0 views
CUM [467 tokens remaining]
Date: November 18, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
CUM [467 tokens remaining]
Sounds like fwb wants a serious relationship. Time to decide if you want it too or not. If not, be open and honest when you break up.
Nothing former about it. “recovering” addicts or “former” addicts or whatever don't STILL USE. He's not a former addict 3 days a week!
This has ruined the relationship
No, ypur behaviour tuined the relationship. Relationships are about give and take, not about one person getting everything they want. Thats called being selfish.
I’ve been there a lot. I know how that waiting for the call after he’s home makes your anxiety. I don’t have any suggestions myself, just that I deal with this too and it’s extremely hard, and I can relate,
That’s not my definition of a relationship. She needs to pass.
Absolutely it is. Men do not need sex to survive. Anything he “needs” can be done with his own hand.
You need to look up sexual coersion. You are going to learn a lot about how your boyfriend has been abusing you.
I can honestly say, I couldn’t care less. I would just be happy if you’re happy
He is early mid-20s? Yeah. Guys are still pervert at that age. Doesn't really level out till atleast 25 or older.
facepalm
Not only is that not true for a lot of people (many do need to shower regularly to smell good, I am one of them)—
Nobody wants to do things like have oral with someone where you end up inches away from a multi-day unwashed taint/ass.
Depression is hard but it sounds like OP has genuinely different (and in this case, lower) hygiene standards from his girlfriend, first and foremost.
OP, obviously the answer is if you want to keep the relationship going and work on things with her, you shower more. People with higher hygiene standards generally aren’t going to flex down to lower standards/less frequent washing, and it’s true that washing less often means higher bacterial loads that can lead to skin infections or mess with vaginal flora— a lot for some people, which is not worth a relationship IMHO.
Even a 5-minute rinse of the essential smelly bits is better than nothing, and even with depression that’s generally compatible in a daily routine. You can buy yourself nice loofas or scrubs or lotions if that helps incentivize you— spend the extra $15/mo heating the bathroom if you hate being cold, etc.
Also, depression aside, unironically if you like your personal hygiene standards, maybe try to date somebody who shares them. Things like grooming and body smell and odors are super personal and different for everyone.
For example, my partner never stinks. Ever. I’ve smelled pit on him two times in as many years, and he’s not the only no-stink person I’ve dated. I do not relate. I get pit-musk within an hour of the shower. I actually don’t mind my own light pit smell but am always gonna wear deodorant around humans because I am not trying to make anyone else find out how they feel about it.
Also, some people genuinely like stinky, pitty bodies and sex. I briefly dated a guy who loved to sniff my armpits in bed and asked me to skimp on deodorant. To each their own, but not everyone is compatible. Also, keeping it all-too-real, some people have good-stink and some people have bad-stink and who thinks what is good is definitely gonna vary, so why put anyone through it nonconsensually??
And, generally, most people will lose attraction if being hot means smelling unwashed salty sweat and poorly cleaned genitals.
OP, there is something to be said for the relief of knowing you can get hot and/or get down any way, any time with your SO and are never gonna faint from a foul odor. Your girlfriend is probably not going to give up that security so consider whether showering daily is truly a dealbreaker for you.
Hello /u/Awkward_Vegetable_66,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I think we all know the real reason the kids don’t want to spend time with their dad, and it has nothing to do with your cookies. Your husband sounds like an abusive AH, and has no problem taking out his anger on you when you’ve done nothing but try to help.
I read this and immediately thought she has it hard for the other guy OP. She is waiting for him to be dumped. The joke is on her, I suspect this guy is stringing her along. But I digress,….
If she cared, you would know it and feel secure.
Don’t be someone’s anchor all the damn time.
Well you should have said in your post that you don't want to continue having a relationship with your dad then. Because you can't possibly be dumb enough to think that you can go around ignoring your future MIL and still have a good relationship with daddy.
Not enough people are talking about the part where she leaves the room and comes back completely hard?? LOL! I am dying cuz I just don’t think that happens in real life. Do you know how insanely confident a woman you have to be to pull some shit like this? You either have to A.) have no fear of rejection whatsoever (highly unlikely) B.) know for a fact that the person you’re with is dtf. C.) feel that your body is so insanely hot that no one can resist it, which I guess some women feel this way but I don’t know a lot of them irl. I just want to say I think that part of the story is either entirely made up, or she did it cuz she knew he was down. No one leaves a room and comes back entirely hot if they think there’s a chance they could get turned down. Also I’m convinced that no one even does this outside of movies/tv.
Personally, you shouldn't vacate.
She's the one who having extramarital affairs. She wants to swing her affair as leverage. You need to do the same.
She gets her place, or she can explain to her parents why she wants to deny her kids their father. You need to look at her and see that the woman you married is gone.
Just like you aren't the same as you were in college, she has changed. Maybe this is who she always was, or maybe circumstances made her that way.
It doesn't matter. She is going to bleed you like a stuck pig for all you're worth and manipulate you as best as she knows how.
Shes literally doing it right now. You moved out because she's cheating on you, and she's danging your relationship like a carrot because she knows you'll jump for a bite.
You need to stop looking at her as your wife. Mother of your kids? Yes. Dont do anything to damage their relationship or alienate her.
But she is an enemy now, dude. You dont have to like it for it to be true, like anything else about this situation. Pretending you can salvage her from her own chosen ruination is setting yourself and your kids up for failure.
Because if she has randoms in your house in the middle of the night, who's protecting those children? Certainly not her while she's in a beer/sex induced coma.
Do not leave her with the kids unless she's the primary caretaker, and there's no other option. Even if you separate, YOU dont leave.
I reccoment reading through r/survivnginfidelity . There are thousands who have been in your shoes, and I can recall several immediately in your situation, also in Australia.
Ask them for advice.
Thanks for this and the reassurance!! Now I don’t feel shitty doing it over text
I definitely understand what you’re saying. I can’t imagine finding out something like this and how I would handle it.
The thing is though, this is the third post from OP about this situation, and it’s hard to believe a grown man is out there in the world who is as ignorant and self loathing as OP. He needs something to break him out of this cycle, to have him wake up and find a backbone and stand up for himself. There is absolutely nothing anyone has said that has swayed his opinion. After finding out his wife went from saying she was raped to admitting having an affair with a guy where they were looking to add another woman, he says he still loves her. It’s insane.
The only thing that could possibly push him to do the right thing is to realize that if he stays his current course, he’s setting his daughter up for a horrible life.
Don't let her manipulate you with that terminology, open/closed minded. Manipulative and immature.
You cannot schedule consent the line to “well the calender says it's sex time so you have to do it” is too thin
You seem to know very little about how young kids actually operate and you’re holding it against this 3-year-old. Please break up with him for his child’s sake.
You literally asked for their opinions.
Also recommending Maintenance Phase, in general they just do a lot of great breakdowns of America’s obsession with and fear of fatness. It’s really puts some things in perspective as cultural, not person, issues.
OP, I think your wife may have an eating disorder. This is certainly a disordered way of thinking about food. Mothers with eating disorders have a tremendously negative impact on their children. Therapy is needed.
And you would think they would act better after those big steps because a break up is messier. I’ve met everyone. He’s met everyone. We both have invested so much. Why all of a sudden is he throwing these tantrums.
How is this any different than following someone on Instagram?
Wait? Locking up mens dicks is an option? ? what in the heck
Op sounds exhausting so these two are a good pair
If your mother in law dropping in and you have anxiety because of no make up, you should get therapy and get over it. It’s a lame excuse for being a shitty person.
What the actual fuck??
OP, this is not love. This… You don't need to apologize!! You did nothing wrong! She is awful, selfcentered. She'll tell you she was afraid you would turn out to be like your father and how could you hide all of that from her and that is BULLSHIT. You didn't owe her anything and you are not your father, not now, not ever.
You should really seek therapy, what you've been through is really heavy and even if you could maybe handle it on your own, you would 100% feel better with therapy.
On another note, i'm glad you let your father die alone. Reading this, i was afraid you would give him this solace of dying in presence of loved ones after all he put you through. It gives me some revenge by proxy that i will never have for myself
Brilliant!
Girl, time to take out the trash ?
Some people’s natural body odor just smells bad to me. My roommate’s boyfriend in college smelled TERRIBLE to me when he was sweaty. Like nausea-inducing. I think whatever pheromones he was producing were just NOT what I was into. Because there are also many men who smell really good to me when they’re sweaty.
If I were you, I wouldn’t pursue this relationship. You want to be with someone who smells good to you. It’s an important part of compatibility.
You did the right thing. She needs to get her problems sorted out the best she possibly can before she worries about dating.
Reality check.
Have you ever heard the expression “beating a dead horse?” That's what you are doing. What else did she need to do after acknowledging that she left the door unlocked? You are acting like she committed some grave offense, when all she did was forget to lock a door. You are being so far beyond unreasonable that I don't even have a word to describe you. Then, you come to reddit, because you can't let it go. She deserves an apology, and I think you need therapy.
Sounds like you want different things. et her know if this is the path she takes it will alter your relationship and not for the better. It will be over.
I think that's what it is. She finds smoking disgusting. Edibles are tasty and relaxing so I don't blame her for having those. Lol.
Time to stop playing games, kids.
I absolutely agree! People on reddit act like they've never been friends with anyone in their life lol
You are in a relationship with an abusive person and should leave. You can thank his parents on the way out for their hospitality, but I would not stop for a long chat.
Definitely distance.
You’re right. Trust me. I would give this same advice to a friend. I am just saying that up and leaving is not really possible in the moment and I have no clue how to get my point across
He should be more aware. But it’s quite common to not have plus ones, and after helping plan several weddings, the amount of people who don’t actually rsvp and simply forget/wait until the bride/groom texts them to see if they’re actually going or not is disgusting.
I think it’s entirely fair to be upset about this — but I’d personally frame it as being upset about him not being able to handle the logistics. It’s a responsibility and trust issue.
I don’t know if I should mention this to him or not
What are the alternatives to this? You could act like you never heard the conversation and go about your life.
I work hybrid and I mostly always cook for my gf. She doesn't live with me just to be clear and she doesn't wfh. But she will come over after work and I'll make dinner.
Most of the time she wants to help me or do something. And I actually like cooking, so that's why I volunteer to do it. For me it's a way to decompress.
But, in your situation your partner is putting pressure on you to do this and it's turning into more of a job. So, yeah that'd upset me too.
I also acknowledge that work culture in the states is toxic af. And your bf is probably under a lot of pressure and letting it affect his relationship with you.
Is there an easier solution than someone cooking every night? Also if homie wants a packed lunch he can do that himself….
He's an immature jerk. I know it feels awful but he's not going to magically change, no matter what you do. Just walk away. You can do better & you WILL do better. & yeah, he probably cheated before, too. People who justify cheating will do it whenever they feel like.
I did something similar too.
He ended the realtionship emotionally months ago but probably waited for the “right” moment to officially end it. It feels like a relieve especially if he didnt want to hurt you unneccesary, as there was no bad blood between you.
Only difference to me is, i broke contact the moment i broke up and never talked about the relationship or my ex, wether good nor bad (also i dont use social media).
My advice is the same as most if not all other gave, move on and terminate contact with him.
This sounds a lot like if given the opportunity he would do it and maybe he has done it before that you may not know about. Very sus.
He said they had no kids or assets so it was easy to split.
This to me, if these are his words, are him conveying “marriage” without saying it (who says assets when you break up with someone) and thats a red flag. Its like a trickle truth
He’s too immature to have children with at this time and may be forever. No partner should be able to comment on your body and put conditions of their love on what you weigh.
So what would happen with your boyfriend if you told your ex? Would he leave you? Love you any less? If so, that’s ridiculous. You should tell the bio dad for many reasons- a major one if their health history… if something comes up later on in your child’s life and you need to know your ex’s health history this will come back and haunt you that you didn’t tell him when you first found out that you were pregnant and if your boyfriend can’t understand that ??♀️
Who is the one pushing for this relationship to go so fast? A promise ring at Christmas would’ve been at 3 months, which seems insanely quick, followed by a plan to move in at 6 months that was made before you even started dating?
If you’re asking for practical advice on how to slow yourself down, don’t hold him to promises made before dating. No one is seriously suggesting a fast move in before they even date, and it’s insanity to try and hold someone to that.
He wants to be with you because he’s still with you. Forcing a move in or a pet will not prove that he loves you, it would only make it harder for him to leave. “If you love it, let it go, and it’ll come back” and all that – give him space to move at his own pace, and these things will come with time. You cannot guarantee a successful relationship by rushing through a tangible checklist. It’ll either work or it won’t, and that is based on intangible things – building barriers to keep him from leaving will only hurt you both long-term.
I'm wondering if she was insecure about you having dated mostly men before and fixated on the bracelet.
Is she a lesbian? As a bi woman myself, I've found that lesbians in particular are super insecure about that kind of thing. They worry they'll get left for a man. It's bi erasure and just fucking annoying.
Totally inappropriate behavior on her part- it's something you need to watch out for when choosing a partner in the future. You did nothing wrong here.
That's rich coming from someone that doesn't see the difference in not lying and lying.