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Date: October 10, 2022
No It’s not, but that’s not the point here. She just quit her job without communicating or figuring out if it even works. I told my husband I wouldn’t work past 8 mos. He said I wouldn’t be working by that point. She’s not “flexing” that she worked every day. She’s saying if she could do it, his girlfriend can do it.
I was explaining I see your point some, and explaining and also not trying to be as rude as in my initial post. I apologize I’m not a rude person and hardly comment like that, so when I do and after I feel bad the few times it’s happened so I know I’m wordy and write a novel but I was explaining everything but I also didn’t mean to be super rude and I apologize for that. An educational direct message to exchange view points is welcome, but I won’t keep take cheap shots I apologize we’re all entitled to our opinion otherwise it wouldn’t be freedom. I apologize I took it to that level and was very rude
I remember a while ago hearing about rules vs boundaries
Rules are what you impose on the other person. Boundaries are what you yourself will not do.
People often times find it difficult to follow rules, especially when it deals with their own bodies.
Maybe its about perspective
Thin condoms.
You showed up at almost double the weight of when you “met”. He came all the way from the US to Paris, not a cheap thing for a 24 year old, to find you were double the size he expected. Whether you straight up lied to him or you are so volatile that you can double your weight without even noticing is a major red flag.
It's time to let him go and work on yourself.
You build an entire life with someone you love and vowed to stay with through thick and thin, and the moment their knees buckle your first thought is to pack and run? You’re pathetic
Can you see this continuing for the next 10 years?
How's she managing her illness?
Yeah that’s what i would do
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The reason he feels not good enough is because you make him feel not good enough.
You’re not with him because you appreciate him for who he is, you’re with him because you don’t want to be alone. The qualities you don’t like someone else will love & appreciate.
Break up with kindness & compassion & let him be with someone who loves all of him just the way he is.
That’s the part that confused me as well, I thought it was fairly common to change bed sheets once a week. So if you’re super sensitive then I’d be expecting twice a week maybe, not longer than average.
You could try saving up like others do when they want to change their situation.
I will be adding a screenshot of his text with a coworker to my page in case people want to see
Yeah, that could definitely help, but make sure to not try to pressure him into it especially since he's already expressed a disinterest in it, and don't try to pressure yourself into anything either. If he doesn't want something like that/is hesitant, then it probably IS best if you two separate because not wanting the same kind of relationship structure isn't something either of you should stick with
You and him know the relationship is finished you just need to verbalise it to each other. He said very hurtful things to you and treated you very poorly so be careful with how you handle the relationship is over conversation with him as his displayed bad attitude toward you already. Any questions you want to ask him write down so you don't forget. Up to you if it's in person or a video call etc.. Reach out to family/friends for support. See a psychologist or your GP if you are struggling with what happened.
so i should just let everyone do it to me? and never stand up for myself
What you feel is that Essentially he is not ‘getting you’. This is one of your biggest values and biggest priorities – to have your partner not understand…. I dunno it’s more than frustrating. I also dated someone like this. I’m still unsure about the damage it caused me
Not all men are like this. The men in my life would never behave like this or associate themselves with people who behave this way.
Not all men are like this. The men in my life would never behave like this or associate themselves with people who behave this way.
So, he's never shown any signs.
Sometimes, that intuition is just anxiety. You being SCARED, and you picking up on signs, are two very different things.
In stead of asking to see his phone “maturely”. The second you do that, he'll feel like you're accusing him. you need to look inside of you, and see what's making you anxious. You also need to do the actual mature thing, and have a real talk with your BF. Talk about your fears, without the accusing undertone. aknowledge that “intuition” without actual SIGNS is just anxiety. Be real with yourself, and him. And THEN you can build up a safety towards eachother together.
If you want a mature relationship, do the mature thing.
I spent many years stuck with someone like this
Kids kept me tied there both emotionally and financially
When I was finally able to end things without leaving myself destitute, the exact words I heard were
“Yeh, I knew I was just using you, I told you what you wanted to hear so I got what I wanted”
It only confirmed what my gut always knew, reading your post tells me your gut is doing the same
If you think/feel you're with a leech, you most likely are
You have zero holding you around, kids and marriage will be your prison if you're mad enough to carry on
Have you considered moving closer to your brother? He sounds like better family than your husband. Honestly asking twice about the money would be two too many times! Wtaf? But especially after you told him to stop bringing it up. And I’m getting the feeling that your brother could help with lawyer fees and down payment on a house if you need financial assistance.
They are 50 bucks a pop in my state & they are almost always sold out (harsh abortion laws in a red state).
I’m the type of woman if a guy I’m dating says i can’t do something I’m going to go do it anyway. That sounds controlling as hell. If people were meant to be controlled they would come with remotes.
I’m sorry but I feel you at being a caregiver, but if what you’re really bitching about is “having” to do the recycling and being jealous of bikers, you’ve lost me. That sounds like some shallow whiny ass bullshit.
Aren’t you already in your. 30’s? It goes fast. I don’t know anyone in their 40’s who is not starting to adjust their activity because getting older sucks. I mean, maybe you have 50 more healthy years left tootin around on your fancy roller blades, but don’t kid yourself.
Absolutely. Send them to your wife!!
I get that if he does park dates with you all the time and freaks out when you want to go to a restaurant for once, money is probably really tight for him (no wonder, for a PhD student). But if he doesn’t communicate that and reacts like he did, blaming you, calling you sensitive etc., he is just not mature enough to be in a relationship right now.
Please pay VERY close attention to your girlfriend right now because she's waving ??? in your face.
First, nobody should ask questions they don't want honest answers to. Flat out. Full stop. Period. It sounds like she wanted you to lie to her.
Second, she's creating drama out of nothing. Truly nothing. She's asking you to go back in time and change life's circumstances. Why? For what reason is this? If my BFF (a guy) was single at the same time was 10 years ago before either of us were married or dating someone, we still wouldn't have gotten together. Maybe if he was John Cusack, then that's a different story, but who cares? It's 10 years later and the world is different.
Third, this is a small glimpse into her true character. She is willing to create a story in her head and believe it as fact. She doesn't really care what you have to say because, according to her logic, you are bringing romantic feelings for someone else and that fact that you say you don't is a lie. She's gaslighting you.
You're only a year into this relationship. Really consider if you wanna deal with this another 3, 5, 10 or 20 years.
If your friend is doing and saying sexual things that make you uncomfortable, you need to tell her to stop. If she doesn’t stop, she isn’t your friend and you need to break off the friendship.
Which makes me wonder, why are you sharing a room? Does she think you are sharing to have privacy with her? She might think she has permission to be sexual with you because of the shared room.
I would ask her to stop with the sexy stuff around you, and also stop sharing the room with her. If you have to share the room and can’t move/change rooms, then you have to make it VERY clear that you are not interested sexually, and that her sexy acting out around you is uncool.
You married him under false pretences.. He knew it was a deal breaker for you, so he proposed a way he could gas light you into forgiving him.
Honestly, he will cheat on you again. I'd leave the relationship the second I knew the truth, it's a deal breaker for me too.