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Date: October 24, 2022
If he isn’t physically cheating on you yet he will be soon. I’m a guy and I can tell you he is at least having mental affairs. And he lies to you. Don’t waste any more time on this guy and definitely do not move in with him that would be a huge mistake. Have self respect and dump him.
Hi – our family has been in a similar position which is why I’m attempting this answer . Your problem is not going to go away unless you address it . When the original fight happened and your wife took her stance you and perhaps your parents thought it’s a small bump which will vanish away when her mood improves – give it time etc etc … what you may not have realized is that stance / decision / safe space / boundary was set in place because she had had enough . She is owed an apology and the faster your parents can see that , the better it is for your family . You are also to blame for 2 things : not having the courage to stand with your wife and wavering between your parents and her . This is unfortunately not going to go away in any which way you see fit partly because you ( & your kids) are not the ones who drew the boundaries .
The best you can do is sit both of them in the same room and put forward the way their relationship and lack thereof has affected you and the kids . The ultimatum you can give them is that if they don’t resolve / apologize etc you will cease to have a relationship with both of them .
They need to work it out , they need to resolve it .
I had a friend read through my post wondering and she kind of said the same thing. I am giving few details which makes it hard to understand. I think part of me wants to shield all of it because deep down I know it should have never gone this far. At one point the counselor said to me that sometimes a person has put up with so much that they are just broken. That's where I think I am. But I don't want to hurt him. There are so many things I could list off about where things have gone wrong but I was trying to get away from it all. I am so emotionally drained that I think that is why it comes off cold
Yw!
It will be easier to write all of this down so you can give clear communication. That she understands you love her.. It’s seems you are in a dark place right now and repressing your emotions on her behalf won’t help. She needs to know that it isn’t that her fault your feeling this way or acting this way towards her. You have your own battles.
So write down however you feel and either read it out to her or give it for her to read in private. It doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship at all.