Just tell him the truth. Communication is an important part of relationships and you can't avoid talking about issues because you're afraid of hurting his feelings. Hurt feelings are inevitable, it's just a matter of dealing with the situation properly. You can mention it kindly without sugar-coating things and be truthful without being brutally honest, you just have to find the best way to word it. This can also give you a good idea of how he reacts to issues on his part, and if he is open to fixing them or if he gets defensive and perceives it as criticism.
SO- if he airdropped / shared the photos to his phone that is a major violation of your friendship and your wife’s privacy. If she is saying to drop it that doesn’t make sense. I would be so irate I would rip his teeth out. Something’s up. She shouldn’t be that chill unless she knew already or sent them.
Or let mom know that your primary care wants you to see a gynecologist for a pap smear or something. Pap smears are highly recommended for 20 something females to catch precancerous cells or HPV. Say you're nervous about the idea but your primary care was insistent. You can bring up your specific concerns about smell/possible infection once you're at the appointment in private
She knew it was going to upset you because shes led the conversation afterwards by calling herself a cunt and apologising which means she knows that it upset you, people like that will often do things like that carelessly and then try to make you forgive it by calling themselves awful and apologising profusely and feeling guilt but they don't necessarily change any behaviour. If she's doing that literally as soon as you've gone out together with the premise of it being a date, she's saved you a lot of hassle of knowing what the relationship might be like. I know a lot of people who do stuff like this and they're just messy and turbulent to be around.
Are you actually going to have a conversation with him about this first or just blindly believing what his ex is telling you? Documents can be very easily faked. How do you know it’s all true?
If she’s making it her life’s mission, why wait until you’ve already been with him for 3 years?
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
2 weeks into the marriage, I (30F) found out my husband(30M) cheated while we were dating and I've told him before that cheating was a deal breaker and yet he did it anyways.
The week that he was about to propose, I found texts of him flirting with some girl. We fought and asked him if he had slept with anyone, he said he didn't and eventually I forgave him and gave him the benefit of the doubt. Found out he was gonna propose to me midst argument because he wanted to prove that he really loves me and so I said yes a few days later.
Fast forward a year later we got married, and two weeks into the marriage that's when I found out that he DID in fact cheat on me twice(or so he says) with another woman. And had dates with a couple other. If I had found out sooner, I would have definitely left him, but I feel trapped because were married now, and I'm suppose to forget all that just because marriage is different?
It's been months now and I still think about it everyday, even dream about it as if I need a reminder. I have good days but sometimes I just feel like giving up. I really don't think he deserves me and I don't feel strong enough to stay on. Thinking it'll be easier to leave him because it's taking a toll on my mental health. What do I doooooo?! ? also, he was never honest about it, never came clean. I basically forced the truth out from him and I don't even know if it's the whole truth because he has lied so much.
“As shitty as she acted, it was just for that one guy”
As shitty as it was, I just commited the one homicide. I'd reccomend getting out of there lmfao
Just tell him the truth. Communication is an important part of relationships and you can't avoid talking about issues because you're afraid of hurting his feelings. Hurt feelings are inevitable, it's just a matter of dealing with the situation properly. You can mention it kindly without sugar-coating things and be truthful without being brutally honest, you just have to find the best way to word it. This can also give you a good idea of how he reacts to issues on his part, and if he is open to fixing them or if he gets defensive and perceives it as criticism.
SO- if he airdropped / shared the photos to his phone that is a major violation of your friendship and your wife’s privacy. If she is saying to drop it that doesn’t make sense. I would be so irate I would rip his teeth out. Something’s up. She shouldn’t be that chill unless she knew already or sent them.
Failing marriage is a reason to end a marriage not a reason to cheat
Or let mom know that your primary care wants you to see a gynecologist for a pap smear or something. Pap smears are highly recommended for 20 something females to catch precancerous cells or HPV. Say you're nervous about the idea but your primary care was insistent. You can bring up your specific concerns about smell/possible infection once you're at the appointment in private
She knew it was going to upset you because shes led the conversation afterwards by calling herself a cunt and apologising which means she knows that it upset you, people like that will often do things like that carelessly and then try to make you forgive it by calling themselves awful and apologising profusely and feeling guilt but they don't necessarily change any behaviour. If she's doing that literally as soon as you've gone out together with the premise of it being a date, she's saved you a lot of hassle of knowing what the relationship might be like. I know a lot of people who do stuff like this and they're just messy and turbulent to be around.
Yeah, everyone goes through shit. It’s not an excuse to treat someone like shit.
I’d move on and find someone who respects me and doesn’t use their trauma as an excuse to be a shitty person.
Are you actually going to have a conversation with him about this first or just blindly believing what his ex is telling you? Documents can be very easily faked. How do you know it’s all true?
If she’s making it her life’s mission, why wait until you’ve already been with him for 3 years?
There’s a lot here that doesn’t add up.
She was pretty immediate at texting me back on day one of matching me.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
2 weeks into the marriage, I (30F) found out my husband(30M) cheated while we were dating and I've told him before that cheating was a deal breaker and yet he did it anyways.
The week that he was about to propose, I found texts of him flirting with some girl. We fought and asked him if he had slept with anyone, he said he didn't and eventually I forgave him and gave him the benefit of the doubt. Found out he was gonna propose to me midst argument because he wanted to prove that he really loves me and so I said yes a few days later.
Fast forward a year later we got married, and two weeks into the marriage that's when I found out that he DID in fact cheat on me twice(or so he says) with another woman. And had dates with a couple other. If I had found out sooner, I would have definitely left him, but I feel trapped because were married now, and I'm suppose to forget all that just because marriage is different?
It's been months now and I still think about it everyday, even dream about it as if I need a reminder. I have good days but sometimes I just feel like giving up. I really don't think he deserves me and I don't feel strong enough to stay on. Thinking it'll be easier to leave him because it's taking a toll on my mental health. What do I doooooo?! ? also, he was never honest about it, never came clean. I basically forced the truth out from him and I don't even know if it's the whole truth because he has lied so much.