You fucked up and you’re going to lose both the girl and the job. Before throwing yourself a pity party, remember that you hurt your girlfriend in a way that will last for years. She won’t be able to trust people as easily and will be insecure because of you.
The only way you can make this worse is by not telling her. Then you’d be a cheater and a liar. She’ll eventually find out so if you want to do the right thing, tell her.
You don’t have to feel bad for wanting clarity. You are spending the prime of your youth with this person and it is fair that you get an answer on whether your goals for the relationship are in alignment. Otherwise, what is to stop him from not giving an answer for another 4 years, leaving you feeling resentful and angry at having wasted so much time? His vagueness and unwillingness to give a clear answer after 4 years together is unfair, it is perfectly reasonable/mature to discuss timelines in a relationship, and you should make it clear what your desires are. He is entitled to have different goals to you, but If he refuses to give you an answer (whatever it may be), or if they are different from your own then you might consider that you want different things and are simply not compatible.
I'm sure you have traditions in your culture that you don't fuck married men, and that women who do so are looked down upon. How does your culture traditionally treat sexually immoral women? You're a hypocrite and only follow culture when it suits you.
OP could have communicated better yes, but… what kind of partner invites their bf over to hang out with them, then purposefully does things they can't participate in, excludes them from the one activity he could have participated in, and then bitches about how egocentric he is and that he “betrayed” her?
All because he dared to finally show his feelings?
Nah.
That was inconsiderate, petty and immature all the way around.
Why would you personally send nudes to someone without sexual intent lol
They don't have to agree with you. This is a boundary you have and an expectation you set. If they don't like it, they can leave.
It's disrespectful to you.
You fucked up and you’re going to lose both the girl and the job. Before throwing yourself a pity party, remember that you hurt your girlfriend in a way that will last for years. She won’t be able to trust people as easily and will be insecure because of you.
The only way you can make this worse is by not telling her. Then you’d be a cheater and a liar. She’ll eventually find out so if you want to do the right thing, tell her.
You don’t have to feel bad for wanting clarity. You are spending the prime of your youth with this person and it is fair that you get an answer on whether your goals for the relationship are in alignment. Otherwise, what is to stop him from not giving an answer for another 4 years, leaving you feeling resentful and angry at having wasted so much time? His vagueness and unwillingness to give a clear answer after 4 years together is unfair, it is perfectly reasonable/mature to discuss timelines in a relationship, and you should make it clear what your desires are. He is entitled to have different goals to you, but If he refuses to give you an answer (whatever it may be), or if they are different from your own then you might consider that you want different things and are simply not compatible.
Wow sounds like you made the right decision for you. Live your best life while your young.
This. Don't bring another person into the problems you have. Fix your problems first.
They seem to put effort into anything other than getting a girlfriend…
Test showing I'm STD negative? gotcha
Finding the right community? alright
Talking to a stranger and setting this meeting up live with no proper knowledge of the person? okay
Actually talking to someone and going on a date… Nah I'm good.
I'm sure you have traditions in your culture that you don't fuck married men, and that women who do so are looked down upon. How does your culture traditionally treat sexually immoral women? You're a hypocrite and only follow culture when it suits you.
OP could have communicated better yes, but… what kind of partner invites their bf over to hang out with them, then purposefully does things they can't participate in, excludes them from the one activity he could have participated in, and then bitches about how egocentric he is and that he “betrayed” her?
All because he dared to finally show his feelings?
Nah.
That was inconsiderate, petty and immature all the way around.
Therapy
How should I let them know? Should I ask the specific girl I know was shared if she consented to something like this?