My wife (33F) and I (34M) have been married for 3 years. On multiple occasions, I have observed that my wife applies a different moral standards to me compared to her family. While she is vocal about pointing out things I should or shouldn't do, she tends to remain silent when her family engages in similar behavior.
For instance, during a recent grocery shopping trip, I didn't push the cart back into the cart return because we were in a hurry, it was naked outside and we had ice cream in the car. Although I understand that it was the right thing to do and admittedly it would have only taken me a few seconds, in that moment I just wanted to get home quickly. My wife expressed her disapproval, took the car keys, and insisted that I return the cart before we could leave. I gave in and pushed the cart back.
A few days later, while shopping at the mall with my wife's sister and husband, the same situation occurred, but this time it was her sister who didn't push the cart back. Strangely, my wife didn't say anything to her sister about it.
This pattern of behavior has become evident on multiple occasions, and it bothers me that my wife appears to apply double standards, treating me differently from her family. When I brought up my concerns with her, she responded by emphasizing that she is married to me, not her sister, implying that her sister's actions are not relevant to our relationship because I'm the one she has to be with 24/7. However, I tried to convey that it's not just about her sister specifically but rather about her willingness to set distinct expectations for me compared to her family. Despite my attempts to explain this, she remained adamant, continually repeating that she is married to me, not her sister. Is it ok that my wife holds me to different standards than she does her family? What are some ways (words I should use) to tell my wife that I don't like how she sets double standards for me?
submitted by /u/midgecridge
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