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Suck tits/Control Lush 1 MIN X 69 TKS!, ⭐ [Multi Goal]
Date: November 8, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
Suck tits/Control Lush 1 MIN X 69 TKS!, ⭐ [Multi Goal]
Yup. That should be number 1. Sounds like he moved away and you gotta move on or move over there. Realistically ya know.
It's really hard. I had no idea what to do with my time and I feel like I'm still learning.
Ok even if you did cheat (which you obviously didn’t) there’s no room for “mental torture” in a healthy relationship…the fact that he got into a physical fight requiring police involvement over believing something that didn’t even happen is deeply concerning. I’d definitely have to encourage you to discontinue this relationship. Plus people who have the capacity of mental abuse have the capacity to escalate….tread carefully.
But isnt there a way S can get over it? I mean she doesnt have to have contact with J
Huh?
Yeh the relationship is over no one should put up with that childish bollocks – what is it with ppl thinking they are entitled to having a free/cheap ride based on someone else’s success these days
You have an asshole of a boyfriend (Guy here). Sounds like he very insecure and if he’s saying this crap to you, what else is he saying?
So abuse should just stay in the family?? Why is it okay to protect an abuser?
Sexual compatibility is a huge part of a healthy relationship.
You're not alone in this.
My friend and his wife are sex drive mismatched… I know this because his wife came to me and asked me if there was anything going on with him (like cheating or something else).
I spoke with him about it… he's cool with having sex once every week or 2… and come to find out, it only last 5-10 minutes, there's no foreplay or anything extra. It's super vanilla and she gets mad at him for not doing more. And I found out the poor guy is on the sub 5″ side and he's very insecure about it. And he gets super insecure when she even talks about toys. But he's completely content with their sex life as it is.
They're completely matched in everything else… and on the verge of splitting because of their sexual incompatibility issue.
You can't up your partner's sex drive… it has nothing to do with you, it's literally them.
And it seems like there are more and more dudes with low sex drives these days.
Talk to your dude and tell him you need good sex daily or yoir relationship isn't going to work out. And be prepared to split.
You're good man. Sounds like she'll love your gift. With yall being young and only together for 3 months, I don't find it necessary to have to go buy a $250 piece of jewelry. That's so cliche. I think your gift is thoughtful. Buy her a piece of jewelry randomly. Just a random day for a surprise. She'll love that. Maybe around yalls 6 months together. Not all women love jewelry.
You got her some awesome thoughtful gifts! As a woman myself, I despise jewelry and you never see me wear them. Their view is so wrong on so many levels. If your girlfriend mentioned she likes jewelry, then it's fine to get her some but from your post she hasn't.
Thank you I appreciate your comment, at least someone on earth doesn't think I'm a crazy, privacy violating monster.
Right. And a co worker!? It hurts.
Oh gosh he just won’t stop. I need to sleep
Sounds like a gold digger, I think she did you a favor by dumping you
I really appreciate your kindness and insight on this topic. Your right I’m 20, I’m not a kid and in no way am I saying my behaviour is right.
Id say another thing is as a child I never was taught to clean up after myself as my mum was a stay at home mum. That’s probably part of the issue.
I can’t, I have to stay weekends… but I’m looking into moving away full time.
I’ve got a therapist, and actually she’s suggested I might have ADHD multiple times. I often disregard it. I don’t have these issues like flushing the toilet or milk outside of nt family home. I’ll be suggesting PTSD and brain fog to her at our next session.
Again I really appreciate it
I think it's a fair conversation to have if both partners are open to it. She however, is not. That unfortunately leaves your hands tied.
She seems either interested or just very polite.
You might try asking her to “hang out again” . Taking her back to your place might be forward until you know her intentions, but you could always ask her if she is comfortable at your place or prefers public. If she does go out, maybe lightly mention you haven't been on a date in 12 years. Jokingly say you aren't going to tell people or gossip, but in your little diary you are counting it as a date so you don't feel so ashamed. See what her reaction is, she might even say she counts it as a date too.
Either way, basically just be light and humorous. Don't try to press too hard or make too much of an impression. Relax and be yourself. If she likes you more than a colleague, it will start to show. If not, you are no worse than you were before you went out with her.
She's playing games and it just isn't worth it. Just block her.
How is there no room if only one of your kids on-line with you?
Wow what a prick
So according to this, what does he owe her?
This is something we don't talk about enough – sometimes depression and anxiety are chemical or hormonal disorders. And sometimes they're natural responses to living in a shit show. Even OP says she's spent years trying to temper expectations that life isn't a Disney movie?
Dump him. Do not waste another moment on this insecure child. Do not waste your youth with dumbass fuck boys. No one has the right to “allow” you to get a sex toy Do not take him back when he whines and throws temper tantrums, because dudes like this will
It's not odd. Fourteen year old children are like “You can't have that pen anymore because Susan gave it to you.” Grown ups understand that people have lived lives prior to meeting them, and very often have a whole lot of items which were gifts. They don't have to clean house to cater to your insecurities.
What would you do with a person who was married previously, or had a house with someone? Do they have to move for you? Get rid of all the furniture, or some of the appliances? Try to remember which t-shirts they bought and which were under the Christmas tree five years ago?
I'm very upset for him that he felt he had to do that, instead of telling you to pound sand with such a childish request. You owe him an apology, and if he threw those items out you owe it to him to do everything in your power to locate or replace them. The only person who has been disrespected here is him, and if you're suspicious because he doesn't feel the need to automatically commit arson on all remnants of his life that were tired to old relationships, then you don't need a boyfriend, you need a therapist.
You genuinely enjoyed your time at the spa, even though she was sobbing and crying at times at said spa? But she tried to “perk up” a couple of times during this fairly public surprise, so obviously it was enjoyable for her too? What?
And then on the way home you asked her what the problem was, and she told you in detail?
And you're talking like she pretty much ruined your day and owes you an apology?
I'm just trying to figure out if I read this right.
You're trying to justify cheating on someone you supposedly intend to marry.
When my mother was 16 she found herself pregnant and shortly thereafter married to the 18 year-old father.
They gave birth to my sister in 1968 and remained together until 1977 when the marriage was annulled due to spousal abuse; during those nearly ten years my mother and sister were quite poor if not deeply impoverished; trailer park living and for a time they even made due in a teepee.
In 1978, after moving back in with her mother, my mother met my father and they were married the following year.
My parents bought their first house in 1979 and adopted (international) me and my brother in 1983 and 1989, respectively; we grew up solidly middle class.
Our birthdays and christmases were filled with legos, action figures, rollerblades, bikes, Starter jackets, snowboards, gaming systems, stereos, and musical instruments.
When I was nine, they redid our backyard by adding a large patio with a basketball hoop and three-spire jungle gym with a bridge, firearms pole, monkey bar, and swings.
This past Christmas, as the family gathered for dinner, we all shared what was our most memorable Christmas present.
My brother said 1991, the year we got our Super Nintendo; my sister said it was 1975, the year all she got was a bottle of vitamin C.
Without a doubt, my sister harbors resentment having experienced a much less secure childhood than that of her younger siblings.
Its insane that she says she lost her job because of this. I definitely agree with counseling because an adult should've figured this out easily. Rideshare. Fix the car and put it on a new CC that has no interest for a year. This girl has serious issues if she couldn't find a way to fix her car and get rides to work.
This is terrible advice. What should she be doing in a ten day old relationship? Providing a spreadsheet of all he friends and acquaintances and how well she knows their families?
How much notice do you need to provide to your brand new boyfriend to go to dinner with a ten year friend and his mum and dad? Does he need a list of her other social engagements too?
Seriously grow the fuck up and get some help for your insecurity.
thank you! I’ve been in therapy for a long time, and I pretty much came to a conclusion that I have to leave. now I’m having cold feet and second thoughts, and thinking of whether I can even trust myself. so I booked another therapist who might not be biased… I don’t know, I guess I want to justify myself.
But he may not want to admit it’s depression. He may know what it is. But does he recognize it in himself? As for not doing chores. If you on-line in a no fault state. You can leave him for rooting for the wrong baseball team if you want. You may have to speak with him so he knows how frustrated you are.
I’d mention you are considering divorce. Let’s hope that works well enough to get his attention.
Doesn't matter that your is unemployed. You are adults, adults pay for their own fricken food… Your mom is married to your Dad, they get to work out her working or not, it doesn't concern you.
So idk , the condom fell off and we took plan b so I think it was mine.
None of the top comments are telling her to break up…
Do you have a partner and do you play a lot of games? I only ask as if yes to both, it’s a really good insight to perhaps what my boyfriend feels. No pressure to answer if this is too personal
Not going to answer the first, as to the second. As to video games I use too play when I was younger. But I put the game on pause when the phone rang. I am not the same generation as you, hence the I don't get it
In my opinion – I never mind him playing his games unless it affects our quality time. Many times he has played his game and I haven’t been bothered. But when you’re talking about something important or watching a show together I feel like the game should be put down.
If I am going to talk to someone I am going to pay attention. If its not worth paying attention to why bother
The posts concerns when we agree on a set activity and instead of putting his attention to the activity he goes onto his game. As I said in the post, this doesn’t include the niceties of “how was your day” conversation.
I would end the call,” talk to me when you are ready, and obviously you are not ready “
I dont want to talk to someone when they are doing something else. I have no problem not talking but when it's important I expect their attention.
Just drop him entirely, no explanation needed.
If he hasn't figured out that picking nose/eating the booger is not socially acceptable, he's too clueless to have a girlfriend. People like this usually have other gross mistakes/oversights. Just get yourself free.
I love when she dances and we do it very often. It's just when she's twerking at the bar w/o me that feels out of place.
She rarely ever smokes. Whenever we do smoke (maybe once every few months), she always gets it from me. She never asked me at all for anything in this scenario.
Well if she hasn't had sex with anyone else yeah I'd say you're a father. I guess you didn't use any birth control? Or did it fail?
My stepmom had this done in the 80s. The photo wasn’t even revealing. But it was too intimate to be on the wall. Yes they hung it in the bedroom. But ALL the kids were in there frequently. It was awkward and made me hate these types of photos which really felt like a narcissistic display. My stepmom was not a narcissist in the slightest so these photos were just a bizarre anomaly we never knew how to categorize.
We went to high school together and reconnected at a mutual friend’s wedding a couple of years ago and had a long distance thing going on before I moved her out here from California. She has no family or close friends in the area. She’s been talking to her abusive ex and trying to get him to move out here with their son. He has been sending her money for quite a while now. She has been throwing him in my face since we broke up about how much better he is than me.
Honestly, just break up. You can't handle that they've been lifelong friends and have a past. This will CLEARLY come up over and over. She's a non-negotiable for him, and you're too jealous to be with someone with a close friend like this. Neither of you actually sound mature enough to be in a healthy long term relationship. Things like this should ALWAYS be worked out and addressed before engagement or marriage. He should have been forthcoming with you about everything from the start. You're just not compatible from the way it sounds.
I'm sorry, but I would have cut this off at the root. If my 25 year old partner was taking to a 15 year old? No thank you. And then continued for 3 years and moved them in? No one signs up for that
I have never been cheated on, true story. I think it’s because if I end up dating someone who does this, I end it.
You already know he has a wandering eye. He said no “physical” cheating. Do you know what that means?
He is very controlling and this is classic abuser behavior.
You need to realize that things will only get worse. He’ll try to isolate you from your friends, claim you don’t love him if you don’t comply with his wishes, and slowly but surely control every aspect of your life.
This is an emotionally abusive relationship. Get away from this man.
You're doing the right thing. If basic respect isn't offered, you have to be willing to walk away. If he truly wants to make amends, you can be open to that. If he only wants to be right…it's a huge red flag that you will not be respected in your marriage.
He's 7
It’s insane to try to exert this kind of control over your 18 year old girlfriend…
You being uncomfortable with weed doesn’t make it wrong for her to do it— it would only make it wrong for you to do it.
You’re letting your insecurities destroy your marriage and then turning it around and accusing him?
You’re letting your insecurities destroy your marriage and then turning it around and accusing him?
His defensive attitude doesn’t reflect well on him. If he’s as mystified as you he would be as anxious to the bottom of this as you. The fact that you were away for a few days present the opportunity for a sexual liaison.
My guess is that it could be a casual partner, say maybe a pickup from a bar who just popped it into your drawer out of spite to get him into trouble. Probably not an affair partner or a mistress.
Look for any stray hair on the pillows, bedsheets or bathroom which doesn’t belong to any of you. Check with neighbours if they have heard or seen anything. Hope you he to the bottom of this.
First, you two are way toooo young to get married, don’t rush this.
Second, I think sex that only concentrates on piv is just bad sex, no matter the penis. Women need clitoral stimulation and most of our clits just are built in a way that fingers and mouths can do better than a dick. So if you are hellbent on your penis being the main source of orgasms, I have bad news for you. No matter the woman.
Third, your fiancee sucks. Talking to her friends about this before even talking to you is just plain mean and not mature at all. Also, faking orgasms just doesn’t get you anywhere (although I know a lot of women do it, because a lot of men think their dicks are magic and can change female anatomy).
So my advice would be to either end this relationship or have a serious talk with her to see if she is willing to work on her communicating skills and also be a better person in general (as in not talking about such intimate things with her friends and ridiculing you). Also, you need to accept your dick. It’s not magic, it never would be. If you expect it to be the main character of sex, you will either get a lot of fake orgasms or no sex at all. No matter your size.
Yes it does sound like it unfortunately. I'm sorry
First, I am autistic and I have been caring for dogs professionally for 15 years.
Cacao poisoning in dogs is due to the naturally occuring chemical theobromine. If there had been enough theobromine to harm the dog (this is a matter of weight/size to content,) it would have suffered massive brain failure. Then died a painful death.
She meant to kill the dog. She knows what she was doing. There is no way to give a dog a mild case of theobromine poisoning that is recoverable like say, a hangover or a stomach flu. She does not love animals. Get it through your head.
I personally won’t date someone until we are exclusive. If you don’t mind the other guy giving her back shots on Valentine’s Day then make plans. If she wanted to cancel she would. Remember they are never yours it’s just your turn.
You are not mature enough to be in a relationship. You’re abusing drugs and throwing tantrums over laundry instead of communicating like an adult. You’re being emotionally abusive by threatening her and cursing at her. You need to leave her alone and get your shit together. This is how a 16 year old acts, not a 29 year old. She is not your mom that you can treat that way and she’ll still love you. Adults communicate.
And again, get off the drugs.
I have to say after your first post I really sided with your fiance but after all the things you typed here… No… They should have taken care of you, they should have prioritised you, gone to your games. It's not fair to ask them to stop what they are doing usually, but if they neglect their own child just to get railed that's so far from okay or healthy or “just making [them] happy” or whatever
I think you missed an important mark from the comment you responded. I'd be smart of you to talk to a professional/therapist, and try to understand why would they consider be the best way to engage this.
Thank you for your insight I will try to end things tomorrow morning
Can't you do both? Cooking dinner and playing Nintendo doesn't sound like it's going to break the bank on your holiday budget. Can't you do one on the day and one the day after, or the weekend right before, and celebrate it both days?
Bad troll post.
First of all, be patient. You two don't know each other yet. He may still be deciding himself how to deal with everything in his life. Another few weeks at least, though not much longer then that.
Second communicate fact to face. That easier to see what's going on. You really want to see that he is also making an effort, and describe what you are thinking about. You know he's busy, but effort is what makes any relationship work. But talk is easy, make sure he is actually able to behave the way you are thinking about relationships. this takes time.
Third, it's great you are a romantic. You are young and you have time to develop a life long commitment. You sound as if you will make it either with him or somebody else.
When talking to your bf, approach the conversation in an open and non-judgmental way. Explain to him what happened and how you're feeling. Let him know that you understand that your ex is allowed to express his feelings about the relationship, but you're still figuring out how you feel about it.
It's just as important to be clear about the nature of your relationship with your ex and to EMPHASIZE that you are committed to your current relationship with bf. Let him know that your priority is to make sure your relationship is not affected by your interactions with your ex.
When having the conversation, listen to your partner's thoughts and feelings as well. This can help you to understand his perspective and address any concerns he may have.
I would say this is definitely why. She puts other women down and claims it’s a joke but there’s very likely a not so pleasant intention behind it. Whether it’s insecurity or arrogance or just meanness for the sake of it, the exact cause is irrelevant. In your place I would back off a bit and start seeing her less often.
Also think about how you feel just after you’ve been hanging out with her. If you feel drained, or flat, or less confident, less energised, less secure, then she is one of those people who are toxic. In that case you can decide she’s a friend you want to go on seeing in small doses, or someone you just want to quietly drift away from.
Those constant jabs about someone else’s appearance are never just a joke.
Like I said, he's done nothing wrong; we just need and want different things, so I want to make this as painless as possible.
Thank you and take care!
if that ain’t the pot calling the kettle black… he’s a hypocrite and you should absolutely NOT stay together. you’re both 21 move on now
He seems to be playing stupid games. I’d drop him.
He seems to be playing stupid games. I’d drop him.
So you;
Got upset thay he didn't care about your makeup
Did not communicate anything about it at all
Hid in your room
Then you had a mystery conflict that you oh-so-conveniently don't go into any detail about, one that leads to him driving 75 miles (so an hour or more) away. You know he wants space and he specifically said he needs to be alone, yet you text him hours later, and ask him for something.
I just want to fix things, and staying silent with each other doesn't seem to be fixing anything
No, staying silent is what is needed. YOUR ACTIONS aren't fixing anything.
Am I being difficult for wanting resolution?
You are actively driving him away
No, I appreciated your comment
Not LGBT….but I think it's obvious that this relationship will not work out. Sex is supposed to be mutually benefitting, if it isn't, then you must evaluate whether or not this relationship fulfills ALL of your needs.
Honestly, let him go. DUde is confused and would not surprise me if he's gay.
He’s enmeshed and doesn’t understand that he actually has the power here. Therapy is very helpful for this sort of boundary setting and enforcement.
Yes, she’s his mom. But the price of admission for her to be in his life can (and should) be that she respect his boundaries and treat him respectfully.
This may mean that he has to go low to no contact for awhile—especially if she throws a fit.
Example:
Her: I need you to come by on Saturday at noon to mow the lawn and fix the sliding door.
Him: I’m sorry mom, I’m working then. I can come on Sunday at 4 or do it next weekend.
Her: I need you here at noon. I’m your mother. I can’t believe you’re being so selfish. I gave you everything!
Him: Mom, I gave you an option. If that doesn’t work for you, I suppose you’ll need to hire help. I told you I’m not available and I don’t appreciate the guilt trip. Gotta go, bye!
And then he needs to grey rock her and not take her calls or texts—she’ll blow up his phone and escalate and probably send some nasty messages.
If so, he can reply once: I don’t appreciate the abusive messages. When you can speak to me respectfully, we can talk. Until then, I’m not interested in having a conversation with you.
Same if he just says no! No is a complete sentence! It’s hard for a people pleaser to do but sometimes it needs to be done.
Maybe even doing some role playing with him that represents the common situations so he can practice saying no or communicating his schedule with you so it’s more “natural” for him.
Mmmmmmm
This sounds like some weird racist kink to me
You’re better because you have lighter colored skin??? Are you hearing what you wrote out?
Once you've tested negative for a while and have been in a relationship for a while you don't really need a list for stds.
THIS! I was with a douche nozzle that would scream at me, if I farted anywhere near him. Like I can’t control it if it happens randomly. I would also scream at me that I farted, when I know for a fact, I didn’t and he accused me of purposely farting in his face, which I would never do because that’s fucked up. Life is too damn short to be this fucking ridiculous. I’m the girl that can burp on purpose!
I think you need to sit down and make a plan that will work for both of you. Different meal requirements are tough but you can make it work when one of you is vegetarian/pescatarian.
I agree with you about saving money by not eating out, but its important to balance that with what can reasonably be done on a week night.
Here’s what I would suggest as a possible plan thats based on some strategies that work for me and my husband:
Once a week (we do it on Sunday) spend 20 minutes and do a dinner plan for the next week. Decide how many nights you will eat out. We usually do 2 nights. Decide what will be cooked the other nights.
Boyfriend should be responsible for cooking at least one dinner. Pasta, rice dishes, roasted dishes, pizzas, or burrito bar can all be done quickly and in a way that accommodates both of you. He can cook his meat and your protein separately and put it on top of the base of his choice. We did this growing up because I was the lone vegetarian. Roasting proteins at the same time on separate baking sheets is also a possibility.
He can either eat what you make or get over “not wanting you to cook meat.” If you’re okay with doing it then he needs to accept that. I use tongs so I don’t have to touch raw meat.
Whoever does not cook does the dishes. Get used to leftovers! You don’t have to cook or order out EVERY night. Most recipes are for 4 or even 6 servings. You can cut the nights you cook in half by eating the leftovers another night.
If a recipe is really easy, you can double it and put half in the freezer to make another week even easier! Chili and lasagna are good for this and both can be made deliciously vegetarian.
Are you serious? Your gf is an adult. It is her responsibility to get herself up. You can try to help her as a kindness but she is the one responsible for her own schedule and health.
She clearly needs to see a doctor and that's not on you to drag her to one. It seriously sounds like she has a condition that needs medical intervention. It could be a deficiency, it could be apnea, it could be thyroid problems. It could be any number of issues. If she can't hold down a job because she can't get up and you can't wake her up and clearly, she can't even think straight if she is blaming you for her not getting up – something needs to happen.
Why isn't he your ex? Raise your standards hun!!! Love is powerful but at some point you have to find the little soul he hasn't snatched out of you to crawl out from under his issues and be free. Save yourself. Your further self is begging, hence your need to post. Good luck.
Ok thanks. Should I say a specific date and time?
Thank you! Well said. Some of these commenters are being willfully obtuse.
Apologies mean NOTHING without a change. Please look out for yourself.
In my circle of friends, it is normal for women to make comments like that to each other – “you're so hard,” things like that. Bi or straight, as a way of complimenting their friends and to lift them up.
I was honestly under the impression this was commonplace, but maybe not.
If you're uncomfortable with it, tell her. Tell her your POV. This takes communication.
So I am going to assume she isn't looking for a secret reddit account but came across a post with similarities.
You may have to write her a letter saying clearly that you have never posted anything on reddit or had a secret account, but since you cannot prove a negative then what does she suggest you do? If she wants to talk to X and your co worker is up for it then offer that as well, including coworkers other half if necessary.
You could also dm the account and see if they will dm your wife with something clearly that isn't you, say when you are actually with her. It might work.
Ask her if she is okay because some people get pre partum issues with mental health and clearly she was convinced it was you on only the barest of similarities.
Focus on therapy and learning to happy in your own skin and not so dependant on the next relationship
Your boyfriend is clearly too immature to be having sex. Dump his dumb ass.
Do not have sex with a guy who is this boneheaded.
In fact, i would trash the whole man…. But that is up to OP.
I think you’re right, and I shouldn’t.
I don’t think she ever will reach out to me unfortunately, but hopefully I’m wrong.
I can’t believe that there isn’t a way of reaching out that won’t be creepy though?
Nope. If GF rather sleeps with her pet than you, something is wrong with you or the current arrangement.
I mean yeah of course he’s upset, you caught him cheating on you yet again.
Is this really how you want your life to go? This is your dream life right now, with someone that you have to beg to be faithful to you? You deserve so much better than this.
So what I'm getting is that you told him “hey btw I'm not really okay with dating other people anymore so I'm going to go back to only dating you” and expected him to just magically do the same without you needing to tell him?
Y'all should go see a couples therapist so you can learn how to communicate properly.
So what I'm getting is that you told him “hey btw I'm not really okay with dating other people anymore so I'm going to go back to only dating you” and expected him to just magically do the same without you needing to tell him?
Y'all should go see a couples therapist so you can learn how to communicate properly.
The ye way I see it you weren’t meant to have a baby with your STBX but you are meant to be a mom. You need to think about how much you want a baby and keep her no matter what anyone else says. The baby seems to have a loving father who wants to be in her life. It seems to me your STBX is only pressing you to get rid of the baby because he doesn’t have one so why should you. As soon as you say I am not having her he will walk away! Don’t let him control your life anymore.
I’m angry because he hid the friendship from me and then lied about it. I found out by accident.
I feel like we need details. How did he hide it and then lie about it and how did you find out by accident?
You are feeling insecure because of the weight gain but supermodels and famous actresses and singers have been cheated on. At this point you don't have to tell him not to do anything. You tell him “I'm not going to tell you what to do here. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who hides things from me and lies. So you need to figure yourself out because I need to trust my partner.” Then, start going to the gym or doing your home workouts or whatever it is you need to do to pump your body full of endorphins because feeling better starts with taking care of yourself. Also, it should help you in trusting yourself. You know on a physical level that what is going on isn't right and you don't trust yourself and it almost sounds a little like you think maybe you deserve the anxiety and insecurity because you gained weight. You should cut that out.
Way too fast. Be careful. Watch out for red flags. The likelihood that this is really a fairytale romance is abysmal.
So I took the initiative of asking her for more info ( as I hate to sound manipulative), she indicated the whole essence of this act is to fight addictions, and she is addictive to food and intimacy. I should also indicate that we are meant to meet today, after not meeting for 2 weeks. I am not bothered by the desire not to have sex, but she only informed me on Wednesday.
Why do I do this to myself? I know I am going to get downvoted to hell but I was 22 once.
Listen, he’s being a little immature (nothing dealbreaker level) and a little insecure.
Next time he brings up the ONS say something like “I don’t know if you are feeling threatened at all but you shouldn’t. You’re better looking, your dick is bigger and you don’t smell like beer and weed. Besides, if I wanted (George) I’d be at HIS place now wondering when HE was going to finally put the moves on me tonight.”
Now before you redditors get all righteous about stroking the male ego know I would give similar advice if the SO in question was a woman, or a trans person, or a freaking potato. Everybody who isn’t an asshole deserves and occasional ego stroke when they are feeling insecure.
Just stop washing your ass for a couple weeks and then ask him to go down on you, he'll get the message.
he seem like the jealous type. i actually empathize with him … even though i think it is a bit much. but at least he knows his flaws. it seem to me that you have to ask yourself whether going to bars is a deal breaker to you. also, it is more than likely that the jealousy thing will pop up again the future.
you know, he could simply hates going to bar and used the worse excuse for it ever. but i digress.
you can try to ease him into the bar scene. like go to bars in groups, etc. and you shouldn’t get wasted the first time you are out with him to a bar.
A few things here.
1) you're trying hard to salvage and build a relationship, but that's really hot, I'd say impossible, if you aren't both working on it. This seems rather one sided.
2) the word “sensitive” can mean a couple of things. Either she's manipulative and immature. She's going to cry and you're too immature to handle it, possibly you have a severe fear of conflict. Or some combination/variation of the two where neither of you are emotionally capable of a sincere conversation for a variety of reason.
When she says, “Cool. I'll invite so and so…” that is quite literally your window to say, “That's cool, but I can't foot the bill for them…”
If she throws a fit, then she IS NOT SENSITIVE she is, at best, a brat.
The advice is simple to give and probably a little harder to take, set a boundary, and stick to it. Make your feelings known and have a full conversation if needed.
The only people who are upset by your boundaries are the people who benefit from you having none.
Probably a long distance relationship isn't the best thing for you. Why don't you re-think this and set yourself up for a nice strong day-to-day relationship with a future.
Don’t treat her like a flesh light. You’re going to turn yourself into his biggest turn off.
Comparison is the enemy of happiness. Stop it.
Your poor husband…
Comparison is the enemy of happiness. Stop it.
Why are you living with a immature, cruel jerk?
Why are you living with a immature, cruel jerk?
Record EVERYTHING. Put in writing to him that you are not interested. Don't go back to your place and do what is necessary to make sure you aren't followed. Ask your teachers if you can do live if it's possible to lesson opportunities for him to find you in person. Are there students in your class that seem approachable? If someone came up to me and told me they were scared of another student and they just wanted other people to know what is going on, I would be getting everyone I knew to join in and help keep this guy under watch and away from you. Just having more people aware of the situation can be helpful. The more people know, the harder it will be for this kid to be protected from consequences and intervention.
Since when is smoking pot alternative. I am Canadian and everyone does it.
Except she doesn't do any of that. She wants him to do everything while she does nothing.
Wow, you really believe her over GPS? And not only do you think that GPS made a mistake, but it somehow coincidentally picked her coworker's house? You can't be that clueless.
Tbh it you come across as jealous, judgmental and controlling.
If you were a real friend you'd be coming at this with the perspective of 'I love you and want you to be happy, so it makes men sad when guys treat you badly. I hope you find the right guy soon.'
Not sure how who she has sex with is an issue that would damage your friendship.
would you pay $15 for something you don't use or will only use 4-5 times?
I understand what you're saying. I know that'd probably suck to constantly have to see her upset. It'd also be pretty irritating. The fact that she keeps repeating the cycle over and over again. Despite you and probably a few other people warning her not to. And then dumps her emotions on you and acts like she never could've seen it coming. It's an extremely unhealthy pattern. The dating and the dumping of emotions.
She's a grown woman. She can do whatever she wants. That being said, you don't have to stick around to watch the crash.
Wait, she ruined his relationship with his friend because his friend cheated on her? The mental gymnastics! Just say you’re insecure.
Wait, she ruined his relationship with his friend because his friend cheated on her? The mental gymnastics! Just say you’re insecure.
Weve seen this story before.. next time get more creative
She’s not your girlfriend. She was also drinking. Her kissing this random dude- or being kissed by surprise by this random dude. You’re acting like she cheated on you when you have no relationship claim to her.
She has had years to process this and just sit with the knowledge. You’ve had 3 weeks. Let her know you need some times to wrap your head around it and digest it because for you, it happened right when she told you, not 6 years ago. You need time. You love her? Can you accept this? Can you move forward? Then do it, process and go forward. If you can’t, do the same thing and accept the loss, and start moving past the part of your life you share with her.
Saves you much more trouble later on my guy. Plenty of girls you'll like who align much better with your idea of exclusivity!
I just feel this feels more like an affair/relationship than a sexy threesome idea
Because it is.
This was sexual without you involved in any way or even knowing that it was happening.
The level of involvement for everyone except Ashley and your wife keeps fluctuating.
By your wife's own telling, it was her idea to not have you involved initially (cheating, in my mind.)
Every time you grudgingly agree to make something that she proposes ok or not considered cheating, sometimes retroactively, she moves those goalposts further away from you.
At this point, even if you did say that she could do something with Ashley, which you absolutely should not do, you couldn't trust that Ashley's husband wouldn't be involved, because everyone except you is pushing for that all of a sudden. And because everything about this continues to occur behind your back
How many times are you going to try to kick this football, Charlie Brown? You don't even want to play this sport.
Oy. Much luck to your kid. It’s gonna need it.
This is probably why her Mom is trying to convince her to get an abortion. So she won't be stuck with him for life when he starts smacking her around.
Bro as someone who stayed after wife’s affair, may I beg you to take some advice and LEAVE! Don’t walk, RUN away from this relationship. My wife’s affair was over 8 years ago and it still bothers me to this day! I can’t ever fully trust her again and am suspicious of her relationship with every single guy that comes into her life.
Looking back, here’s some things I realized that could relate; I had asked, then told, then begged her to completely block the dude at the time. She refused for a long long time, continuing to text/talk with him even after I knew about things but she and I were “working on us.” I realized later that she had really completely checked out and was just putting me off while she did whatever she wanted. Her main reason? “He’s just a friend.” (She never did fully admit to an affair because all my evidence was circumstantial. By circumstantial I mean if you walked into a room with a body and she was holding the dripping knife. Didn’t see her stab him, but you know what happened.) By her refusing to cut him off, she was choosing him over me.
My point is, this is probably just the tip of your iceberg. IF she hasn’t already slept with him for real, she would have soon and might still. You can’t watch her 24/7 can you? And what’s more, would you want to? Trust me, living feeling like you have to be suspicious of every single action your WIFE takes isn’t fun and at that point, she’s not really YOUR wife anymore. She’s just a girl you gave some jewelry to, doing what she wants and with whoever she wants. Vows be damned.
Do yourself a favor. It’s been less than a year so get an annulment (should be possible) and make it as clean a cut as you can. Don’t talk it out. Don’t stay friends. As long as there’s no kids, there’s no reason to stay in touch whatsoever! You’ll heal faster this way. Also, don’t be petty in the breakup. It just makes it unnecessarily messy and prolonged. She hurt you, tried to blame you for it, and is trying to justify keeping this dude around. Let her, she can have him and you can move on to be happy elsewhere.
I stayed (for reasons) and yes, she eventually blocked the other guy completely. We don’t fight and I’m happy enough. But it haunts me to this day and probably will forever. It changed the person I am into someone more cynical and less caring. I can’t help but think that, even with KIDS and how much harder it would’ve been, maybe I should’ve let my wife leave when she wanted to.
Do yourself a favor and bail while you can. Now while it’s a cheap/easy/clean as it can possibly get.
Not even jokingly.
I am speaking as someone whose husband is just coming out of some serious health issues with a couple of hospitalizations and long term at home care. I know what I am talking about so you should listen:
Granddad coming home from the hospital after a stroke is most decidedly NOT the right time to meet your girlfriend. I get that you are young and so you have been insulated from the stress and anxiety and your mom and grandmother (and other family members) have been going through. They probably aren't sleeping well. They aren't eating right. Their nerves are frayed beyond what you can imagine. They are physically, mentally and (most importantly) emotionally exhausted.
Your mother is processing the reality that her dad is getting older. Your grandmother is confronting the reality that she may have to live without him. This is what is happening around you behind the scenes and behind the smiles and behind the 'we are so happy he is homes'.
And your grandfather? He is busy confronting his mortality and his worry about everyone else.
Wait at least 6 weeks to let everyone get their feet back underneath them before introducing someone new. Please. For the love all that is holy……wait.
Yea I agree I’m gonna break up with her tn
ITT: not understanding the difference between honesty and tact
Dude sounds like an asshole. 3 months? I’d dip.
Sorry but i would.. we never have this kind of chances and it is already paid for. His dad car can take weeks tk get fixed and we don't have privacy since i left my mom's place. That was literally a year ago
I know everyone is bringing up the “trapped issue but what about the part that he wants to sleep around and expects her to not do the same?! Like he wants an open relationship to cheat but literally trapping you in it.
Your wife has shown she doesn’t love you, has no respect for you and continually cheats on you. The “perfect life” you describe is a lie.
But the good news is you can leave her and find that perfect life with a woman who will actually love and respect you. You won’t find that with your current wife. Your kids deserve a happy father. Leave her man.
Therapy is expensive
But they weren't prevalent in their hometown in his experience. Put it this way. If I loved my family to a new town for a work opportunity and my family felt bullied and isolated in that area, we would leave, no job opportunity is worth your families mental health. None
& I bet you this isn’t the first negative reaction he’s given to her being hesitant or against kids. Maybe in subtle ways he’s manipulated her into not speaking up about not wanting kids.
Again. You don’t know when she discovered it. She even said to him she’s unsure. She’s doing what she’s supposed to do. Have an uncertainty, process her feelings, bring it to her partner. Now it’s for them to process and work through together. That’s how marriage works.
It wasn’t the cooking that made your home life toxic. It’s unfortunate you made that broken connection.
Your mom sabotaged you with her advice.
She chose an abusive man and a series of consequences happened.
If you chose a good guy then those consequences wouldn’t happen. But you also need to discuss the life you want and ensure it matches his. If he wants a wife that cooks and you don’t want that then it’s not a compatible lifestyle. Not to mention other issues you need to confirm.
Sounds almost like a mental break?
I think it is meant to read
“what does this guy jizz, truly or something?”
Ok. I'll almost give him “it was a joke” because sometimes people crack stupid, cruel jokes without meaning to hurt anyone's feelings, but it doesn't sound like he said he was sorry. And that's the only thing that could redeem him here. But he didn't and made your hurt feelings YOUR responsibility instead of owning up to what he did. Instead of making amends he tried to convince you that your pain is only due to you doing something wrong instead of him. If he won't change, I see two options here: leave him, or take advantage of every opportunity you get to mock HIS genitals until he leaves you. I suppose there's a third: stay with him, keep your mouth shut, and spend the next several years listening to him make fun of your vulva. None of them are great, but the first is the only option that allows you to keep your dignity.
You don’t bring it up lmao. It’s an absurd “renegotiation” of core values.
Whether folks want to admit it or not asking to be poly is akin to asking for a divorce.
It's still on us to try to work on it though. He's got to find strategies that work for him, be it writing things down, putting reminders in his phone, using one of the dozens of to-do list apps etc.
It's super difficult for people like us to just do things, I know that. I'm still working on it. But there is a difference between trying and fucking up and not even trying. OP's husband doesn't try.
100%.. I curse this shit at least three times a month, but as long as it’s worth it I’ll keep suffering, lol
Someone doesn't know as much about the American dental industry as they think they do btw denture crowns and bridges still count as artificial teeth
If his worse case scenario was getting someone pregnant behind his girlfriend’s back, then I’m not too sure why he’s going around having unprotected sex with other woman.
Rather than confront her, I would have a more general conversation. If you attack her friendship with this guy she’s just going to get defensive. Instead, talk about how you both should handle feelings for other people; would you want her to tell you if she has a crush on someone? Would she like to know if you do? At what point does it cross the line from harmless crush to desire to move forward with another relationship?
I have had small crushes on coworkers and my boyfriend knew about my “work husband” back when I was a server. That guy was the bartender and we got close and always helped each other out. There was nothing actually going on (kissing, hand holding, sex, etc.) we were both just flirty people who worked well together. I never in a million years would have considered leaving my boyfriend for this guy and I made that clear so my bf wasn’t jealous or anything.
But if I ever felt like I wanted to go on a date with someone else or I thought about someone seriously as a potential partner, that would be the time to sit down and talk with my bf.
All of this is personal preference. You may have just read that and gone “oh my god that is insane and I would have an aneurism if my gf did that.” So that’s why you and your gf need to have a heart to heart about this. Plus keep in mind that she’s your high school girlfriend and it may not last forever. It’s ok if you realize you want different things or have different values.
I am Christian what the fuck are you talking about??? We only say for sex outside of marriages in the marriage we say reproduce and prosper ????
Sounds like y’all were playing a game of chicken on who would initiate contact. It’s annoying how common this is. At the same time it also sounds like you tried a bit more than her initially and one week of no contact shouldn’t ruin a good thing in its early stages IMO.
After the words that have been exchanged i would say it’s best for you to just go your separate ways, buy just an outsider opinion.
Not possible. Interest rate is around 11%. She could put all her earnings toward the debt and would not be painting on the principal.
It's Psycho Pete returns, season 10, I think.
He seemed to have some substance abuse issues, some mental health problems that he refused to address, and they fought very frequently. She said the relationship had been over for months before she finally decided to pull the plug on it.
Um. No.
Say you’re in pain. Lol. You clearly aren’t great communicators this is such an easy thing to discuss
I would just exit the relationship, but honestly, I have never been into the clubbing scene and have no desire to be with someone who parties all night to the point of being drunk. Maybe it's because my best friend was killed on his 18th birthday from drinking and driving, or my dad being crippled by a drunk driver had jaded me to it.
Well she doesn't say the yes to no “mental gymnastics”.
No no. Don’t trust him, similar situation happened with my ex and he ended up raping me because I never wanted to, I always wanted to wait until I was married (personal reasons). And my ex said the SAMEEE exact thing “I could do it if I really wanted to” or some bs, it will lead to that if he has that mentality. Take it from someone that was in that exact situation, it will HIGHLY likely lead to that
I would just be honest with her about everything you wrote here. It is well thought out and your concerns are valid. It’s not what you say but how you say it. I think if you bring these things up calmly and respectfully it will be fine.
John, your GF's strong abandonment fear — as well as her abusive and controlling behaviors — may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no opportunity to acquire in childhood). My exW has this problem. If that is an issue for your GF, you likely have been seeing 3 other warning signs.
First, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes and mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to validate her “victim” status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the smallest, most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Second, you would not see her expressing her anger to casual friends, classmates, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her temper tantrums almost exclusively would be expressed against a close loved one (e.g., against you or her parents).
Third, you are convinced she truly loves you. But you often see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing you), frequently making you feel like you're “walking on eggshells.” Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do.
John, have you been seeing strong occurrences of these 3 red flags?
Sorry, but even if you are horny as shit, why do you let someone rub bleach on your penis?! Do you do every shit to get laid?
Get into sex therapy, dude.
^ This is the way.
Employment is a mutually exploitative relationship: your employer (or potential new employer) is trying to obtain your services for as low compensation as they can get away with; you are trying to do the minimum amount of work for the maximum compensation.
Employers are literally pitting candidates against each other every time the recruit – that's literally the purpose of the process – to find the best candidate. What they often forget is that workers are doing the same thing: pitting potential employers against each other for the best deal.
Lie to dad. Tell him you broke up with bf. Keep him in a very strict info diet. Once you're done with school, go no contact with dad.
Lie to dad. Tell him you broke up with bf. Keep him in a very strict info diet. Once you're done with school, go no contact with dad.
This is what’s known as the DENNIS system.