The way to tell my (33f) companion (35m) that I want to have the child adopted

Apologies for virtually any bad spacing, on a mobile.

I' ve composed and rewritten this several times, hopefully it' s obvious and to the point.

I am 33f and my companion 35m, we have 3 amazing children from 10 in order to 4. We' ve already been together nearly 14 many years

I found out two years ago I was pregnant and we both agreed it was something which we couldn' t perform for various reasons so I ended the pregnancy.

I was a SAHM meant for 8 years, getting back into work when our youngest started nursery, loved getting back. Finally felt like i was a person again, not just a mother. We both decided after I ended the pregnancy that I ought to get my tubes linked, and I was on a wait around list.

In Aug I discovered I was pregnant. We used 2 types of contraceptive but it happened anyway. We discussed ending the being pregnant again and he was, regarding lack of better word, unkind. Said that after I murdered our own last child he' m hoped I' d associated with grown a heart. That he was able to forgive me for what I did last time, but didn' t know what he' d do if I achieved it again.

I' meters currently 24 weeks pregnant, but I don' t want this baby. I really like my children, I love my partner, I love our life. But I spent such a long time being just " a mum", I can' capital t go back to it.

I had a phone call 2 days back from the hospital to discuss a scheduled appointment for sterilisation, but certainly couldn' t. So I' m back on the wait around list for who knows how long.

I tried to discuss ownership with him, but he or she refuses. Says I' m not allowed to give his infant away, that I' ve done it before and so i can do it again. I asked if he would take some time off and be a SAHD but he said number When I kept trying to talk to him, he just required himself to bed and has refused to talk about it since.

I' ve spoken in order to his sister, (SIL), who has had previous reproductive problems and she is more than happy to take the baby on from birth, but I don' t know how to talk to the partner about it.

Its OUR baby, and he is really a really amazing dad, I actually can' t just say " this is happening"

Any help would be valued. Thank you

UPDATE: I' meters going to go to bed now since it is late, so I won' to be replying anymore. Thanks to your comments, you' ve all given me a lot to think about.

I will check the condoms when my partner is at work and then talk to your pet in the evening. I think therapy is essential for us both, at minimum.

Thank you all once again