My longtime partner of 5 years invited (without my permission) his friend who he recently developed a relationship with through church to live with us in our home, 2 months ago. Initially I was upset because my partner had been telling me about his new “friend” when he was first getting to know him at church (I don’t go to church) and I found out that he was convicted of “minor” sexual assault charges 8 years ago. I didn’t think much of it until 2 months ago when I came home from work and I nearly called the police out of sheer panic because his “friend” (who I had no idea what he looked like at the time) was alone in our house, because my partner had apparently invited him to live! with us and my partner left him alone in our house while he went to go buy additional groceries/living supplies for him to be more comfortable.
Long story short I managed to forgive him for all of this after we had multiple conversations in private about why he did this. However, I made him accept a condition of mine, being that if his “friend” ever started to disrupt our lives that he would have to move out. Well, his friend has been doing exactly that.
I could give over 20 examples of what my partner’s “friend” has done to disrupt our (mainly mine my partner doesn’t seem bothered) lives, but yesterday was the breaking point for me. I was in the shower and his friend walked into the bathroom without knocking and took a piss in the toilet despite the fact that we have 4 F*CKING BATHROOMS IN OUR HOUSE, and it took me literally screaming at the top of my lungs at him for my partner to hear and come into the bathroom and get his “friend” to leave. I expected my partner to be furious since his “friend” was violating my privacy so egregiously, but he dismissed it when I got out of the shower by saying “he obviously had to go” which I can’t even begin to comprehend it’s just so incredibly stupid and not at all an excuse.
Anyway, I’m currently crying as I write this because I don’t know what to do. It’s my partner’s house so ultimately he gets to decide who can live here, but I have lived with him for 3 years and been his partner for 5, so I’m just so incredibly confused as to why he seems to no longer value my opinion or my life that has been turned upside down by his “friend”.
What actions do I need to take immediately?
submitted by /u/ThrowRA-disruption
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