I'd just break up with her. It's likely that she's already been seeing another guy for her to say that. She just wants you to agree with it so she doesn't have to feel guilty about it. You may not want kids now but if you had them with her you probably wouldn't be 100% sure it's yours.
The reason is because she's got options from so many men and her ego cant handle saying no.
I'd definitely call that a red flag. To ask for that implies that you're not her #1 option. My gf said that same load of bs to me and our relationship was never the same after. She just wanted her cake and to eat it too.
Because she wouldn’t be able to move on and you definitely wouldn’t be moving on. Most people can’t move on and have a new functional healthy relationship if they’re still in regular contact with someone they love and were once in love with.
The friends I’ve brought into my kids’ lives have been incredible, strong, intelligent people. All people go through stuff and have had moments of instability but no one has ever harmed or even come close to harming them.
Unfortunately, a lot of images that come up are from people who want to sell plastic surgery, and I HATE that industry so much right now. Very few people naturally have ‘perfect breasts’ and not for very long, but we have been trained on enhanced artificial shapes.
Your feelings are normal and valid. It hurts to see her in so much pain and to know that she loves someone else deeply.
All that matters is how you treat her. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel, as long as you don’t project those feelings onto her. Continue to be supportive and talk about the feelings with a therapist or trusted friend.
I think she’s just stating that “tonight was a bag of dog poop” as in, it was shit. Unless I’m completely wrong or her grammar/punctuation is wrong, her title is saying that he throws stuff at her and tonight was shit, essentially. Either way the guys abusive but yeah…
You want more attention from your boyfriend, which I understand, but if he's not giving it to you don't let that stop you from trying to look your best for him. You're not gonna be rewarded every time you do something well in life, and you shouldn't expect your boyfriend to drool just because you randomly decided to doll yourself up. As a man, I'm telling you that he notices. Perhaps he's not reacting to your new look in the way that you want because you don't do it enough. There's an old saying: “Be consistent and be rewarded.” If you want to look good for your boyfriend, and especially if you know how he likes his women to look, then do so often.
pro lifers in my country (argentina) kidnapped a 12 yo kid that was pregnant due to her dad raping her so she wouldnt abort. saying pro lifers that think that abortion should not be legal when a woman is raped are monsters
Women like this are getting proposed to and then there is me … Polar opposite and mine would NEVER pop the question.
OP your future wife is as awful as her father. This could be the mother of your children, possibly a daughter. He could be their grandfather. HER grandfather. With everything you know about them both if none of that bothers you, you deserve to be married to someone like her. If it were me, id run.
Because he’s not an infant. He’s 20. Why would I think back to his baby yrs? I wasn’t crushing on him as an infant. That would be disgusting yes. But I met him when he’s 20 yrs old, not 20 months old. There’s no reason to think back to the past when it has nothing to do with now. Also why care since he is legal and happy? How is he being harmed? He chose me and chased me and can choose who he wants and understands what makes him happy. No one preyed on anyone lol. We just click and that’s it.
Personally, I get very unnerved if anyone is in my bed. It’s always been my personal boundary that I communicated to anyone that ever asked to sleep in it.
While I now share a bed with my partner, and my son climbs into it too, I would be very very uncomfortable with anyone else being in my bed – my family, his family, anyone’s friends or kids. But I make it clear, that as stupid as it may be, it’s important to me, and my partner would never invite anyone to sleep there.
This is a perspective that I don’t imagine many people have, and I’m not sure it applies in this case, but it exists and can be valid.
He doesn't respect you, because even if this BS story was true he would've told you as soon as he found out if he did respect you. You're not overreacting to be pissed by this and to breakup – seems like the right decision to me here. But, if you want to attempt to work things out your boyfriend is going to have to make some changes. No more work trips with this boss, trying to get a new job/role away from that boss, counseling, whatever will help for you and your relationship.
Seriously do you realize how stupid all of that mess is and how a little bit of common sense could have prevented all of that.
If you get rejected then you stop talking to the person
You don't stay friends with someone because you hope they change their mind about dating you
You don't stay in a relation that goes only one way
You don't demand something from your friend.
You don't expect someone to care about your feelings, if she doesn't care about your feeling then too bad she doesn't care and won't care and you can't force her to care.
Did you even read your own post, can't you see how it is just a complete stupid mess.
Just cut her off, learn from this and reflect on yourself for allowing such nonsense from happening.
People’s reactions can differ, but I would say most would reach out if they felt guilty. Her lack of reaching out when she’s clearly in the wrong seems indicative that either this has been going on for a while, or she really just doesn’t give a fuck. I’d be curious to know more details about her and her sisters relationship prior to this happening.
Being intelligent is great, but letting it get to your head cancels out any kudos.
My nephew is very intelligent, he gets top marks in everything without revising at all. He's now a junior lecturer at uni, and acts the lecturer all the time. He speaks with authority, and there's just enough that's correct in what he says for everyone to be impressed. He corrects people in a very disparaging way too.
Yet the other night, he was pontificating at the dinner table, I called him out on three different occasions, three different topics, and each time he acted all patronising. Well I knew what I was talking about, a quick google confirmed that I was right on all three occasions.
My partner was boasting proudly about how intelligent his nephew is, and I reminded him that I'd corrected him three times in fewer hours. I pointed out that that meant I was even more intelligent, so he should really be boasting about how intelligent his partner is. But somehow, the myth lives on. Probably because I'm an introvert and I don't hog the conversation, I prefer to ask questions and let others do the talking.
Wow your asking way to much of him if it was me I would have been done right then and there with your parents the fact that you want him to pretend that it is ok and not get them to apologize is totally insane.
This is why you shouldn't have married someone so young. He's super immature and insecure, to the point he's trying to shame you for having some carpentry skills.
Hi ya OP. I'm going to ask you to read over your own post again. You essentially answer your own question. My suggestion is to simply leave it and move on with your life. Clearly your priorities are different. For whats its worth Good luck out there and stay safe.
I don't think you should talk to him about it again. It's been two years. He's not over her. If he's not over her, he's not 100% in a relationship with you. I'm not saying you two can't be together, just that some time apart may give him the cushion to get over his ex. Did he jump straight from that relationship to you? Did he have any time to process it?
Tf. If you are so private you don't even want to tell your workplace you're married, you should not be in a relationship with anyone.
It's one thing not to tell work you're in a relationship, but anyone can look up a marriage certificate. It's not in any way private. And it's shady AF.
I'd just break up with her. It's likely that she's already been seeing another guy for her to say that. She just wants you to agree with it so she doesn't have to feel guilty about it. You may not want kids now but if you had them with her you probably wouldn't be 100% sure it's yours.
The reason is because she's got options from so many men and her ego cant handle saying no.
I'd definitely call that a red flag. To ask for that implies that you're not her #1 option. My gf said that same load of bs to me and our relationship was never the same after. She just wanted her cake and to eat it too.
What is your home environment like?
What is their bedroom situation? How much have you welcomed them into this home and to you as a new Stepmother?
I'm just a reddit stranger but I do know that kids are intuitive and can sense when they are not welcomed/wanted.
Are there lots of arguments or is your house very peaceful?
Because she wouldn’t be able to move on and you definitely wouldn’t be moving on. Most people can’t move on and have a new functional healthy relationship if they’re still in regular contact with someone they love and were once in love with.
The friends I’ve brought into my kids’ lives have been incredible, strong, intelligent people. All people go through stuff and have had moments of instability but no one has ever harmed or even come close to harming them.
Some people are just like this.
My son is 19
Unfortunately, a lot of images that come up are from people who want to sell plastic surgery, and I HATE that industry so much right now. Very few people naturally have ‘perfect breasts’ and not for very long, but we have been trained on enhanced artificial shapes.
Your feelings are normal and valid. It hurts to see her in so much pain and to know that she loves someone else deeply.
All that matters is how you treat her. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel, as long as you don’t project those feelings onto her. Continue to be supportive and talk about the feelings with a therapist or trusted friend.
I think she’s just stating that “tonight was a bag of dog poop” as in, it was shit. Unless I’m completely wrong or her grammar/punctuation is wrong, her title is saying that he throws stuff at her and tonight was shit, essentially. Either way the guys abusive but yeah…
You want more attention from your boyfriend, which I understand, but if he's not giving it to you don't let that stop you from trying to look your best for him. You're not gonna be rewarded every time you do something well in life, and you shouldn't expect your boyfriend to drool just because you randomly decided to doll yourself up. As a man, I'm telling you that he notices. Perhaps he's not reacting to your new look in the way that you want because you don't do it enough. There's an old saying: “Be consistent and be rewarded.” If you want to look good for your boyfriend, and especially if you know how he likes his women to look, then do so often.
Lol bonkers take here
pro lifers in my country (argentina) kidnapped a 12 yo kid that was pregnant due to her dad raping her so she wouldnt abort. saying pro lifers that think that abortion should not be legal when a woman is raped are monsters
Yes, you should reach out to him any way that you can
Women like this are getting proposed to and then there is me … Polar opposite and mine would NEVER pop the question.
OP your future wife is as awful as her father. This could be the mother of your children, possibly a daughter. He could be their grandfather. HER grandfather. With everything you know about them both if none of that bothers you, you deserve to be married to someone like her. If it were me, id run.
Because he’s not an infant. He’s 20. Why would I think back to his baby yrs? I wasn’t crushing on him as an infant. That would be disgusting yes. But I met him when he’s 20 yrs old, not 20 months old. There’s no reason to think back to the past when it has nothing to do with now. Also why care since he is legal and happy? How is he being harmed? He chose me and chased me and can choose who he wants and understands what makes him happy. No one preyed on anyone lol. We just click and that’s it.
Personally, I get very unnerved if anyone is in my bed. It’s always been my personal boundary that I communicated to anyone that ever asked to sleep in it.
While I now share a bed with my partner, and my son climbs into it too, I would be very very uncomfortable with anyone else being in my bed – my family, his family, anyone’s friends or kids. But I make it clear, that as stupid as it may be, it’s important to me, and my partner would never invite anyone to sleep there.
This is a perspective that I don’t imagine many people have, and I’m not sure it applies in this case, but it exists and can be valid.
He doesn't respect you, because even if this BS story was true he would've told you as soon as he found out if he did respect you. You're not overreacting to be pissed by this and to breakup – seems like the right decision to me here. But, if you want to attempt to work things out your boyfriend is going to have to make some changes. No more work trips with this boss, trying to get a new job/role away from that boss, counseling, whatever will help for you and your relationship.
The fuck are you doing with your life?
Seriously do you realize how stupid all of that mess is and how a little bit of common sense could have prevented all of that.
If you get rejected then you stop talking to the person
You don't stay friends with someone because you hope they change their mind about dating you
You don't stay in a relation that goes only one way
You don't demand something from your friend.
You don't expect someone to care about your feelings, if she doesn't care about your feeling then too bad she doesn't care and won't care and you can't force her to care.
Did you even read your own post, can't you see how it is just a complete stupid mess.
Just cut her off, learn from this and reflect on yourself for allowing such nonsense from happening.
thats like 75% of the porn out there
I know man “those people” that is a horrible horrible look but I am going to hold out a little hope that he wasn’t trying to make it a race thing.
❤️
I live far away but I love red wine and am clumsy as fck. ?
People’s reactions can differ, but I would say most would reach out if they felt guilty. Her lack of reaching out when she’s clearly in the wrong seems indicative that either this has been going on for a while, or she really just doesn’t give a fuck. I’d be curious to know more details about her and her sisters relationship prior to this happening.
yeah at this point this is plain mansplaining.
Being intelligent is great, but letting it get to your head cancels out any kudos.
My nephew is very intelligent, he gets top marks in everything without revising at all. He's now a junior lecturer at uni, and acts the lecturer all the time. He speaks with authority, and there's just enough that's correct in what he says for everyone to be impressed. He corrects people in a very disparaging way too.
Yet the other night, he was pontificating at the dinner table, I called him out on three different occasions, three different topics, and each time he acted all patronising. Well I knew what I was talking about, a quick google confirmed that I was right on all three occasions.
My partner was boasting proudly about how intelligent his nephew is, and I reminded him that I'd corrected him three times in fewer hours. I pointed out that that meant I was even more intelligent, so he should really be boasting about how intelligent his partner is. But somehow, the myth lives on. Probably because I'm an introvert and I don't hog the conversation, I prefer to ask questions and let others do the talking.
Why aren't you just breaking up?
Leave him.
Wow your asking way to much of him if it was me I would have been done right then and there with your parents the fact that you want him to pretend that it is ok and not get them to apologize is totally insane.
This is why you shouldn't have married someone so young. He's super immature and insecure, to the point he's trying to shame you for having some carpentry skills.
Hi ya OP. I'm going to ask you to read over your own post again. You essentially answer your own question. My suggestion is to simply leave it and move on with your life. Clearly your priorities are different. For whats its worth Good luck out there and stay safe.
You also don't cheat on your partner, but somehow you missed the memo.
I don't think you should talk to him about it again. It's been two years. He's not over her. If he's not over her, he's not 100% in a relationship with you. I'm not saying you two can't be together, just that some time apart may give him the cushion to get over his ex. Did he jump straight from that relationship to you? Did he have any time to process it?
Tf. If you are so private you don't even want to tell your workplace you're married, you should not be in a relationship with anyone.
It's one thing not to tell work you're in a relationship, but anyone can look up a marriage certificate. It's not in any way private. And it's shady AF.
She says that she is embarrassed to go. I mentioned in a another comment why does she think she has it.