So over the past year my wife and I have been exploring more sexually. We’ve been doing things like public sex, anal, shit like that.
She broached the subject of swinging and I was initially a bit hesitant. I was unsure how my wife would feel about me being with other women, and I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about her being with other men. She respected my boundary and said “well what if you had sex with a guy?”
I had never thought about doing something like that before, and didn’t really consider myself to swing that way at all. She told me to think of it like it’s “performative” and like I’m putting on a show for her.
I considered it and fooled around live with some gay porn. After a few weeks she brought it up again and I agreed to try it.
I reached out to a friend of hers named Eric that she picked out and asked him out for drinks. We go out and get super drunk, and I flirt hard.
Things work out eventually and we go back to his place.
I’ll be honest, Eric really knew how to perform. I was over there for a few hours and we fucked like we were in college again. Part of it was the taboo nature of things, but also it was just naked being with someone other than my wife. I think the alcohol helped too.
I explained to Eric afterwards what the situation was and he laughed in relief that he wasn’t playing the role of homewrecker.
My wife was super into it at first. Are sex life was really great for like a month there. But soon after she went on my phone and saw I had been watching gay porn. I’ll admit, I was kind of reliving the situation with Eric a bit. But who hasn’t done that. Also he and I had some minor correspondence in the time since, and this made her get super jealous.
I could tell it was bothering her and she just told me that it made her a little more insecure than she anticipated. That she thought maybe she couldn’t get me off like her friend could. I explained to her that I love her only and that I only wanted to have sex with him to please her. She understands but I can tell she’s still bothered.
Are there any people with background on what I should do, or advice moving forward?
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