My (28m) boyfriend just asked me (28f) how many men I have slept with. Litteraly just now in this moment. He is out having a smoke and a beer because I guess me saying I don't want to tell him stresses him out.
I have been with multiple partners. And I know that my boyfriend has only been with a handful of partners and I believe a 1 nighter.
My number of Boyfriends and hookups exceed his by far. Honestly I've never been ashamed of it, until now. I have told him all about the boyfriends, and a few FWB that hung around for a while longer than hookups.
I feel like he is measuring how much he loves me right now. If I tell him I am scared that our relationship will be over. We have had a awesome relationship thus far going on 2yrs in October. This topic never came up before and anytime I told him about certain boyfriends in my past he told me it makes him uncomfortable and angry. I know he is jealous and hurt by my past actions especially with the men who I was with ( was in a very hurtful relationship before) ( I have also smoked a lot of weed and drank a lot in the past) I am now a very different and stronger person because of my past. I have started a new life for myself and worked very hard for everything I accomplished. I am happy and feel like my boyfriend is "the one".
I have no idea what to do right now. I get being transparent and telling your partner everything but he said a few things that make me feel uneasy about the direction of our future. He said: " the more I get to know you the more I…" ( litteraly just left me hanging) and "I feel disgusted by you, and your choices" (as if those choice were made by me now)
Should I give him a number? How should I tell him?
Update
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I just told him a rough number and he left. He kept being very presistant and I asked him " how would this help our relationship? Is this going to make you love less or are you going to be satisfied with what I tell you? He kept asking and asking and asking, the same thing "how many? How many HOW MANY!" I told him a fucking ballpark number to shut him up now he's gone. Without saying anything.
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I can't stop crying.
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Everyone asking me how many people I have been with or are making up number please stop. You are not helping.
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To the really nice people in my dms giving me real and actual advice I really thank you from the bottom of my heart. And too any comments. I can't believe this at all and how big this has blown up its crazy. TL;TR
Boyfriend wants me to tell him how many people I have slept with. He is very disappointed and disgusted with me. I have not told him anything as of yet.
Please help.
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