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Date: November 16, 2022
AmateurPub
I work so there are many things ahead of texting that are on my mind. Guys who have the time to text all day are usually lazy in my experience. I am never glued to my phone and even If I love people I don't usually text first. because I would rather call on the phone. Also I am more like here is a daily brief of my day at the end vs stream of thought.
This is the problem with many women you want us to take the time to understand you but you don't want to take the time to understand the Men you want. If you want a go getter future provider. He isn't the guy that will glued to his phone outside of business purposes.
Give him a stone cold stunner into the pool
It’s totally valid to want your SO to work. Ambition is sexy. Is he still the man you fell in love with in other ways? Because it’s totally reasonable to leave him over this IMO.
He likes you and is jealous of the fact that you're in a relationship with 2 guys
Facts. If they're going to go down this path, then I better hope the AP's spouse is also hearing about it.
Your post lacks a question. As per Rule 2, all posts must feature a question that you want specifically answering. We don't host, rants, vents, letters to other people, poetry, journal entries, hypotheticals or 'what would you do' posts, or reflections on past experiences to give other people lessons.
We are here for you to ask specific relationship issue with a current relationship you have right now, in this moment.
Lots of happy couples keep separate beds. Due to my husband and my very different sleep preferences and schedules we'd be much crankier and unhappy with each other if we had to share.
But we also make time and make sure to keep up intimacy. The lack of sex here is the evidence of a problem, not sleeping apart.
I'm glad someone finally addressed this part. Everyone's saying “break up” like OP didn't say she's been trying to but he keeps deflecting. Like I definitely see how her mom's house is awful and the relationship has issues on both sides but it really showed the boyfriend was using her by the fact he leaves all the chores to her AND won't let her break up with him cuz his new place isn't ready yet.
Also really interesting how there was not enough money when they both needed a place but he magically had the money to get himself a place immediately when he needed a place. Makes me wonder if he stuck around all this time for free room and food while he saved up
On the bright side, moments like these really show if your relationship can last for the long run. They say if your relationship can't survive very hot times it's not going to survive “till death do us apart”
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Good response. Instead of obsessing over a poorly phrased sentence like everyone else, you've actually provided some comforting and reasonable advice.
Your girlfriend is a monster, I would reconsider the relationship.
You may not have gotten pregnant, but I will be first to congratulate you on your baby boy.
Oh for heaven sake. Doctors do this stuff all the time esp. surgeons (Grey's Anatomy). They sleep around. It's like a sport to them. You'll mess up your life, and he'll forget about you as soon as he gets what he wants. STOP IT!
That's a chemical and dangerous.
Tell him one more time and you are leaving, then follow through.
You could try counseling but I feel this is so rude I'd make it the hill to die on.
My ex worked at a nursing home for a while, and he was just horrified by the experience. He said it was emotionally taxing and physically demanding. As the only man, anytime a patient needed to be moved, he had to it, and sometimes they would get belligerent. He of course helped with bathroom duties, and again, while he was happy to be able to help people, it was hard for him to see the state many patients were in. Never in my life would I have interpreted anything he shared with me as sexual. He was doing his job. That’s it. Had I reacted like OP’s girlfriend, I’m pretty sure my ex would’ve cut our time short and not spoken to me for a while, completely unsure of what to even say to me.
I dont want to break up with him, I do love him, but I also dont want to be in a relationship with no sex
You can't have both, you know that.
You are looking for some magic answer and there is none. Go peek into the deadbeadrooms sub to see how bitter and fucked up putting up with this will turn. That will be you.
The guy told you he doesn't want sex and will just put up with it if you really want him to now n then. That is not a relationship to stay in, that's horrible. Please know you can just end this and be happy with someone else. You should want and seek better than this.
Sorry I dint mean to call your sister a loser. I thought you meant the ex boyfriend.
I think you might have had a shot if it had happened organically. Maybe not the lap sitting, but possibly crying on her shoulder or having your head in her lap. Unfortunately, that's not the type of thing you can tell most women in words and have them accept it.
I'd go back to my point about making them feel safe – it's like you're waving a big flag in their face saying “I'm on the edge of breaking down crying” and sending them SOS signals to rescue you. I think you deserve the comfort you desire, in the way that you desire it. But to get what you want, you're going to want to work on your approach.
I get it, really I do, but from my experience there are a lot of emotions going on for the parents.
“I just don't get why she acts like this sometimes”
Because she's only 19 years old and not experienced enough in relationships to navigate marriage. This is why teenagers shouldn't get married.
As someone who’s been assaulted it pisses me off so much when people lie about it to cover up cheating. And they only do it because they know a real victim would avoid the topic at all costs too.
Here's my thing, once you justify a friend doing something. Then stay friends, you are condoning what they have done. This is true for the following: Cheating Abuse Rape Racism Anti-lgbtq+ Sexism Drugs Etc
It isn't nuanced. Ever. Was the person in a relationship that both parties believed to be exclusive? Did the person engage in sex outside that relationship? If yes to both, CHEATER. Just because you don't like it doesn't make it false.
You do know that every single feeling we have is driven by our hormones right? I mean, sorry if you didn't pay attention in biology but it's a fact.
You…might want to research pregnancy in birds.
If you are just going to search for excuses to delay the inevitable then you will never find the right person. Finding the right person takes effort, not settling with excuses.
Now you are going down the road of unhappiness trying to push of discontent.
You don't want to stay in so much but no money? Then you both work more and/or do more with less. Go hiking, biking, use the bus, trails, etc.
Staying home doesn't have to equal putting on weight. So what's the plan? You keeping it or you finding more excuses for your lack of ambition?
Is the weight making it worse? Maybe. But its your acceptance of inertia that's doing it.
If you want to move and she doesn't then you aren't compatible. It's that simple. Staying because you wish you were isn't going to help.
Breaking up won't ruin her. It will upset her because breakups are sad but necessary. It's the end, no one wants the end. You aren't responsible for her mental health. If you need to do that then you didn't help her at all and she's not ready to date.
You are stealing her time from someone that wants the things she enjoys. Some other guy may love her lifestyle. And you are missing your adventure girl.
You become hostage rather than choosing the relationship. That never works.
You wish it was working. You know deep down you are a Master of excuses. It works until you are more unhappy than the excuses can justify.
You are both in your early 20's. Unlimited options, stop wasting time.
You are both adults. Sit him down and ask him why he doesn't like you.
Thank you very much for your kind words
He essentially lied and tricked you into marrying him. I’d leave if I were you but whatever you do be smart about it.
I’d be looking for another job since your manager isn’t managing and you can’t do your job properly.
Write a letter.
That's absolutely horrible I am so sorry and heartbroken for you.
If one wants focused judgment, come to Reddit. If you want open conversation there are probably other chances. I’ve known my share of folks who are gay and I’ve known ones whose families have issues. All I am saying all you people who know so much more than I is that over the course of decades people change. Some do. Not all. When you don’t get along sometimes the right approach is to just step away and let time pass Vs doing something which can eliminate any chance of any reconciliation.
But hey. Just my observation based on a lot of years of living. Do I personally care if you reconcile with your folks. Or OP with his. Of course not. I don’t know you. He made a post here and that invites comment. I offered my optimism. Time to move along to other things.
Sex, personally, is about intimacy, yes, but it also has health benefits for me, too. This is something that is literally a quality of life issue for me, less migraines, more energy, better mood, all things that can be the physical benefit of having sex regularly. It’s physical exertion, after all, too, so all of that is important to me to have in a relationship because it is both intimate and also physically positive for me.
She has a passcode and I do know it, I know she doesn’t have her notifs on for messenger or Facebook. Doesn’t have Snapchat and her notifs for txts are on and she has blocked a lot of people from like her past or exes/ past people she’s had sex with