My wife stopped drinking about a year ago, now she's 5 months pregnant and she questions me about my drinking.
Basically, my wife has had a pretty destructive relationship with alcohol since she started drinking(around the time that she was 18). To start this off, my wife is an incredible women who I have nothing but respect for. We're married and I adore her, she's the most beatiful person I know, intelligent, emotionally available and she has integrity. But when we met, she used to drink. And when she got drunk enough, she would get emotionally unavailable, she would lash out at me. It would lead to her lashing out againt herself and telling me that i didn't love her etc… Afterwards, she would feel enourmous guilt and concidered to stop drinking. Two years ago she stopped and it's been great. She's 32, I am 26, we are married and we have a kid on the way. We both long for the kid and it's something we've been looking forward to.
Although I didn't stop drinking. My grandparents were "light" alcoholics and alcohol has been prevelant in my family since I was a teen. I don't get angry, paranoid, voilent or harmful in any way when I drink. I dont drink often. But when I do drink, I do like to get drunk.
And that's where our problem lies. She stopped drinking, because A), she's pregnant, and B) she can't control herself when she gets "too drunk".
Eventually we came up with a system. She tells me when i am too drunk and that i have to stop. This started off as a great idea and I stopped drinking whenever she said that i "had one too many". But now she's starting to cut me off after 2 or three glasses of wine. And she's staring to barrate be about my drinking habits. I can get "too drunk", but still have my act together and I can still control myself. I don't lash out at anyone. I can of course get remorse from drinking too much, but not to the extent that it damages my relationships. I don't feel as if my drinking has deteriorated in any way since we first met, it mostly feels as if she is looking for ways to cut my drinking habits. And i get that alcohol isn't good for your body, so in the end she's just trying to protect me from a harmful substance. But the way she does it just makes it feels as if she's trying to put blame on me for acting like a "normal" human being who consumes alcohol.
Throw-away account because subject.
What are your opinions regarding our situation?
submitted by /u/Special-Town-7769
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