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Anna * Annamonik.com *see me on twitch.tv/anna_monik, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 6, 2022
What I would give to be in a relationship with someone willing to support me going back to school. To clarify my partner is amazing, we are just poor lol.
Your bf sounds like he just wants to be kept. Which is fine if you are fine with that. But you are offering him ways to improve his life and yours by extension, but he'd rather watch the dogs and smoke weed. That's messed up. I think it may be time for an incredibly deep talk about the future and expectations in this relationship and how each person contributes or deep talks about separation.
Man. Pay off al your debt and then worry about a meaningless wedding because in my opinion, that’s all it is. Being together, supporting and loving each other is far more important than getting married.
As many times as I feel like? Don’t take Reddit so seriously. Ok?
I know everyone is saying you need to “find a new job and control yourself”. I mean I agree with them that you need to control yourself. However, don’t find a new job. I PROMISE you half the people you made a fool of yourself in front of have been in your shoes. I certainly have been – not exactly but I’ve been a mess. The way you acted isn’t okay. Address it with your closest colleagues – tell them that you apologize for losing your control at the Christmas party and that you will do better going forward. You can’t beat yourself up about this forever.
I work in a law firm. There is alcohol EVERYWHERE. Remember, you get 1 drink if you haven’t eaten and 2 if you have dinner with it.
Shes obviously insecure with her and her husband's relationship. Try to take a step back. Assure her you were not then nor currently pursuing her husband. Tell her u appreciate that he was a good enough man to make sure u were okay even though he knew he may get into trouble w his wife and that youre sorry for any problems u had caused bc you didnt mean to do so.
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And what exactly are you going to do when he is out in society soon hitting and biting other people's children or worse escalating that violence?
I’m so sorry for what happen, I send you a big hug.
The husband is a big issue, there’s other great answers here for that. About the friend, she used the text to feed her ego for 11 years, imagine how good she felt during the wedding, and at every milestone or success you had, knowing that she ‘had afforded you’ (BS) with that life. That’s why she resents you.
Now that it’s too painful to see you’re happy, now that the ego trip is over, she decided to use you in another way and make herself feel powerful by taking away and destroying your family, from this perspective it is very sad she is managing to pause you’re entire life with one touch
This is highly manipulative, very cruel, please try to maintain distance from her
After being in some pretty unloving, toxic relationships with other guys, I finally found someone who doesn’t abuse, yell, cheat or hide me.
Just because he doesn't treat you like crap doesn't mean he's the one for you.
He's already backpedaled on moving in together, he's right you do deserve more, you deserve to be with someone that wants the same things
If lawyer says it’s ok, then send it.
If lawyer says it’s not ok, ask when it will be ok and then send it after that date.
Morality isn’t the issue if he is going to send it to this woman no matter what. He most likely would need to wait until everything is finalized.
OP, you did assault her. Depending on state laws, that's anything from assault, menacing, threatening, etc.
But… she also committed battery against you.
So congratulations, you're both domestic spousal abusers. It's like that song “Breakfast at Tiffany's” except fucking awful. And then you come here looking for advice? My guy, you're flirting with prison time. Throw in the towel, lick your wounds, and stop being abusive. Maybe that way you'll pair up with someone who, also, isn't an abuser.
You have 2 options.
Talk to your wife. both of you can talk about this and why he thinks she was with another man. listen to her answers and move on.
or contact your excoworker and say sorry. Tell him it hurt you so you lashed out. start watching your wifes schedule or have him message you when they show up again.
I was married to someone who developed a serious drinking problem. I don't drink at all so she would knock back a bottle or 2 a night and insisted on starting a family. We tried AA, cold turkey, counseling etc. She sobered up for a few months then decided she wanted to have a couple quiet social drinks with her work mates. I foolishly agreed she'd done well and I couldn't really stop her anyway. That night she came home slaughtered, and went back to 2 bottles of wine a night the following night until I sat down with her and decided it's not working for either of us. She's still an alcoholic and I moved on to a very fulfilling and loving relationship. Moral of the story here mate, not every wants to be helped. ESPECIALLY if they don't think they have problem. Cut your losses and find someone who can drink responsibly.
YOU bring it up.
Show curiosity via active listening (easy to google) for her feelings until you can validate them (google “six levels of validation in relationships” shooting for higher levels of validation where possible). THEN share yours. Example below
GF: Hey did you see that person just gave me a death glare? Me: oh why do you think that? Gf: He was frowning in this direction and has his arms crossed. Me: oh, I can see how that can look like a death stare. For me, I took that as him being frustrated with the waiter.
I'm going to make this reply simple;
Dudes like this don't deserve girlfriends. He's a douche. End it.
So apparently I've been using video games wrong this whole time??
I want some advices are you free and can you help me
Yeah that’s what I figured it was. He’s just comfortable with the way it is because I haven’t expressed my displeasure with the situation due to my anxiety/fear/insecurity, which isn’t helping at all. Definitely gonna run the topic by my therapist and see what he thinks about it! Thanks for the advice!
Return only the ring.
You are capable of so much! You CAN do this, I have had a similar experience but not with the father of my children but another partner. It is very shocking at it took me awhile to recover. I still distrust men a lot. Highly suggest leaning onto your sister, finding a therapist, and going as low contact as possible with him once you have a safe exit strategy. I’m on your side!
The girls he looks at might look more attractive (according to you), but if he does get another girlfriend, she’ll likely be just as “mature” as you.