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annasteizi chat
Date: October 16, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
annasteizi chat
I need advice on what to do with this emotionally and socially, already took all the steps with police and endurance
My parents have an age gap of 13 years. It did not work out well. They fell in love when my om was 18,.married at 19. A lot of things were lining up for them. My mom desperately wanted to leave the house as she had strict parents. She wanted to break free. My dad was a bit rebellious, just like my mom. My mom wanted a lot of kids, so she didn't mind starting early, matched what she wanted. Then she got pregnant, as planned. She was 21 and grew up in just a few months. Going to bed in time, taking her health serious, lessen her smoking. My dad however, did not. Halfway to his forties, he still was the adolescent of the two. Intelligent man, just never learned to deal with emotions.
Also, life had been nude to my dad and he had learned some manipulation tactics to be able to deal with the world. So he sometimes manipulated my mom. He didn't do it on purpose, that's just how he thought the world worked. That that was the way to become happy, to have things go your way.
It didn't work out. My mom had a second child, realised she had to be able to raise all the kids she got with him on her own, as he wasn't much of a help. Then she became less naive and less blind and realised she couldn't change him. She divorced him. My dad was set for an unhappy life, with his inability to deal with emotions properly. If they wouldn't have divorced, they both would have been unhappy. My mom blossomed after leaving my dad.
My point I guess is, their lives matched up, it was all nice and fine, untill it turned out that why they matched up, was that my dad froze in his adolescent stage.
I don't think that this is about your looks. She may have a degree of depression. She may not feel very attractive herself. She may be tired out by the child. Maybe she just isn't that into you now, or ever was. Perhaps marriage counseling could flush this all out for the both of you to work on. Good luck.
What sort of person still smokes?
Respectfully, I would rather die alone than be with someone remotely close to this child. I am sorry OP but RUN!!!!
You don't have to force it to work if you aren't comfortable to, that's not really what I'm saying. Im saying if this path of self destruction is out of character, then you're right that he needs help, whether it be from you or someone else, and with you, or without you. I also mean that I don't know that I could leave my partner in this context, without pushing further, but I certainly don't judge you for not, nor do I know whether this is new, what your relationship is generally like, the length of time you've been together etc. I am purely thinking about it from my own perspective and relationship. This would be something I'd be absolutely freaking out about, if it was my partner, and break up wouldn't even be in my mind, because he'd never do either of these things, unless he was deeply, deeply depressed. So I am questioning if that is what's happening to him. But you certainly don't need permission or a reason to leave, if you're not wanting to stay.
I will say, that I think you should reach out to his family about him, whether you break up or not, as this behaviour is a bad sign if you've never seen it before.
In the meantime, I'd recommend looking at videos/books from therapists. Particularly the codependent & narcissist relationship dynamic and see if that resonates at all.