32 thoughts on “Aila-sun on-line webcams for YOU!”
That’s what I’m afraid of 🙁 but I care about him a lot, he’s matured a lot since we first started dating, I’m hoping us living together will make him step up more
You are the whole problem! Your negative intrusive thoughts are something you’re going to address or let consume you. Period. Your gf doesn’t own you anything for the past treatment you received. No one does! Suffering at one point in time doesn’t earn you anything. It’s just what we ALL go through. Rejections, bullying, heartaches… all part of the collective coming of age experience! If all you can think about is how only you have suffered, tainting your present to force accountability for your past on others, you will find ALL interpersonal relationships becoming very difficult to maintain.
I can promise you that having a cervix drop down onto you by a partner who doesn't realize that it's going to happen and strikes like a hammer is many things, but blissful is not on the list. I thought it broke me.
I don't think you're a terrible person for tis and I think it's ironic you are getting slated in the comments for being unkind and lacking compassion given their comments are lacking kindness and compassion.
These people have probably never been around people with severe mental health issues; it is exhausting. I'm a mental health support worker; it takes a lot of energy and strength and I get to go home at night and rest from it. it's not 24/7 , i'm not enotionally involved and it doesn't have the same impact on my life like a relationship will.
The relality is people don't change (at least not long-term) unless they want. begging, goading, encouraging, guilt, shaming etc will only go so far (not that i'm saying guilt and shame are good ways, but some people do hange a bit as a result).. People will not make long lasting change unless they want to.
Relationships are meant to be equal. That doens't mean it's going to be equal all the time (it's going to flucuate depending on the need) but when it's 5 years of one person being dependant on another, that is not a healthy relationship.. Should you be supportive, kind, compromising, senseitive to a partner with mental health issues? of course. But that doesn't mean you should be trapped in a situation which isn'y going to get better.
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I did suggest this to him also, but he said when he talked to his workplace they didn’t agree, since she was very drunk too and they both decided to drink together / go back to hers. He also personally feels it wasn’t as he had an erection the whole time and knew he could of stopped things at any point (if he had said no it would have ended immediately). But it took him a while to do so (after she gave him oral and they were partway through sex). Then he apparently realised it was wrong and stopped it / left? But I have heard having an erection could be out of fear too? Although someone else said if he was super drunk it’s unlikely he’d be able to sustain it? ?
That’s unfortunate. She’s been waiting for you a long time. She’s ready to have a partner that is active in the relationship and you are not ready to be. You aren’t in a position to be in an equal loving relationship. I think it’d actually be kinder to break up with her.
Ask her close friends or sisters if she has them. Honestly, if she's that picky maybe let her choose the ring? She has to wear it forever and the surprise isn't as important to some people.
Well he does that to me all the time too and if what you mean is I shouldn’t talk to him when he’s on screen then it means there would be no talk between us because he’s on screen all the time or else it’s me who’s on the screen.
Of course it’s awkward and she has every right to feel weird, but I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker. Maybe after she has some time to process, things will get better.
To him, I’ll know if he isn’t actually mad because he’ll just end up talking to me like normal. He said he’d ask me why I wasn’t talking to him, and I’d just say oh i thought you were mad at me. Then if he is mad, he’ll probably ignore me and act cold for a bit. But after he gets his space, he really will circle back to the issue and explain himself once he’s got time to cool down and get over it. I guess the part that bothers me is that in that span of time, could be a few minutes or hours, and if I’m particularly sensitive that time of the month, I might have already cried my eyes out. After that fight though, I’m now kind of terrified whenever I mention or allude to him maybe being mad, sometimes it slips my mind when I’m normally talking and I get anxious because he told me not to ask him that. But he doesn’t get mad at that though in normal conversation, just if he actually is mad.
I think you are right. When I heard them say that I was frozen and couldn't say anything else but say “I didn't know” but I think that wasn't a strong enough reaction to set boundaries. I am Swedish so it's a bit difficult for me to be confrontational on the spot but I will work on it
It’s reasonable for him to change his mind when he sees another couple get pregnant while only using bc and not condoms. It’s not saying he doesn’t trust you, it’s saying he doesn’t trust the contraceptives, which he just saw fail.
Honestly, let him go. No one is going to fill those shoes. That’s why these men are on YouTube preaching bullshit because REAL relationships don’t work like that. Let him try and find someone. 9/10, he will go for some young girl who will grow out of him and he will keep repeating the cycle. No grown woman with a lick of sense would accept this sexist behavior.
Good luck OP. You will come out the other side of this a much stronger and eventually happier person even if it may not feel like it right now. Hugs to you.
My baby grew up, dated an abusive guy, and he (then ex-bf) murdered her when she was 18. So even though I left her dad when she was a baby, I was forced to allow him visitation with her, and she (my daughter) paid the price for who he was/is. It's…no words.
That’s what I’m afraid of 🙁 but I care about him a lot, he’s matured a lot since we first started dating, I’m hoping us living together will make him step up more
your ex wife sounds like a turd. no child should be told this wtf is wrong with your ex wife. she obviously doesnt love your son
Really we don’t know either way but since we don’t know, I removed that part of my post. My point was to get tested and not about her identity.
Oh snap. Was that last paragraph there the whole time?! When I read it, it stopped at “do men really think like this?”
That last paragraph changes everything.
You are the whole problem! Your negative intrusive thoughts are something you’re going to address or let consume you. Period. Your gf doesn’t own you anything for the past treatment you received. No one does! Suffering at one point in time doesn’t earn you anything. It’s just what we ALL go through. Rejections, bullying, heartaches… all part of the collective coming of age experience! If all you can think about is how only you have suffered, tainting your present to force accountability for your past on others, you will find ALL interpersonal relationships becoming very difficult to maintain.
I can promise you that having a cervix drop down onto you by a partner who doesn't realize that it's going to happen and strikes like a hammer is many things, but blissful is not on the list. I thought it broke me.
i find it interesting that here all you are talking about is how you feel about the situation
but what of the future child? they may think it is “ick or gross” and not funny at all
not to mention any of the other things they will certainly feel/think about/have to deal with
I don't think you're a terrible person for tis and I think it's ironic you are getting slated in the comments for being unkind and lacking compassion given their comments are lacking kindness and compassion.
These people have probably never been around people with severe mental health issues; it is exhausting. I'm a mental health support worker; it takes a lot of energy and strength and I get to go home at night and rest from it. it's not 24/7 , i'm not enotionally involved and it doesn't have the same impact on my life like a relationship will.
The relality is people don't change (at least not long-term) unless they want. begging, goading, encouraging, guilt, shaming etc will only go so far (not that i'm saying guilt and shame are good ways, but some people do hange a bit as a result).. People will not make long lasting change unless they want to.
Relationships are meant to be equal. That doens't mean it's going to be equal all the time (it's going to flucuate depending on the need) but when it's 5 years of one person being dependant on another, that is not a healthy relationship.. Should you be supportive, kind, compromising, senseitive to a partner with mental health issues? of course. But that doesn't mean you should be trapped in a situation which isn'y going to get better.
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I did suggest this to him also, but he said when he talked to his workplace they didn’t agree, since she was very drunk too and they both decided to drink together / go back to hers. He also personally feels it wasn’t as he had an erection the whole time and knew he could of stopped things at any point (if he had said no it would have ended immediately). But it took him a while to do so (after she gave him oral and they were partway through sex). Then he apparently realised it was wrong and stopped it / left? But I have heard having an erection could be out of fear too? Although someone else said if he was super drunk it’s unlikely he’d be able to sustain it? ?
That’s unfortunate. She’s been waiting for you a long time. She’s ready to have a partner that is active in the relationship and you are not ready to be. You aren’t in a position to be in an equal loving relationship. I think it’d actually be kinder to break up with her.
Yeah you're right, he's blocked me, I think I should move on
Ask her close friends or sisters if she has them. Honestly, if she's that picky maybe let her choose the ring? She has to wear it forever and the surprise isn't as important to some people.
Well he does that to me all the time too and if what you mean is I shouldn’t talk to him when he’s on screen then it means there would be no talk between us because he’s on screen all the time or else it’s me who’s on the screen.
Of course it’s awkward and she has every right to feel weird, but I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker. Maybe after she has some time to process, things will get better.
You’re right ? I don’t know why I am letting something hypothetical hurt me this much.
It is a situation that will be handled when it comes. Thank you for your detailed response.
Divorce her❤️
That the M25 is a masochist. Or stupid. Your choice.
To him, I’ll know if he isn’t actually mad because he’ll just end up talking to me like normal. He said he’d ask me why I wasn’t talking to him, and I’d just say oh i thought you were mad at me. Then if he is mad, he’ll probably ignore me and act cold for a bit. But after he gets his space, he really will circle back to the issue and explain himself once he’s got time to cool down and get over it. I guess the part that bothers me is that in that span of time, could be a few minutes or hours, and if I’m particularly sensitive that time of the month, I might have already cried my eyes out. After that fight though, I’m now kind of terrified whenever I mention or allude to him maybe being mad, sometimes it slips my mind when I’m normally talking and I get anxious because he told me not to ask him that. But he doesn’t get mad at that though in normal conversation, just if he actually is mad.
I think you are right. When I heard them say that I was frozen and couldn't say anything else but say “I didn't know” but I think that wasn't a strong enough reaction to set boundaries. I am Swedish so it's a bit difficult for me to be confrontational on the spot but I will work on it
It’s reasonable for him to change his mind when he sees another couple get pregnant while only using bc and not condoms. It’s not saying he doesn’t trust you, it’s saying he doesn’t trust the contraceptives, which he just saw fail.
Oh, I missed the fact that they have been serious only for six months. I thought they had been a couple for three years.
Yeah – that changes everything.
Why even bother giving a shit about your female friend’s sex life or lack thereof unless you want to shut down yours?
Honestly, let him go. No one is going to fill those shoes. That’s why these men are on YouTube preaching bullshit because REAL relationships don’t work like that. Let him try and find someone. 9/10, he will go for some young girl who will grow out of him and he will keep repeating the cycle. No grown woman with a lick of sense would accept this sexist behavior.
“She’s probably spiraling about aging out of her fertile years.”
Luckily, eyh? She already crapped OPs childhood.
“She’s probably spiraling about aging out of her fertile years.”
Luckily, eyh? She already crapped OPs childhood.
Give her proper notice then.
Good luck OP. You will come out the other side of this a much stronger and eventually happier person even if it may not feel like it right now. Hugs to you.
Make sure you use distilled water when/if you try it. Anything else and you’re risking other insidious germs getting too close to your brain
If gf is planning to sleep at some dudes place and she didn't mentioned it beforehand it's always screaming red flag.
Thank you. Yes, they do.
My baby grew up, dated an abusive guy, and he (then ex-bf) murdered her when she was 18. So even though I left her dad when she was a baby, I was forced to allow him visitation with her, and she (my daughter) paid the price for who he was/is. It's…no words.
OP needs help. Somehow she doesn't understand she's the victim here and her ex and her sister and her mother are her abusers.