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Asuna, 21 y.o.
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Date: October 21, 2022
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“Excuse me friend, this was extremely inappropriate and I am not comfortable with this behavior. I don’t care that you were drunk, that’s no excuse for such disrespect for my marriage or our friendship. If you’re unable to control yourself from stepping over this boundary then remove him from your phone and social media so this never happens again.”
A crush is harmless but disrespecting boundaries (even while drunk) is not okay. If someone cannot control their impulses like these while drunk they shouldn’t be getting drunk. Either way there are consequences like damaging a friendship and making you lose trust in her when these things happen, alcohol or not.
(I’m polyamorous/non-monogamous and still wouldn’t be okay with this behavior from a friend. Drunkenly sending nudes to someone who doesn’t consent is wrong period. It being a friend’s monogamous partner just makes it that much worse.)
Cut her off … block her number … tell ALLLLL your mutual friends because she won't stop at trying to nail just your husband
Dam don't you love people like that , just makes you feel so special
She is 26 and clearly not ready to settle down , in 4 or 5 years she might see things differently
However that's nothing to do with you anymore just continue your life elsewhere , plenty of women out there who don't play bullshit games.
Give her a nice bracelet and wait
No. It made it worse because it slid in even farther. Condoms helped a bit. It made it more comfortable.
You have to see it from her point of view. I am a woman. If a guy I am seeing has a child, I will see him as a single father.
Guys don't understand how women think. Being a parent is part of an identity. It doesn't matter where the child is.
So many guys comment “There is already another father on the birth certificate,” “Another guy is raising her. Op is off the hook. ” Do people really don't understand what does having a child mean?
Yeah I've tried having this talk with her about what happens if they disown you but it kind of gets sidetracked. She always says we will see. Or we don't know what will happen. And the thing about kicking her out is that she just bought the home they are all living in for her family. She is such a hot working individual and they take advantage of her being so caring and obedient. Many times no one has money for the mortgage so she has to pay for it alone even though there are 3 older adults in the house that are supposed to be paying.
She is such an amazing person but she doesn't understand how they are crippling her in life. At 25 I don't feel like she should have to hide everything especially when she does so much for them all.
Right? And seriously, he’s not a celebrity children’s book author, or celebrity weatherman.
The way he’s famous, and the behavior everyone expects from someone famous because of why they’re famous, matters.
We would’ve needed lube but didn’t have any, It wouldn’t fit in.
Thank you friend
If she is cheating.. it will come out. Through text messages, caught in the act, her guilty conscience eventually taking over. Let's hope it isn't that though:)
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So his attitude isn’t really one of a religious person, unless he’s from some strict cult or something, while the service itself might be somber, then reception afterwards is often filled with conversation, especially people catching up, retelling stories about the deceased etc.
But as for your issues with your ‘friend’ that is giving you anxiety…. Why would you text them after a funeral? I’m sorry but that seems to be the height of stupidity.
Why add to an already emotional day more stress by doing that?
And as for him saying he’s tired of the situation – how long have you been dealing with this? Because if you are constantly texting this ‘friend’ causing yourself anxiety, and it’s been any length of time, I think most people would be tired of it, you deserve support for your anxiety, but if you are causing it yourself then that support has a finite supply, and lessens every time you cause your anxiety.
Anorexia is a life threatening condition. Comparing it with “being overweight”, which is not inherently unhealthy, is preposterous. Let's be honest and admit that as a society we don't like fat people for aesthetic reasons and we hide behind the health excuse to disrespect them and put them down.
I’d never put his wants or needs above my children’s, but everyone’s wants and needs are put above my own and that’s kind of how it’s always been because it’s “easier” than confrontation. You’re right though, he is being a dependent and not a partner.
I so badly want to be able to give them the world but I’ve screwed up my life to such a huge extent by letting people take advantage of me and I’d probably be worse off if he wasn’t here because I can’t cover that extra 800$.
My dad financially abused me and owes me close to 100k that I know I’ll never see. I worked for him for 2 years, sent him my hours every 2 weeks and something would always come up where he couldn’t pay me and he’d have me “add it to the total” that he owed me. He also maxed out my line of credit to pay off his credit cards so that he could improve his credit score and apply for a loan to pay me back what he owed me under a larger loan, but again, something came up and he maxed them out again, lost his job and couldn’t qualify for anything. Before evicting us from the apartment, he wanted to try and make ends meet by having me co-sign on 2 car loans (they approved him for more than the car’s worth so that he’d get cash on top of it), so I did, thinking I’d be able to stay where I was living.. huge mistake because clearly that didn’t work out, but I wanted to try and provide stability for my 2 kids that struggle tremendously with transitions. The move was hot for them, but they’re happy now.
When I told him I had no more money left, he tried to get me to “lend” him money out of my kids’ disability funding, but that was taking it too far and I refused. He threatened to kill himself but I didn’t care anymore. He’s cut off now, but I still have the maxed out line of credit and 2 car loans. I literally can’t get ahead, I can’t undo what’s been done and even though I was the person to help him out the most, I’m at the bottom of his list of people to pay back.
Most days, I don’t want to be here anymore but I can’t do that to my kids. I do so much for so many people and nobody is willing to do the same for me. The issues with my boyfriend are just the tip of the iceberg, but I don’t want to dig myself into a deeper hole by trying to make everything work with zero resources when I shouldn’t have to.
I can’t afford to stay here but I can’t afford the truck or movers, first/last month’s rent etc to go elsewhere and I really don’t want to uproot my kids’ lives after less than a year since the last move.
I don’t know why I keep ending up in these unhealthy relationships but I’m starting to think that I’m the problem because the situation was the same with my ex. I can’t just not clean or not cook, my OCD is debilitating if I don’t have the housework under control but taking care of everything is going to kill me slowly.
Would it make me a bad person if I straight up stopped buying groceries? I’d be tempted to just respond with “Sorry, can’t afford it ??♀️” if he asked when I was going to do them. I’d still buy the kids’ food (obviously), but they eat different things. I typically cook 3 separate meals so that I can ensure that the kids have a “safe” meal to eat because their diets are so limited and I need them to be fed.
You don’t want to, you have your answer. Don’t let him trample over you and convince you to do something you don’t want to do. You said no, he has an answer and if he keeps asking he’s not respecting your boundaries.
He said that they’re more than friends and that he could potentially see a relationship with this person. I find this a little offensive as we both said we wanted to take a break from relationships in general, he was the one who said that he wanted to take a year off and I agreed because I didn’t see myself being in a relationship anytime soon.
He said that they’re more than friends and that he could potentially see a relationship with this person. I find this a little offensive as we both said we wanted to take a break from relationships in general, he was the one who said that he wanted to take a year off and I agreed because I didn’t see myself being in a relationship anytime soon.
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Yes, you are. She went with her parents, not to some sort of gang bang.
Without knowing what the fight was about, it's kinda impossible to help. Must have been bad if you've gone from a supportive relationship to her not wanting to even speak to you.
The timeline laid out like this really makes it look more like Ali’s accusations were just a convenient excuse for him to sleep around on his pregnant wife..
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That happens a couple of different ways. Based on the language you use about trying to get her to 'understand' that what you're saying is right and how to confront her to understand, it is likely that she is acquiescing to get you to stop because you are fully unwilling to have any sort of equal exchange with her. You can berate her until she gives in but you have not changed her mind, you have simply bullied her. You can keep doing it and keep having this problem and the problem will eventually go away because at some point she will no longer tolerate the disrespect.
By the way, I don't think there is anything wrong with you objecting to her decision to tell your friend's girlfriend that your friend is a bad influence on you. She is fully entitled to do that and you need to realize she she is entitled to have thoughts and opinions and she is entitled to decide to say what she wants to say to anyone she wants to say it to. However, we all edit ourselves every moment of every day and there are things that are better left unsaid.
So the root of this particularly conflict is drugs. Why does your girlfriend believe that this friend is someone that promotes your drug use?
You accepting her after her cheating….. She lost respect for you my man. She has lost some/most of her attractiveness towards you. End this relationship now. It's great you forgave her.. good for you. But this relationship was over the moment she cheated then twice over when you essentially gave her a pass consequence free. She may still be out bangin other dudes too. Sorry bro. Cut ties and move on.
You treated her like a queen for a week but obviously neglected your gf in favor of her.
Let your gf go and be with someone who doesn’t want to cheat on her, emotionally or physically. Both is bad. You are doing the emotional cheating, if it wasn’t clear already.
Excuse me, can people really be so dense? Really. The post is about his PE, not their entire sex life. Also, why, if sex with him is supposedly so bad for the wife hasn’t she left, or, since she seemed to have known for a very long time, why hasn’t se said a thing about seeing a doctor? I want to believe she hasn’t married him the day after they met, that they had had sex a few times at least before marrying, and she chose to. She than says nothing about solving the problem and doesn’t leave. How did you come to the conclusion that he does nothing to make sex pleasurable for her?
Also, if this was about a woman getting pregnant and being terrified of it because she didn’t knew that sex could result in a pregnancy (and they exist thanks to good-ol’-Christian-values) I’m sure not so many people would blast her, but since PE is so much antithetical to masculinity it must be a great topic to shame people right?
Some grow up without knowing anything more about sex than the inaccurate shit their classmates throw around when they are teens, so, why making fun for someone who hasn’t thought about looking into it, when his partner knew and kept her mouth shut?
Double down and buy more dumplings. Don't share.
Dude, she MARRIED YOU!! She didn’t marry those other guys. She commutes her life to you!!
You bring all of your evidence to an attorney and see what your options are. She’s slandering you and bringing irreparable harm to your reputation and mental health.
Do not talk to her or make contact of any kind. The only thing you should do is talk to a lawyer. Don’t talk about this to anyone until you talk to a lawyer. Unblock her so you can still receive her messages.
Don't have kids, he'll do nothing and you'll have an even bigger work load, this guy is such a child himself
I swear so many of the stories on here involves a baby or marriage before 20.
Take things slow. If you two really like each other, it will happen. But give him the room he needs.
My gf also said something like this on the first date. So we kept it friendly (going out for a drink, having dinner, board games, arcade). And when you are a few months in, ask them how they feel about you now.
Tell him this.
Never stay with someone only because you think you alone can change them. If one person who as enough, they would've changed a long time ago and never needed you in the first place.
From your comment history I can tell you're not that smart so I'm not gonna continue. Bye
appreciate the advice
I can GUARANTEE your FIL (and MIL) will make a scene at your wedding or other adjacent events
100%. If one of these two is allowed near a hot mic (and those types always seem to find 'em) then they'll turn the cringe factor up to 11 and rip off the knob.
Unless they're making a significant financial contribution they need to be dropped from the list. Not threatened, dropped. Even if they are pitching in I would consider pushing the date back and downsizing to something that doesn't require their help.
Because of reddit. In person i see different age gaps all the time and no one bats an eye like they do on reddit… people live! and learn, cant control anyone
So what happens when one of these 'hot' girls makes a move? Does his demeanor suddenly change? 'Nah bro I love my girl I would never…'
Delusional.
I agree that the OP should stop putting in energy to this relationship however to say the siblings have an unhealthy codependent relationship based on a small paragraph from someone being excluded from said relationship, that they want to be apart of is really a stretch.
Sometimes you have family you like and don't like. It simply sounds like the OP has some jealousy issues and needs to step back a bit. Being overbearing may have gotten them in this position to start with :/
I always give credit where its due and you earned it. You've restored my faith in humanity and I don't even know you. You're a compete stranger just trying to look out for me. It means alot.
I smiled when I read you're in a healthy marriage. Yesssssss yes yes. Beyond happy for you and absolutely with your advice I will be in your position one day soon. Your spouse is blessed to have you.
I promise I will handle this using your suggestions and come out stronger. Thank you. Although I don't wish for any one to go through this and sadly many people go through worse but if I have the opportunity to pay it forward one day it would be my pleasure.
I’d really like this but my wife seems apprehensive to the whole idea of therapy. Honestly, I think she thinks it’s “weak” and she’s “above” it.
Look at how messed up your relationship is. You're more concerned that she will be mad that you followed up on your suspicions and broke her privacy than her cheating on you and disrespecting your marriage. I would bet my house there is much more emotional abuse from her on you in this marriage.
This isn't the time to worry about her feelings. This is the time to put you and your mental health first.
Lol ? those are my exact thoughts about strip clubs. Just a place to go and lose money for no reason.
And it’s always men who have already set their sights on someone and are really just looking for a way to legitimise their pursuit of that person, as opposed to genuinely wanting to explore that lifestyle.
Then OP should break up with them, like I said.
Putting your foot down will end this relationship, period. After not even a year, it makes sense that she's going slow in bringing you in to family things, for her to have trust in you and that this relationship is for the long haul. She's also doing her best to give their child a bond, build family time and memories.
Lol. Perfect!!