So, about a month ago, my best friend, who I’ve known for almost 10 years now, started planning a bday celebration for his girlfriend. He talked about it non stop and told me that it’s a really important day for him, and that he would appreciate it if I could come. She (his gf) doesn’t have that many friends and he wants her to get close to his friends, including me. I told him that I definitely would be there. Even after that, nearly every time we would talk he would ask if I was still coming.
Cut to a week ago, and my gf told me that her sister is having a going away celebration on the same day and time. I told her that I already promised my friend that I would go to his event, and that I didn’t want to go back on a promise unless it was an emergency or an event that was directly for her. She told me that she would feel hurt and mad if I didn’t show up, and this had led to a week full of arguments.
I see why she would be disappointed that I can’t come, but I don’t think it’s fair to hold expect me to drop a promise when it was a promise I made to a friend on a day very important to him (that I’ve been telling my girlfriend about for over a month now). Both events are in a few weeks, and it seems last minute to cancel now. I also barely see my friends (like every other month). On the other hand, my gf’s whole family is going to be there, and this would be the first time I meet a lot of them in this 18 month relationship. What do I do here?
Edit: should have mentioned this at first. Her sister’s event is also religious, and is set for a certain time. Her family is strict when it comes to their religion (a religion I’m not a part of) so leaving early or getting there late might not be a great look tbh.
Edit 2: also realized how the “going away party” comes off a little weird.So my gf comes from a Muslim family. Her sister is going away to college and they are having a type of ceremony at a mosque before she leaves
Edit 3: last thing. I never said the exact words “I promise” to my friend. However, I did tell him several times that “I would definitely be there”. To me, that’s essentially promising I would be there. Also, I have met some of my gf’s family before (parents, one sibling). The rest of them don’t know much about me, or don’t know about me at all, as I think my gf is scared they won’t approve due to religious differences. Which I get, but at the same time it does feel a little unfair, that the one day I promised my friend something, I have to go to meet her family who mostly don’t know about me/ haven’t met me even though we all live in the same city throughout this almost 18 month relationship
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