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TOP OFF [Multi Goal]
Date: October 6, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
TOP OFF [Multi Goal]
Calm down. She said she wants to hang out. So hang out. You’ll have to guage what kind of relationship she wants, as she has previously said ‘friends’ but you’ll have to wait and see. Why don’t you propose an activity for that hang she suggested. Something you know will be good for the two of you.
How can you trust her again? She cheated on you, then lied about it to you, and you spent time thinking about what you did wrong, doubting yourself, when in fact she was cheating the whole time.
Fuck that.
Thank you for your feedback. Ive done both. He gets ashamed & is apologetic. He then becomes mindful of his drinking for a period of time until it happens again. Something I didnt mention is ive attempted to break up, but he was so adamant on changing his behavior for me to stay so i stayed. Knowing that we have had this conversation, I feel like my only sense of hope would be to ask him to stop drinking all together. But realistically, thats not practical & cant be asked of someone unless they genuinely want that for themselves.
Yeah dude is a unusual for sure. I'd stop dining at high end places or just tolerate it. Not really a battle to get him to change, is my guess as it'll be a losing one.
It's really creepy to keep a list though.
Ive spoken to him about this and due to his social anxiety he doesnt want to go out and meet people and he wont join like a club or anything to meet people, i have suggested we go together then whilst we are there we sorta seperate and make our own interactions and so im there if he panics we can leave and i can be his safety net, which he just replied i dont know.
If neither one of you is willing or able to move, then this has come to a stalemate and needs to be cut off. Forcing one person to do what they don’t want to will cause resentment in the future, and it will ruin the relationship completely.
Have him buy the house then you pay him rent. Win win
Something is going on with your brother and more hatred and anger will only make him worse/ shove him deeper into weird racism and off-kilter comments. It’s not your responsibility to fix or save him, but if it were me I’d approach him with compassion and ask why he thought that was an appropriate thing to say and if he’s ok or if he’s really unhappy and struggling with something. You can even point out he’s been rather unkind to you in the preceding months and ask why—not from a place of anger, but genuine curiosity. If he continues the racism i’d calmly point out he’s being racist and you’re unable to engage with him constructively til he can come with kindness and rational thinking and then just gray rock til he says anything less vitriolic.