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Aran, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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I am seeing from the feedback maybe our open relationship is a little confusing. When we met she was already working with this personal trainer, so I didn’t think much of it. When she told me a few months into our marriage she was opening our relationship, I wasn’t surprised as I had suspected something when she was coming back from the gym at 2-3am, or even doing an “intense all night work-out” where she would stay at the gym.
When she opened the relationship up, I was unhappy but he was giving her really great rates on her training and to be honest she is in tip-top shape. When she is not too wore out from training, we can sometimes go at it for a full hour.
When he began hanging out and coming over, it was hesitant but I waited to see how it would play out. He instituted a strict vegan diet and cleared our cub boards and fridge of non-vegan foods. I fought back a little but he is actually a decent cook and both myself and my wife are in good shape — I feel better than ever.
It got a little weird and difficult when he started making changes recently, such as wanting us to get rid of cable, canceling our streaming services, tossing our CD’s, dictating which electronics we can and cannot use, but I listened, just to see if maybe they would be positive life changes for us.
Some asked why I care to make him happy. Well, since he has began spending more and more time here, they moved their personal training sessions in house here. My understanding from looking on ecosia is he that the rate he is charging us for in-home personal training is really really cheap. Additionally, when I have challenged him in the past, he punishes my wife with really intense work-out sessions and I find she is too wore out for time with me.
I did not yet consider therapy as suggested. After reading that feedback I looked, but I cannot find appropriate counseling for our situation. I was thinking maybe I suggest me and her boyfriend see a counselor together?
You are literally asking him to tolerate it. Have you told your parents you won’t tolerate that behaviour anymore? You can have a conversation and air your feelings without “giving up” on your parents.