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Ann, 22 y.o.
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Date: November 30, 2022
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That's right. Past is past, those bad memories should forget. Retain those who make you feel happy.
Happened to me. She was in my bridal party, and I thought we stayed good friends. When she got engaged I found out secondhand, and was told it was a small, family affair. Then I found out how many of our friends were invited. I was crushed. OP, you were never intended to know about any of this until after you spent your half of the money on the engagement party. Engagement parties, showers, bachelorette parties…these are all things hosted and paid for by bridesmaids, work friends, and parents. You are none of these. It would be exceedingly poor etiquette for you to take the spotlight from another bridesmaid when the bride and groom gush their thanks over the surprise via toasts at the event.
Sounds like he was just waiting for you to “mess up” to follow that girl. If he just followed her to spite you, you dodged a bullet. He even updated his Facebook Relationship Status? Sounds like he is kinda immature here.
BE CAREFUL. His actions are illegal and a fireable offense. However this is criminal stalking behavior and there is significant data showing that this type of person often ESCALATES behavior in the event of being fired or arrested, rather than stopping.
• Document every single contact he makes. Keep proofs safe in a folder or backed up on-line.
• Do not respond to requests for contact. Give a single clear command for him to stop contacting her and then IGNORE ALL OTHER CONTACT. Any response, positive or negative, makes him feel like he’s winning. He wants attention.
• Ask for guidance from a domestic violence shelter, community advocacy groups or a specialized law enforcement stalking team. Seek the opinion of a professional familiar with stalking. An uneducated police officer may instruct her to simply file for a restraining order which, again, typically causes escalation and not cessation with the most serious stalkers.
This is a serious situation, please be careful.
Switch gyms and switch boyfriends
You know your friend is uncomfortable or whatever so why did you tell him on Wednesday that you’re going to go sleep with a friend ?? That wasn’t his business
Have you tried having a very blunt, up front conversation with your wife about your relationship and what you're thinking and feeling? You say you can't get her to talk, but have you actually said “I am ready to divorce because I can't keep living like this?”
Something is going on with your wife that caused her to check out so completely. If she knows that you are ready to leave, that might get her to actually talk to you about what is going on, and it might push her to start trying to fix her issues. Granted, that doesn't mean you can't decide it's already too late, but if there is any desire in you to try and save your marriage, having a frank, honest conversation about where your head is at is the best place to start.
She wants him to exercise, like she does. That is the point, not where.
well said…
At first I thought you hadn't seen her hot in person. But this seems to be about her being unwilling to send nudes. There are lots of good reasons someone wouldn't want to send nudes. I think you should respect them.
You aren't 29. Your parents' opinions really don't matter here? I mean, if your soon-to-be ex doesn't believe in therapy, what are you going to do, tie him down & drag him there?
So your then 32-year-old husband impregnated a teenager who was so traumatized by their relationship she didn’t tell him she was carrying his kid? Do you not see the red flags here?
Dude no, he pissed purposefully.
Gotcha. I'd maybe just explain that you'd prefer to hear it from her in the future. That you're not going to get angry or cause a scene, you trust her to handle things appropriately (if you do), but it's concerning when she hides it from you.
Maybe check out a therapist first.
You will 100% regret losing your virginity with him. Not because it's some sacred rite of passage, but because it will not be a positive, informative, or fulfilling experience. It is very unlikely he will care about how you are feeling or what you want, whether you want to continue once you start, or even wearing a condom. This guy's very obviously only interested in one thing, and it's unlikely he's even good at it. Find someone kind and patient, my friend.
Check your thyroid.
You've got every right to be upset that she lied to you. Especially if her motivation was because she just assumed you'd be a knuckle dragging neanderthal about it. So maybe you could tell her that her reasons for lying paint you in a pretty bad light and try to find out why she assumed you'd be upset about this. You and she weren't even exclusive at that point so obviously there was no reason to not tell you the truth. This is important because if you do give off some vibe of being unreasonable about such things it's something you'll want to work on.
You've got every right to be upset that she lied to you. Especially if her motivation was because she just assumed you'd be a knuckle dragging neanderthal about it. So maybe you could tell her that her reasons for lying paint you in a pretty bad light and try to find out why she assumed you'd be upset about this. You and she weren't even exclusive at that point so obviously there was no reason to not tell you the truth. This is important because if you do give off some vibe of being unreasonable about such things it's something you'll want to work on.
Just my experience, as a woman with a small kid, going away means more work beforehand to prepare, and you can't let loose and party in the same way because you have to go home and be prepared for childcare again. Obviously she can go, just saying that it won't be the same and it's understandable for her to grieve that a little.
Your boyfriend has made his choice. He’s not going to stop. He doesn’t want to change, despite your pushing. I’m sorry, but you’re either going to stay with him and suffer, or you’re going to have to find someone who shares your outlook on health.
Sounds like this is now about convenience on her side… just be honest.. being apart made you realize that this relationship is not what you want. Don’t get stuck enabling her financially – she is not your responsibility.
Lot of ignorance on OP's part haha. Shocking.
This is way, way less, a relationship advice question and more a legal advice question.
You need to figure out how to get out of your lease asap. If you move in with him you should fully expect your life to be on pause for a year, yes. Yes, it was very dumb but hopefully you learned your lesson. The worst mistake you can make now is procrastinating on finding a way out of your lease.
You should have dated someone your own age. So she gap first red flag. Together just over a year and there is already a Baby involved? Second red flag… why are you with him? Why would you get pregnant so early on without any real commitment? Honestly…
I’d agree if she didn’t whisper it while they were falling asleep. Telling your partner something so major should be done in the context of, “I have something I need to tell you, let’s sit for a conversation.” Not something you murmur in their ear when you’re cuddling in bed. That’s a big bomb to drop so casually.
I think the key thing that’s weird is the setting she talked about it. If she talked about it in a serious and remorseful way, I would say that’s different. I think it’s even weirder that she thought it’s something you might like to hear about. I think based on the way she spoke about it, she doesn’t genuinely feel ashamed about it
So she's going to go have a months-long affair and lie to your face about it every time she feels neglected? That sounds like a good person to invest your life and love in.
/s
My phone (Samsung) has a screen record option when I swipe down from the top, with the wifi/data/bluetooth stuff. Super handy if you can replay the snap and use the built-in recorder
Oh, I don’t know I suspect he’s fallen down a mysoginistic loophole because today he called me a s*** which upset me a lot and I started crying and everything kicked off again because my husband shouted at our son for making me cry and it was awful.