My (23m) boyfriend asked me (18f) to go to the park with him today to walk around and hang out. I didn’t think anything of it and agreed, he also said he had sm important to talk about. So we make our way to the park take a seat on a bench and then he tells me that he had been experiencing some discomfort while peeing and wanted to get tested.
Recently we had unprotected sx for the first time, and he wanted to know if there was anyone else that I’ve had sx with before unprotected.
I said no and he was the first guy, which is true. I told him I’ve never had this problem before and it new to me. I asked him questions about how he felt and why he would think I’d give him anything std or Sti related, and he just said that he just didn’t feel right down there.
I suggested to him that since it was our first time having unprotected sx maybe our PHs were messed up from the experience. He seemed convinced that maybe I didn’t know how to clean myself or something. He started to give me ‘tips’ on cleansing that’s common knowledge at least for me, and said I should eat better and take the same herbs he does for ph. Which is understandable but he held a tone of like ‘your inexperienced let me teach you’ which isn’t the case.
I have perfect hygiene, but my ph balance is easily affected. Even I had some discomfort after the night we were unprotected, which has never happened before, but I just thought it was the nair I had used previously that had irritated the skin down there that has been bothering me since days prior, and didn’t think anything of it.
He said that couldn’t be it and I probably gave him a bacterial infection, and then things were very awkward for a while, and he seemed mad that I was stressed and upset over the topic and couldn’t enjoy the rest of our date. He said that since I’m stressed about it so much it must mean there’s something I’m not telling him or I just don’t keep track of my smxual partner’s history , which I do, and I’ve always asked if my partners have been tested. Personally I just get stressed easily and if there is an issue it would be news to me.
I booked a planned parenthood appointment for next week to see what’s going on, but I genuinely don’t think that they’ll find anything. I have had a a bit of irritation but that was because I used nair in the wrong place and definitely for too long, but that healed before we did anything tg. I’m a bit offended by what he’s said, but it his right to get tested ofc. But he was so demeaning about it and acted like I didn’t know anything.
I expressed to him that how he acted hurts my feelings but then he went on to say I was overreacting. Has anyone else gone through this?
***he has no other symptoms except having to push harder to pee/ no pain, itching, no rash
***disclaimer: maybe I didn’t word this correctly. I have had smx with other people before, but I’ve always used protection and they had been tested before anything. My current boyfriend is the only guy I’ve slept with unprotected (without condms) but he said that he gets tested every three months.
***im not mad at my bf for getting tested, I’m mostly just disappointed that he immediately put the blame on me. I felt as if he thought I had the problem without much probable cause
****i alr have an appointment to get tested and will update you all next week
TLDR: My (23m) boyfriend thinks I gave him an sti or std after having unprotected smx for the first time. He immediately blamed me without getting testing done and was really insensitive, and now I’m mad and upset of him for being so sure that I have a ‘problem’.
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