78 thoughts on “Ayumilove online sex cams for YOU!”
I'm sure you're very hurt and going through so much right now…but if he's been doing those things not only is it a red flag but a valid reason to leave him. I know that after 3 years that might be fine, but a relationship based on lies is not a relationship at all. Im really sorry, but you need to seriously consider dropping him.
Why? Because she TOLD you what her grandmother said. That was just mean. She knows it. The only reason to tell you this is to make you feel bad about yourself.
Honestly it sounds like she makes her husband because she knows he's not like her fault. Which could be good, but instead she's taken on her family's bullying role.
Her expectations that he drop his plans for some potential thing seems unreasonable. His claim that she should just say they aren't available is reasonable. But she comes from a family of unreasonable people, apparently, and had unknowingly become unreasonable herself
First off, a lot of us have made bad choices, so don't hold that against yourself. I know that it means the same as lukewarm water in your situation, but please, don't beat yourself up over it.
At this point, you need to make decisions. AKA the real ones. The adult ones. You know what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry that your hormones drove you into this situation. I've found myself in predicaments because of them myself.
How do I stop feeling guilty about her being potentially homeless as she ended her tenancy and other things that’s going on in her life, for example the death of her father recently.
Dude if your contemplating leaving the relationship is done. I made the mistake and stay for a long time after o started to contemplate it and it only gets worse over time. Best to end things and move on.
According to her she was very lonely and when the guy told her about his lifestyle she thought it would help her with lonliness
And if you have to spend time apart again? Will she be… Lonely?
And yes she was physically attracted to him too and thats why she let herself cross boundaries of friendship
So she did cross a boundary, interesting… And you're ok with this? The story until now is that nothing happened.
When I said no she knew she had to drop him as a friend too and thats why she got angry at me and called me possessive and jealous.
This makes absolutely no sense. She “knew” she had to drop him as a friend so she got angry at and abused / gaslit you? What kind of backward logic is that.
It was then the guy suggested to her to let him talk with me
Yeah i'll bet.
Honestly, something doesn't sit right with me on the whole thing and my BS sense is tinging, but at the end of the day you want to make it work so good luck. Hopefully you don't turn up with an STI or something.
Let me just get straight to the point… This man is literally telling you that the woman that he cheated on you with is more important to him than you and your relationship.
There is nothing left here to save. It's time to cut ties and move on.
The truth is that you breaking up with her left a void in her life. It doesn’t matter if you were still there for her. You broke up with her.
People with BPD have an extreme fear of abandonment. They have this odd dichotomy of pushing people away out of fear of people leaving them. They also are incredibly reliant on attention and often take their value from attention. In her words, “male validation.”
You have every right to be hurt. But I’m just explaining to you, that she probably did it out of desperation and loneliness and the crippling fear of being left alone with no one to love them (a common fear of people with BPD).
You said it yourself, she takes an emotional toll on you that isn’t good for you. You did the right thing by breaking up with her. I’m sorry to say that she will always try to reel you back in (and then push you away again by doing stuff like this), if you stay friends with her. Sadly, what is best for you, and her, is to just leave. And not give her the hope you will get back together.
Her fear of abandonment might feel like it’s coming true, but that isn’t your responsibility. You said it yourself, you can’t handle being in a relationship with her. It’s too much. Do yourself a favor, and move on. In the long run, she will be grateful she didn’t have false hope
If you’re old enough to have sex you’re old enough to ask the other person to test for an STD. And the number of people you’ve slept with ≠ having an STD if you were doing so with protection. So, yeah, just ask your partner to be tested before you have sex.
just because her family did them growing up does not remove the religious undertones of them. If anything I am on board with him because framing them as family traditions is just getting the kids more emotionally attached to them and getting them indirectly attached to the faith in which they came from. They can still do certain things but you just know she's going to go in depth and explain the religious aspect of them because the context of it matters.
Thank you for your kind words. I sent her a letter. No response. I’m losing hope. I can’t believe how quickly this turned. She tells me she loves me and wants to spend her life with me, 24 hours later she cuts me out of her life completely. Your advice is great and appreciated, but sadly it looks like I won’t get to use it.
That’s not how that works. If she gets a green card she can work and live on her own. It only takes a few months or year to get approved for a green card. It just takes forever to be able to become an actual citizen.
a woman who took me for granted and saw me as her walking ATM. I was so deep in the hole that the only reason it ended is because she cheated on me.
Did you tell your current GF this? I think if you explained why you don't seem to “treat” her to things is because of this past thing, she'd be more understanding… and understand that it's not that you loved her more (and thus treated her to those various things), but that she was a manipulative exploitative GF.
As for whether she's showing you her true colours… I'd say I'd take it as a hint it's very possible she'd link materialism with love. If you otherwise think she's really great, I'd maybe give her some more time (after you've explained your ex situation, and see if you see some other signs she is gonna be high maintenance/golddigger-y/materialistic… and if the signs are there, and she's still upset about the differences in how you treat her/your ex… It's prob time to consider leaving.
Sounds like you two are just not sexually compatible. Relationships need that in order to survive. It's probably time you broke up with him and found someone more your own speed, sexually.
Don’t be. 7 years is a bummer. But it could’ve been 8, or 10 or even 15. The important thing is to stop making a mistake just because you’ve spent a long time making it. Every further second your in the relationship deprives you of time to heal, and then to go forth and find someone who’s gonna treat you as their priority, as it should be in a relationship!
It’s disrespectful to ask your boyfriend‘s girlfriend to clean your house when she visits or to suggest a woman’s only value are her skills as a maid and a cook. Read the post. She is 20. She isn’t his bride.
Get a grip of yourself. She’ll see you as a cash cow. Otherwise what would a 23 year old see in a 35 year old married guy with a child. You’re being an idiot. Nothing like this ever ends well and your child will grow to hate you for cheating on their mother. Jesus, what is wrong with you.
so I tried to lighten the mood by playfully messing with his hair and telling him he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed.
It's a nice thought but not great execution as he was already probably feeling quite rubbish about it and a hair ruffle is only going to make him feel worse. You're coming from a good place but there is going to be some bruised ego there.
I think clearing the air isn't a bad idea, you can just explain where your head was at, that the laughter was nervous etc… He may well want to take the “I don't want to talk about it, let's just forget that happened” approach.
He could well be feeling really paranoid now as well depending on how active his sex life was previously “was it one bad night, what if it happens again?” etc… so no doubt he's not in the best headspace about it. Could be performance anxiety or body consciousness, even tiredness, alcohol, other life stresses and distractions etc…
Yes I think maybe we have to have the boundary chat. If he wants to be a drunk flirt then he has to do that single. If he wants to be engaged to someone then he has to act like it. And to ensure that is the case, he has said he will completely minimise alcohol and go back to the counsellor we previously saw.
No those grievances has been discussed so many times. It is fight or flight. She is trying to deflect. This is things that happened years ago and has been discussed and sorted even. I missed a bill that went to collection and I payed it. It was a mistake and really when we talk about me wanting more intimacy we could stay on that subject and not trying to tarnish me. I mean I could talk about bills being missed of course. But it’s not like we’ve missed a bill the last couple of years so maybe talk about the matter at hand?
My grandmother told me that after she had my dad, she decided she needed to get a job because now they had two kids and my uncle needed new shoes. My grandfather tried to pull the “no wife of mine is going to work” deal. She just went out and got a job the very next morning because apparently, that's how it worked back then. She says he threw a fit, but shortly got over it.
You aren’t gonna get a week to do something by yourself while in a long term relationship. That’s just reality. If my bf went MIA once every few weeks to be away from me I wouldn’t want to be in that relationship.
I don't know whether he's an actual therapist or not, but isn't there something in their code of ethics that states they can not be a therapist to their own family members and/or friends? I don't see how they could be emotionally distant and objective if they're treating their own friends or family member. Not to mention, they can use everything you say as ammo against you in a fight. And if he can't see that, he's definitely not therapist material.
Do you have your own funds? Or are you financially dependent on him for everything? Because if you've got your own money, you don't need his approval to go to a therapist. You don't even need his permission.
Man, for fuck’s sake, leave this poor woman. You cheated on her twice, she’s probably wondering why you could manage to fuck your affair partners but have pErFoRmAnCe iSsUeS with her.
Yeah, you’re missing the mind-blowingness because that comes from having great sex with a partner who cares about you and has a connection with you. She’s seeking that out with you by wanting a ton of sex, but you’ve obviously ruined the relationship by cheating on her, then coming back to have shitty sex with her then whining about not being able to satisfy her.
Please leave her so she can find someone who cares about her.
yeah, It's normal to feel uneasy if your partner doesn't disclose information about past relationships, but it's also important to communicate with your partner and have an open and honest conversation about it. You can express your concerns and ask for clarification on why she didn't mention it earlier, and also communicate your expectations for transparency in your relationship.
It's important to find a solution that works for both of you and builds trust. 🙂 good luck xox
I hope these people don't watch the extreme violence in mma without pulling out the fainting couch first. They could fall on their head and die immediately apparently.
That's more like it. Are you in therapy? The way that you wrote this, moment of weakness or not, implies that you still lack the in-the-moment self-awareness to be trusted to be a responsible partner. You need to be able to consider the impacts of your actions past and present, and the perspectives of others on equal footing with your own perspective. In live time. The way you wrote this and posted it, looking for confirmation, hiding from the truth, makes me think you are not actively practicing these things. Also, sometimes kinkshaming is okay. Sounds like you were into some extremely disrespectful and dangerous stuff. Gross. Don't consider yourself good at sex just because you like weird shit. If you hurt your partner to the extent that it seems you have, it straight up means you're bad at sex. Not a good look so do better.
Look into reading the book Why Good People Do Bad Things by James Hollis
Nope. It’s not necessarily like that. Some topic are sensitive for some people. For example people around me have been told by my medical team to avoid talking about weight gain/weight loss around me when I was younger.
Example: I’ve suffered from anorexia, I recovered, I’ve gained weight. I’ve fallen into bulimia. I recovered. I lost the weight. Pandemic. I gained a bit of weight (still healthy bmi). I started crossfit. I lost the weight. My partner knows better than to tell me “your face is round”. Because he knows that for me it’s a trigger. I know that I’m kinda of an extreme example. But yeah, I’m sure I’m not the only one.
(I’ve now recovered, I have a better relation with food and I’m “healthy”. But still commenting my body is a big no no)
You are getting voted down because love bombing is a manipulation tactic by narcissistic abusers. By claiming you are a love bomber you are also telling others you are abusive and manipulating. Please look up the difference between love bombing vs. sincere showering with love and affection or gifts during the honeymoon stage of a relationship.
he does still have the app based on the notifications, but if hes telling the truth about the notification contents, ive gotten those before due to inactivity. it sends you an annoying amount of “youve got likes!/someone super liked you!/log in before your account is hidden!” notifs. uninstalled today bc it was annoying me
No, it doesn't. He's bullshitting you straight to your face. Android (which a google pixel is) doesn't send notifications for apps that aren't installed and, well, Tinder sure af isn't a preinstalled piece of bloatware sotware. He's using the app and lying directly to your face about it. He's bombarded with them bc he's a suss af bastard
Does he need some improvement himself? He sounds horrid and fatphobically controlling. I would make sure he got therapy before having a child with this type of attitude.
Ask to have your child’s paternity tested. When she complains just say “what else could I think when you are fine with another man being called daddy by our son.”
Next tell her no matter the outcome, there will be NO man allowed in the home without you being there. When she complains about that just say “so you are telling me you are at least having an emotional affair and possibly a physical one, if your relationship with him is more important than ours, we’re done.” And mean it.
Question, is your sister's bf specifically invited to those events or is there a possibility that your sister asks your parents beforehand if she can bring her bf? Because those would be two very different scenarios.
I’m sorry OP but this should have been nipped in the bud a long time ago. I understand not having your bf attend occasionally but your family seems to be actively excluding him. For no apparent reason. And while this obviously bothers you, the bottom line is you are letting them. And frankly, that’s the part I don’t get. You have been with this man for 15 years, you say he really makes an effort with your family, but you’re letting them exclude him because you want to be polite ?! Really?
How do you think your partner feels every time you walk out that door and leave him behind? Especially now with your sister’s bf of barely a year being included. We often say to those posting on Reddit that they have a wife / husband / significant other problem. Well, in this situation, YOUR partner has a gf problem, not the other way around.
I know you don’t want to hurt your family’s feelings but why is it okay for them to hurt your partner’s? Why is it that after all these years you didn’t manage to resolve this with your family? It’s not that hard. Tell them every invitation from them moving forward will automatically assume invite for your partner as well. Because it’s insulting that they’re including a newbie bf but not your long-term partner. Time stand up for father of your children, frankly something you should have done ages ago imo.
Thank you! That’s what I want to do eventually! I was just in my head stressing about finding a justice of the peace and a location and all that. After some thought we’re gonna do it even simpler and just elope.
It's pretty normal in a long term relationship to be able to freely touch your partner. Both of their feelings are valid. I personally couldn't imagine being in a relationship where I couldn't touch my husband freely or he couldn't touch me freely. I love and consent to my husband sexually touching me at any time. I always welcome his touch.
Neither person is in the ” wrong” here. Her feelings are valid. So are his.
You have so many years ahead of you to find an actually reliable partner, but your response to cheating is instead just to try again with your cheater and maybe get a threesome out of it? This will end poorly, and I don't think anyone will have sympathy with such profoundly stupid choices.
I'm sure you're very hurt and going through so much right now…but if he's been doing those things not only is it a red flag but a valid reason to leave him. I know that after 3 years that might be fine, but a relationship based on lies is not a relationship at all. Im really sorry, but you need to seriously consider dropping him.
Good luck, we are over here hoping it all works out!
I'll get thr court to approve it. I dont think it'll be hard proving that it's in his best interest
But why???
You break up with her!
Why? Because she TOLD you what her grandmother said. That was just mean. She knows it. The only reason to tell you this is to make you feel bad about yourself.
You're right to be mad and if he's trying to crazy make you he's not worth it.
Life gets so much easier when you don't date losers.
Honestly it sounds like she makes her husband because she knows he's not like her fault. Which could be good, but instead she's taken on her family's bullying role.
Her expectations that he drop his plans for some potential thing seems unreasonable. His claim that she should just say they aren't available is reasonable. But she comes from a family of unreasonable people, apparently, and had unknowingly become unreasonable herself
THIS IS A BOT ACCOUNT!
Tagging u/R_Amods
First off, a lot of us have made bad choices, so don't hold that against yourself. I know that it means the same as lukewarm water in your situation, but please, don't beat yourself up over it.
At this point, you need to make decisions. AKA the real ones. The adult ones. You know what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry that your hormones drove you into this situation. I've found myself in predicaments because of them myself.
How do I stop feeling guilty about her being potentially homeless as she ended her tenancy and other things that’s going on in her life, for example the death of her father recently.
I did not…
Dude if your contemplating leaving the relationship is done. I made the mistake and stay for a long time after o started to contemplate it and it only gets worse over time. Best to end things and move on.
According to her she was very lonely and when the guy told her about his lifestyle she thought it would help her with lonliness
And if you have to spend time apart again? Will she be… Lonely?
And yes she was physically attracted to him too and thats why she let herself cross boundaries of friendship
So she did cross a boundary, interesting… And you're ok with this? The story until now is that nothing happened.
When I said no she knew she had to drop him as a friend too and thats why she got angry at me and called me possessive and jealous.
This makes absolutely no sense. She “knew” she had to drop him as a friend so she got angry at and abused / gaslit you? What kind of backward logic is that.
It was then the guy suggested to her to let him talk with me
Yeah i'll bet.
Honestly, something doesn't sit right with me on the whole thing and my BS sense is tinging, but at the end of the day you want to make it work so good luck. Hopefully you don't turn up with an STI or something.
Exactly! Like if you don’t take this to Wattpad lmao ?
Let me just get straight to the point… This man is literally telling you that the woman that he cheated on you with is more important to him than you and your relationship.
There is nothing left here to save. It's time to cut ties and move on.
The truth is that you breaking up with her left a void in her life. It doesn’t matter if you were still there for her. You broke up with her.
People with BPD have an extreme fear of abandonment. They have this odd dichotomy of pushing people away out of fear of people leaving them. They also are incredibly reliant on attention and often take their value from attention. In her words, “male validation.”
You have every right to be hurt. But I’m just explaining to you, that she probably did it out of desperation and loneliness and the crippling fear of being left alone with no one to love them (a common fear of people with BPD).
You said it yourself, she takes an emotional toll on you that isn’t good for you. You did the right thing by breaking up with her. I’m sorry to say that she will always try to reel you back in (and then push you away again by doing stuff like this), if you stay friends with her. Sadly, what is best for you, and her, is to just leave. And not give her the hope you will get back together.
Her fear of abandonment might feel like it’s coming true, but that isn’t your responsibility. You said it yourself, you can’t handle being in a relationship with her. It’s too much. Do yourself a favor, and move on. In the long run, she will be grateful she didn’t have false hope
See OPs history someone summarized above. Your instincts were correct.
If you’re old enough to have sex you’re old enough to ask the other person to test for an STD. And the number of people you’ve slept with ≠ having an STD if you were doing so with protection. So, yeah, just ask your partner to be tested before you have sex.
just because her family did them growing up does not remove the religious undertones of them. If anything I am on board with him because framing them as family traditions is just getting the kids more emotionally attached to them and getting them indirectly attached to the faith in which they came from. They can still do certain things but you just know she's going to go in depth and explain the religious aspect of them because the context of it matters.
Thank you for your kind words. I sent her a letter. No response. I’m losing hope. I can’t believe how quickly this turned. She tells me she loves me and wants to spend her life with me, 24 hours later she cuts me out of her life completely. Your advice is great and appreciated, but sadly it looks like I won’t get to use it.
That’s not how that works. If she gets a green card she can work and live on her own. It only takes a few months or year to get approved for a green card. It just takes forever to be able to become an actual citizen.
Yepp so just talk to her about it and fully express yourself about how you worried you feel
Is this a plot of a new anime?
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a woman who took me for granted and saw me as her walking ATM. I was so deep in the hole that the only reason it ended is because she cheated on me.
Did you tell your current GF this? I think if you explained why you don't seem to “treat” her to things is because of this past thing, she'd be more understanding… and understand that it's not that you loved her more (and thus treated her to those various things), but that she was a manipulative exploitative GF.
As for whether she's showing you her true colours… I'd say I'd take it as a hint it's very possible she'd link materialism with love. If you otherwise think she's really great, I'd maybe give her some more time (after you've explained your ex situation, and see if you see some other signs she is gonna be high maintenance/golddigger-y/materialistic… and if the signs are there, and she's still upset about the differences in how you treat her/your ex… It's prob time to consider leaving.
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Sounds like you two are just not sexually compatible. Relationships need that in order to survive. It's probably time you broke up with him and found someone more your own speed, sexually.
Don’t be. 7 years is a bummer. But it could’ve been 8, or 10 or even 15. The important thing is to stop making a mistake just because you’ve spent a long time making it. Every further second your in the relationship deprives you of time to heal, and then to go forth and find someone who’s gonna treat you as their priority, as it should be in a relationship!
It’s disrespectful to ask your boyfriend‘s girlfriend to clean your house when she visits or to suggest a woman’s only value are her skills as a maid and a cook. Read the post. She is 20. She isn’t his bride.
Get a grip of yourself. She’ll see you as a cash cow. Otherwise what would a 23 year old see in a 35 year old married guy with a child. You’re being an idiot. Nothing like this ever ends well and your child will grow to hate you for cheating on their mother. Jesus, what is wrong with you.
Tell her she needs to step out of HER comfort zone and come to your party.
I like to be a hold on to hope kind of person…
so I tried to lighten the mood by playfully messing with his hair and telling him he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed.
It's a nice thought but not great execution as he was already probably feeling quite rubbish about it and a hair ruffle is only going to make him feel worse. You're coming from a good place but there is going to be some bruised ego there.
I think clearing the air isn't a bad idea, you can just explain where your head was at, that the laughter was nervous etc… He may well want to take the “I don't want to talk about it, let's just forget that happened” approach.
He could well be feeling really paranoid now as well depending on how active his sex life was previously “was it one bad night, what if it happens again?” etc… so no doubt he's not in the best headspace about it. Could be performance anxiety or body consciousness, even tiredness, alcohol, other life stresses and distractions etc…
Congratulations on 6 years! That’s exciting!!!
Kate needs to tone the wokeness down.
Yes I think maybe we have to have the boundary chat. If he wants to be a drunk flirt then he has to do that single. If he wants to be engaged to someone then he has to act like it. And to ensure that is the case, he has said he will completely minimise alcohol and go back to the counsellor we previously saw.
No those grievances has been discussed so many times. It is fight or flight. She is trying to deflect. This is things that happened years ago and has been discussed and sorted even. I missed a bill that went to collection and I payed it. It was a mistake and really when we talk about me wanting more intimacy we could stay on that subject and not trying to tarnish me. I mean I could talk about bills being missed of course. But it’s not like we’ve missed a bill the last couple of years so maybe talk about the matter at hand?
Take the dog with you, get an apartment near a dog park, get a heavy duty lock. You’ll be fine, and probably thrive
My grandmother told me that after she had my dad, she decided she needed to get a job because now they had two kids and my uncle needed new shoes. My grandfather tried to pull the “no wife of mine is going to work” deal. She just went out and got a job the very next morning because apparently, that's how it worked back then. She says he threw a fit, but shortly got over it.
You aren’t gonna get a week to do something by yourself while in a long term relationship. That’s just reality. If my bf went MIA once every few weeks to be away from me I wouldn’t want to be in that relationship.
I asked questions
Can you get an abortion and move on?
make the decision yourself, now your husband may support but in the future his attitude may change, you may get divorced etc.
I doubt the sanity of the husband who told the attacked person that this child is a blessing
I don't know whether he's an actual therapist or not, but isn't there something in their code of ethics that states they can not be a therapist to their own family members and/or friends? I don't see how they could be emotionally distant and objective if they're treating their own friends or family member. Not to mention, they can use everything you say as ammo against you in a fight. And if he can't see that, he's definitely not therapist material.
Do you have your own funds? Or are you financially dependent on him for everything? Because if you've got your own money, you don't need his approval to go to a therapist. You don't even need his permission.
Man, for fuck’s sake, leave this poor woman. You cheated on her twice, she’s probably wondering why you could manage to fuck your affair partners but have pErFoRmAnCe iSsUeS with her.
Yeah, you’re missing the mind-blowingness because that comes from having great sex with a partner who cares about you and has a connection with you. She’s seeking that out with you by wanting a ton of sex, but you’ve obviously ruined the relationship by cheating on her, then coming back to have shitty sex with her then whining about not being able to satisfy her.
Please leave her so she can find someone who cares about her.
yeah, It's normal to feel uneasy if your partner doesn't disclose information about past relationships, but it's also important to communicate with your partner and have an open and honest conversation about it. You can express your concerns and ask for clarification on why she didn't mention it earlier, and also communicate your expectations for transparency in your relationship.
It's important to find a solution that works for both of you and builds trust. 🙂 good luck xox
Such a horrible thing to say to the person you're married to.
Your husband is having an affair
The concept is an absolute. If you think that violence is ever a solution to a problem then you are not a pacifist. It's really as simple as that.
🙂
🙂
You dictated who she could and couldn't talk to?! You “told” her to block him and “let” her have a short conversation?!
You're a monster. Please let this poor woman go free from your tyrannical, domineering idea of being in a relationship.
I hope these people don't watch the extreme violence in mma without pulling out the fainting couch first. They could fall on their head and die immediately apparently.
thats a possibility, but then who is the guy on the photo with MOH…
For me it makes no sense to take a selfie with someone's BF and post it into FB party group, why would that be significant memory…
That's more like it. Are you in therapy? The way that you wrote this, moment of weakness or not, implies that you still lack the in-the-moment self-awareness to be trusted to be a responsible partner. You need to be able to consider the impacts of your actions past and present, and the perspectives of others on equal footing with your own perspective. In live time. The way you wrote this and posted it, looking for confirmation, hiding from the truth, makes me think you are not actively practicing these things. Also, sometimes kinkshaming is okay. Sounds like you were into some extremely disrespectful and dangerous stuff. Gross. Don't consider yourself good at sex just because you like weird shit. If you hurt your partner to the extent that it seems you have, it straight up means you're bad at sex. Not a good look so do better.
Look into reading the book Why Good People Do Bad Things by James Hollis
You are acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Nope. It’s not necessarily like that. Some topic are sensitive for some people. For example people around me have been told by my medical team to avoid talking about weight gain/weight loss around me when I was younger.
Example: I’ve suffered from anorexia, I recovered, I’ve gained weight. I’ve fallen into bulimia. I recovered. I lost the weight. Pandemic. I gained a bit of weight (still healthy bmi). I started crossfit. I lost the weight. My partner knows better than to tell me “your face is round”. Because he knows that for me it’s a trigger. I know that I’m kinda of an extreme example. But yeah, I’m sure I’m not the only one.
(I’ve now recovered, I have a better relation with food and I’m “healthy”. But still commenting my body is a big no no)
You are getting voted down because love bombing is a manipulation tactic by narcissistic abusers. By claiming you are a love bomber you are also telling others you are abusive and manipulating. Please look up the difference between love bombing vs. sincere showering with love and affection or gifts during the honeymoon stage of a relationship.
Just my experience man, never knew a senior dating a freshman that wasn’t creepy. Been sayin so since I was a freshman myself.
he does still have the app based on the notifications, but if hes telling the truth about the notification contents, ive gotten those before due to inactivity. it sends you an annoying amount of “youve got likes!/someone super liked you!/log in before your account is hidden!” notifs. uninstalled today bc it was annoying me
Your husband raped your sister, and you're mad at your sister?
No, it doesn't. He's bullshitting you straight to your face. Android (which a google pixel is) doesn't send notifications for apps that aren't installed and, well, Tinder sure af isn't a preinstalled piece of bloatware sotware. He's using the app and lying directly to your face about it. He's bombarded with them bc he's a suss af bastard
I'm literally unemployed due to the severity of my (bipolar) depression. I understand what it is.
Mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse.
Imagine caring about a birthday party past 18. And then imagine being upset that other people don't give a shit about birthdays ?
Does he need some improvement himself? He sounds horrid and fatphobically controlling. I would make sure he got therapy before having a child with this type of attitude.
Ask to have your child’s paternity tested. When she complains just say “what else could I think when you are fine with another man being called daddy by our son.”
Next tell her no matter the outcome, there will be NO man allowed in the home without you being there. When she complains about that just say “so you are telling me you are at least having an emotional affair and possibly a physical one, if your relationship with him is more important than ours, we’re done.” And mean it.
Weirdest shit I've ever heard. Ew.
I wish i could just forget about all this
Question, is your sister's bf specifically invited to those events or is there a possibility that your sister asks your parents beforehand if she can bring her bf? Because those would be two very different scenarios.
I’m sorry OP but this should have been nipped in the bud a long time ago. I understand not having your bf attend occasionally but your family seems to be actively excluding him. For no apparent reason. And while this obviously bothers you, the bottom line is you are letting them. And frankly, that’s the part I don’t get. You have been with this man for 15 years, you say he really makes an effort with your family, but you’re letting them exclude him because you want to be polite ?! Really?
How do you think your partner feels every time you walk out that door and leave him behind? Especially now with your sister’s bf of barely a year being included. We often say to those posting on Reddit that they have a wife / husband / significant other problem. Well, in this situation, YOUR partner has a gf problem, not the other way around.
I know you don’t want to hurt your family’s feelings but why is it okay for them to hurt your partner’s? Why is it that after all these years you didn’t manage to resolve this with your family? It’s not that hard. Tell them every invitation from them moving forward will automatically assume invite for your partner as well. Because it’s insulting that they’re including a newbie bf but not your long-term partner. Time stand up for father of your children, frankly something you should have done ages ago imo.
Do you want to date a jealous chick? No? Probably a good time to break up with her.
Me and bb have sex everyday. We're above the average couple in this sense.
Break up with her and start moving on
Thank you for your thoughtful and kind advice 🙂
Thank you! That’s what I want to do eventually! I was just in my head stressing about finding a justice of the peace and a location and all that. After some thought we’re gonna do it even simpler and just elope.
Sorry man. She is just a bad person.
It's pretty normal in a long term relationship to be able to freely touch your partner. Both of their feelings are valid. I personally couldn't imagine being in a relationship where I couldn't touch my husband freely or he couldn't touch me freely. I love and consent to my husband sexually touching me at any time. I always welcome his touch.
Neither person is in the ” wrong” here. Her feelings are valid. So are his.
PRagraphs
You have so many years ahead of you to find an actually reliable partner, but your response to cheating is instead just to try again with your cheater and maybe get a threesome out of it? This will end poorly, and I don't think anyone will have sympathy with such profoundly stupid choices.