely inexperienced (although he was always more pushy to have sex). This probably explains why he’s never made me orgasm (I guess he just doesn’t know how to?) and doesn’t really engage in foreplay. He has fingered me before, but he enjoys sex way more and doesn’t finger me if we’re having sex. We’ve never gone down on each other. For the last few weeks, I could tell that he was considering it, but he never actually did it. I was, admittedly, self conscious and scared. When he tried today, he did 2 licks, came up, and said, “I’m never doing that again unless you ask me to”. He then proceeded to get up and ask for water, use napkins to dab his tongue, inspected his tongue in the mirror, and, finally, when he got back in bed with me, he asked me what I had ate for dinner yesterday night. I told him what I had ate, and then he told me that I “should’ve had pineapple instead”. Idk, I kind of just shut down after that and he went on his phone and i cried (he didn’t notice). He noticed that I was acting weird and asked me why I wasn’t talking/mad at him, but I just felt so embarrassed and dirty that I just didn’t tell him. I just felt like an overwhelming wave of sadness take over me because he was that repulsed. I don’t think that I’m necessarily unhygienic. Ofc, genitals have a smell, but from what I know, they’re supposed to. I shower every single day and wash down there with water in the shower. I wear cotton undies, I drink plenty of water, and there wasn’t an excessive amount of discharge today. What does a normal, healthy smell? I don’t shave, but that’s because my skin down there is super sensitive and I’d rather save myself the itching and redness that comes after. What can I do to assuage my sadness? How do I approach this situation with my boyfriend?
TLDR; boyfriend went down on me for the first time and told me I smell, and now I feel extremely embarrassed and ashamed.
EDIT: Woah guys, tysm for the input and support! I just logged on after 8 hrs and I’m truly so grateful and overwhelmed by the amount of warmth this community has given. I’m trying my best to sift through these comments and not miss a single one. I will definitely sit him down later and have a talk with him. For a little bit of context, I had literally just woken up in the morning and I definitely was not sweaty. None of us showered beforehand, but I showered the night before. My boyfriend isn’t disrespectful to women at all—he lives in a household of women and although I have heard him tolerate others’ misogynistic jokes, it’s more because he is extremely non-confrontational and doesn’t think it’s worth it to get into an altercation.
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