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Alotropp, 32 y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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It sounds like your ex has been attempting to use emotionally manipulative or abusive tactics on you, such as gaslighting and trying to paint himself as the victim even when he was in the wrong. If you feel like talking it out with mutual friends, I would encourage you to calmly explain the truth of what happened without getting defensive. Also remember that no matter what your ex is saying about you, always remember that your behavior was not wrong – it's okay to maintain boundaries by expressing a difference in opinion!
Now that you have voiced it is, you have set the boundary you are comfortable with. They should respect that if they wish to be your partner.
You guys were broken up for a year. OP, I'm not even sure what to say. You dumped him, for good reasons, it seems, and he went off and dated some other people but still wanted to be with you. If he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't be.
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It's valid genuinely. It was a one time thing and I won't have issues with it again.
I really appreciate your perspective. Oftentimes I pretty selfishly tend to focus so much on myself that my perspective becomes too self-important, if that makes any sense. Thinking of it like that makes it feel like a much more logical and much less 'terrible' thing to do. Thank you.
I was so baffled i had to turn away
She wants to cheat on you guilt-free especially since she doesn't want you to enjoy the same benefits. Dump her and find someone that actually loves you and respects you. You GF doesn't put you first you are an afterthought because this isn't any different than her wanting to sleep with a man you know why? She had this girl already picked out and if it was a man you would have flipped out on her but there is no difference in this situation. She wants a free pass to cheat. If you don't give her the free pass she will cheat or she already has and feels the guilt is too much. Either way dump her.
He will always keep stealing from you. He may even put credit cards in your name if you live! together. Or take out loans in your names. People like him who steals often betray their partner this way.
You will find you won’t just be $700 on debt, you’ll be in thousands of dollars in debt.
And do you really believe he was planning on paying you back before you notice? You really believe that lie? When he can’t even afford rent some months? Oh he’s somehow going to find $700 just lying around after paying for everything?
Which makes him a liar too.
He will always keep stealing from you. He may even put credit cards in your name if you live! together. Or take out loans in your names. People like him who steals often betray their partner this way.
You will find you won’t just be $700 on debt, you’ll be in thousands of dollars in debt.
And do you really believe he was planning on paying you back before you notice? You really believe that lie? When he can’t even afford rent some months? Oh he’s somehow going to find $700 just lying around after paying for everything?
Which makes him a liar too.
He will always keep stealing from you. He may even put credit cards in your name if you live together. Or take out loans in your names. People like him who steals often betray their partner this way.
You will find you won’t just be $700 on debt, you’ll be in thousands of dollars in debt.
And do you really believe he was planning on paying you back before you notice? You really believe that lie? When he can’t even afford rent some months? Oh he’s somehow going to find $700 just lying around after paying for everything?
Which makes him a liar too.
It’s clearly about keeping score and winning petty points over your SO. I regularly feel like only 10% of people here have actually been in a real relationship lol.
You showed him who you are. Mean and cruel are your baseline. It is his fault because he probably knew and understood who you were/are. His comment, or whatever the offence is, most likely unintentionally brought out the 'you” and what you are. He probably cares for you despite your cruelty and insecurity and is keeping this as a reminder so that when he wants to progress your relationship he can stop, look at the screenshot, think, and make a better decision for his future.
This is also unhealthy. You should end things. Find someone that is deserving of your insecurity, cruelty, and altogether toxic persona or work on these qualities you have as a single individual before heaping a load of s*** onto some unsuspecting person.
There are limits at work such that you can’t always entirely ignore a person. Your best bet to looking professional is to treat her like you would any vague acquaintance. Respond in meetings, do polite eye contact and small talk while waiting for the meeting to start if everyone else is, etc. You don’t have to be friends but you could easily look very out of step with professional norms if you’re acting like someone at the table isn’t there.