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Antonia, 23 y.o.
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Date: November 7, 2022
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She definitely is not in any state to sign things, just because you can hold a pen that doesn't mean you have control of your faculties and they your signature is valid. OP will need to go through a court process to get power of attorney. I've been through it with someone who was very sick before.
ok. Your husband is an idiot. But if you stay with him, then YOU….
There’s an episode of “Evil Lives Here” called “Sleeping With The Enemy”. I think you should watch it. Your fiancé sounds similar and that’s concerning.
It sounds like he did really well with getting thoughtful gifts in his price range and that you went overboard with spending, knowing full well he couldn't match. I'd be over the moon if my partner got me the latest book by my favourite author and a few other thoughtful things related to my interests
Don’t move in with this guy.
Plenty of people are criticizing your behavior at the party so I’m just going to gloss over it by saying you fucked up there. Your boyfriend is right to feel upset because of how you acted at his birthday party (whether or not you were the host.)
I would like to point out some things in your post. You focus a lot on yourself and how you feel but don’t seem to much consider how he feels. Your roommates bad habits might not bother him as much as it bothers you (they are his friends so maybe he overlooks it) or maybe with your autism you’re just more sensitive about it.
You also said that your boyfriend supported you financially while you were injured, but that you didn’t feel heard emotionally. Perhaps he was at his capacity? Not sure his financial situation but he might have been focused on survival, making sure rent was paid and food was on the table; that takes mental energy and he might have been tired enough from that.
He also has his own emotional needs so while it’s not wrong for you to have your needs it’s not really his responsibility to take care of your emotional needs, and he definitely isn’t required to put it before his own. Emotions are internal, he can’t feel your emotions and he can’t control or manage your emotions which it sounds like this is the expectation you’re putting on him. This also comes across as you weaponizing your emotions to try and manipulate him.
So sorry, but you are definitely coming across as selfish and shitty. Ideally getting your own place together where you can feel safe and not tiptoeing around roommates will probably help immensely but you need to get to a spot where you can sit down together and have that conversation.
You’re unhappy with him. What you said doesn’t change that.
This will be unpopular but let's face it, the relationship won't last. Nobody is wrong for that. You need physical sex and the longer you put it off, the more it will manifest itself in other areas of your life.
It's a fantasy this idea that you can be in a committed relationship while having sex with others. It will end badly and if you truly love her, as I suspect you do, it will crush you inside. You will get your sexual needs met but emotionally, it will be hell. Also let's be realistic, there are plenty of people who start off casual relationships which inevitably end up being emotional as well. Even if it's unplanned, it happens. At that point, you'll be having an affair which will go against your arrangement.
I'm not going to criticize you for being human as most here seem to be doing. Saying things like 'if you love her, you wouldn't do this' because the truth is, no one here is in your situation. It seems cruel and flaky but real people in real relationships understand the complexities of relationships.
Honestly, the best thing to do here is to break up amicably. The relationship is not meeting all of your needs. That's the fact. Everything else is sentimental.