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3rd day of Addy’s 12 days of Halloween |Dress off + tit worship@ GOAL |I am Daphne from Scooby Doo this morning [500 tokens remaining]
Date: October 23, 2022
AmateurPub
I think this is all in your head. He's watching a performance, where else is he supposed to look?
You did fail your children. Women like you disgust me so much. Who cares if you don’t have your mother, sad, or siblings. All you need is your kids. Take your kids and GO! You are the adult, not them. You don’t need anyone, just pack your stuff and go. Why haven’t you called the police? Why aren’t you trying anything? Quit being a little baby and crying to mommy because it’s clear she doesn’t side with you. Your husbands SA doesn’t give him the right to abuse his kids. I feel sorry for your kids for having a horrible mother and father.
Bro deleted all his responses ???
Well ,is she flirting or was you? i mean, why you know that?
Good thinking man, I won't be able to distinguish it then
You know it's over right?
I can see what you're saying for the most part, but it still has a really strong undertone of women's opinions and personalities just don't matter because they make babies. The real frustration from women is that this comes across as disingenuous for the entire friendship. Friendship means you value that person's sense of humor, you enjoy their company, you like hearing their thoughts. You can catch feelings and be disappointed that they're not reciprocated, but to then throw away the entire friendship feels like it wasn't valued in the first place.
Dating apps are sort of designed to fail. Don’t put all your eggs in that basket. It’s a trap.
Focus on in person interactions. If you don’t like drinking culture that is fine, but understand you are choosing to increase your difficulty. Focus on other campus life activities. Student organizations, athletics, student government, volunteering, politics, etc.
Going to be honest, all of this seems pretty innocent on your husband’s part aside from the flirty messages from before your wedding. If those have ceased, I really don’t see the issue since your husband has put up that boundary with her.
Everything else just sounds like two co-workers who have become real friends. That happens. If you don’t want your husband to have female friends, feel free to draw that boundary, but don’t be surprised if he reacts poorly. He WFH, his social interaction is limited as it is.
It’s also not just your baby. It’s his, too. And he should be able to freely update his friends about his child. Don’t be the crazy, jealous pregnant wife.
Perhaps consider some introspection on why you react so viscerally to your husband establishing a friendship with a woman who isn’t you. Do you wish he paid you the same sort of attention as her? Has he stopped courting you or showing interest in your life? All things to consider.
You going stay with that nonsense?
Grow a set dude. Go find someone who isn't going to mess with you.
However when I told my mom about it, she said that she didnt accept that and she wants me to date a doctor
Do YOU want to date a doctor? Do YOU care he will likely earn less than you once you become a doctor? Do YOU care that he is not ambition career wise the way you seem to be?
If you care, then it won't work. If you bf is happy and satisfied with his life and job, good for him and he shouldn't change of he's happy so you're not compatoble. If you don't care and the issus is what your mother is telling you, time to grow up. You mother shouldn'r have a voice into who you wpuld date or not. She won't be the one dating this person right? So grow up and chose the person you want to be. If you want this person to be an ambitious doctor, well that won't be your bf but I would cautionned you to be careful, you will be a busy doctor dating a busy doctor, you will also need to be ok with likemy barely seeing each other and if you want to have children one day if that something you alsp want, good luck with taking care of them. But you will both have money and be ambitious, not sure that's enough or the most important through.
That’s like thinking alcohol isn’t super addicting.
U don't want to be commited to be accountable let her go. Your in a marriage you get ALONE TIME you dont go wondering off into god knows where becuse you now want to on-line a nomad lifestyle
That goes beyond kink straight to mentally disturbed. That’s probably one of the more fucked up things I’ve read on this sub. Definitely break up with that weird fuck. Sorry you go through that
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sounds good, thank you
It sounds like he has made being a political contrarian his identity and he is fully entrenched. Good luck, It doesn’t get better until there is intense self reflection and a willingness to literally change his personality which most people will not do.
You’re right…I’m probably just gonna be more stressed and it I’ll be harder to let go of I do that, thanks
Thanks for the encouraging words. I think I may be overthinking it. The florist was very generous and added a few leafs and flowers around it for free so I thought it may have been too much.
What a bitch move. He is breaking up without actually saying it, maybe cause he doesn't want to be kicked out before his new place is available or something.
So, tell him that you didn't marry him to be a roommate and leave or tell him that a separation is for the best and you need space AWAY from him. He IMO doesn't care and everything else is more important to him, whether it's for a job or hobby. You are unhappy and he doesn't seem to want to fix it and you and your relationship are always last. I personally would leave, yes jobs come first but spouses should be a priority when jobs are finished at quitting time. Sorry my opinion, I would leave and go sort out my feelings away from him and he needs to see what it's like coming home to an empty house all the time.
That is rough. But it doesn't mean you get stuck taking care of him. She has to handle her own dog. This was not a joint decision.
She’s a terrible person. You’re better off without her for real. This probably hurts really bad I know I would be devastated. Sorry OP but it’s time to block her on everything and move on
Either they're decided to reconcile and he isn't telling you or yes, she's trying to get him back because he already has someone. But more importantly he's letting himself he roped back in.
Another glaring red flag is you have let a man who you have not known long, a married man who is having an affair with you,(yes its an affair so long as he is married) near your daughter. What if he does decide to go back to his wife? What if they actually divorce and he decides he doesn't want anything committed immediately? Do better for your daughter's sake
Literally everything
It’s just hard to bring it up with him when I’ve already done that before. And he’s not necessarily being physically with me without consent, it’s more so he objectifies me rather than just talking to me normally. I might try have the conversation one more time and see if he actually changes
OP, stop being his backstop for every time a new relationship fails. This guy is way too old to be flitting around like this and if he were truly into you he wouldn't keep running off and marrying other people. You ARE “the problem” if you're even considering taking anything he says seriously.
go to the gym do squats. dont get fake ass implants.
Please consider seeing a therapist that specializes in PTSD and sexual assault.
It's a lost cause. I can't say anymore.
I have pegged guys and honestlt its pretty liberating.
The control you have over them is kind of a nice feeling. I found out i enjoy being a dom sometimes thanks to doing that. Also when i have done these things they have been SUPER grateful and affectionate with me after as a thank you which has been really nice to have.
With that said. Its a lot of effort when youre tired.
Plus this issue with him starting to enjoy things youre not loving much and not being able to get hard otherwise isnt ok. Its not alright to completely dismiss your pleasure because otherwise he cant keep it up.
Id recommend getting him a buttplug or something to use while he has normal sex with you. Means he can insert and remove and stay very hot while having vaginal sex that you can enjoy. Never get into threesomes etc youre not comfortable with. Tell him that this thought of his needs to stay a fantasy that he can use as a turn on but it sont be a reality. He has already shown he cannot be trusted to keep his shit together with just anal. What happens when he cant get hard without being pegged or having others in there with him.
Best of luck to you.
You found the progressive yet not really type of girl, it's really early in the relationship so please consider if you want this for your life.
Your marriage is over. Admit it and move on.
She’s cheating on you. Note how you go on a break yet she continues to do the one thing that is cause Ings the rouble, seeing NF.
Bin her, keep the dog and go complete NC. Watching her get together with NF in front of you will only keep you in pain, believe me, I have been there and know it.
You sound like an incredibly selfish person. You want your wife to upend her life and move away from a place she likes because YOU can't keep your hands off your neighbor.
I hope your neighbor tells your wife.
Well it could be a lot of things causing this. Are you going after women who are like you? Are there things you could identify about yourself that might be turning women off? Things that you need to work on? You said your female friend said love yourself first, is that because there are characteristics of yourself that may not be good for dating and that could be contributing to the hard time finding someone? Talk to some guys and see what they have to say, you'll bet much better and honest advice from other men not girls
Are they his kids? This situation makes no sense to me if the answer is Yes.
As far as how to protect yourself, that varies a lot by state. You need to talk to a family lawyer (who, I mention, just by way of making conversation, is also the kind of lawyer who does divorces; just throwing that out there).
Jesus, why are you guys all jumping to it me being an issue. She wants to be able to first of all, she’s the one who suggested we try, and I know that porn is fake. I’m not asking for a waterfall, and if you don’t have actual advice on the topic then just move on. I don’t need studies, and I don’t need people assuming I’m a whacked out porn addict with delusions.
I think for anyone that's been in an abusive relationship, specially one where the man is the breadwinner, his comments are quite triggering. Calling an eye roll disrespectful, playing the breadwinner card to make her feel bad when it was his idea for her not to work, the condescending tone… it just reeks. She was 19 when he got with her, and told her she didn't have to work. He doesn't care that she has no career of her own and no life, she's just a mom. He thinks she should respect him at all times even when he's condescending, because he “pays for her lifestyle” (his words). He uses her depression and despair as an excuse to victimise himself. He demands “hard earned” naps in the middle of the day after working a few hours from another room in the house, just to reiterate that he is the one working. He gets annoyed because she asks him where the ketchup is or asks him to change a lightbulb, those are the examples he has given of this horrific abuse. When asked what things he does around the house, the only example was making breakfast for him and the kids in the morning (so not even for his wife).
I do, I like drawing
Sharing your husband for 10 years and still not leaving.
Impressive.
Lol!! Good luck with that
What’s the problem?! Lol. Just don’t talk to the dude beyond the bare minimum of being cordial. For example he says hello, you say hi and then excuse yourself. No need to throw a drink at him nor get into a long convo with him either.
It's a good idea to get all the really big issues out on the table early, kids, religion, politics etc, way before feelings develop. This gal is old enough to know that and is likely not looking to waste time on someone who doesn't want the same things as her.
And yes, her clock is ticking, I'm glad it worked out ok for your mum, but many women experience difficulties with pregnancy in their late 30s.
It's so different for guys, theres no real cut off point as such. It sounds like her timeframe is going to be way faster than yours. She already has a child and perhaps wants that child to have a sibling within age range for companionship etc.
Respectfully, I dont think your timelines ate going to match up and youd be better being honest about that now.
Come right out and tell her, it sounds to me like you are at least a decade away from wanting to father a child. Dont be indirect here by saying 'yeah, some day' – that will just breed tension and resentment.
Its actually quite mature to have these discussions early, it should prevent people who dont want the same things from wasting time on each other. But the key is to be honest, even if it feels blunt.
That's a hard one to approach.
I dated my ex for about four years, and this was never a concern of hers, outside of her asking me to text her brother now and again. That said, I wasn't close with her older sister or younger brother. Sometimes you just don't have a lot in common with people – that's okay. If you have a family that gets together often (uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.), you'll see a lot of people that don't really have a lot in common but are cordial. You don't have to be close to everyone. Does her brother even care?
That is some straight up stupid advice! Really, that's how you ruin relationships. And it won't even matter if she does cheat or not, that singe action has a profound effect on a relationship.
If she knows you saw the message, Ask her when it’s your turn!!
What was the joke?
lol. grow up kid.
So uh… how overweight are we talking? For some reason I get the feeling she has put on maybe 15 lbs or so and you're calling that “on the cusp of obeisity.”
Bro, she said she didn’t want to have sex one time, within your super short 6 month relationship and you act like the world is caving in on you? There could be an infinite number of reasons why, you should just ask her and stop overreacting.
She wants to get back on her meds and I supported her in doing so. She hasn't made an appointment for it yet, unfortunately. I do agree with you tho. I'm not stupid and can normally tell if I'm being manipulated but I haven't had any experience with being in a relationship with mental issues so I don't know if shes genuine or using it as an excuse.
You’re waaaaay too busy to have a full time sprouting relationship. Hit the pause button on the girl situation. You have MAJOR important things coming up that will make your life THRIVE!
Don’t you dare quit on your goals!!! Focus! You got this!!!
Well, I guess you learn something you stay out of it isn’t your business you let him work out his own families, issues and now you know why. He’s a grown man. He knows what he wants to do and what he doesn’t wanna do so if you love him, be a good girlfriend and let him handle his own issues.
it’s a win-some lose-some situation either way, pick the one that’ll make your wife happy with the compromise that you get to leave the party early
You don't. What she wears is up to her.
You've only known each other for 3 months. Sometimes things cooldown after the initial excitement.
Ask if you can hang out with them. This is how a lot of work place affairs start. I would be clear about other boundaries. Like hanging out in public places, no more late nights alone etc.
Im also put off by how the gf feels “burdened” by OPs supposed sex drive.
OP, Judging from your post history, your boyfriend sounds like a huge asshole. Are you sure you want to be with someone who belittles you for handling your own business? Do you want to keep being the only one trying to resolve disputes?
I honestly think you deserve better than this man. You solved the problem yourself. What business does he have getting angry about YOUR stuff? I don’t think this guy is the one.
That was a massive beach of privacy. Why are you going through his phone? If this is going to be a problem in your relationship, you need to tell him you didn’t trust him and went through his phone. You seem incredibly insecure, considering you went through “thousands” of porn films to see if any of the actresses looked like you. The porn he watches likely has nothing to do with his ex. Everything you described is insane behavior.
I have mentioned it to him several times, but he sees it as her way of joking. Would it be overstepping if I say something to her the next time she makes another comment like that to me?
Lol I’m just afraid of bringing it up again bc I don’t want to ruin the progress we’ve made. Before this it was fighting about the fact that he was watching too much porn and we weren’t having sex regularly.
Also I hated when he’d just leave the house without saying goodbye, or he wouldn’t tell me if he was coming home super late (which I didn’t mind I just wanted to know). There were other things but the porn thing is #1
He should seek out an urologist. He/ she can help him the best with this issue
He will be over his sadness in a few short weeks
This may be one of the most ignorant comments I've seen on this sub, you have no idea what he'll go through in the coming days, weeks, months or even years. Everybody reacts differently.
In not saying this to impact OPs decision, she should do what's right for her, but don't pretend to know that he'll be fine after a few short weeks.
Holy cow!!! Mania!! Damn. LMMFAO! OFC not funny but, all I can say is damn! That's karma….
But she still has to go in there. Why make the situation more uncomfortable for herself? Better to just keep the peace.
Her not helping with chores. She started losing the weight a little before we started dating. I'd say that over the first 3 years, she lost about 40-50 lbs. Now, the weight she had lost is back. We do have our own health problems.
Her not helping with chores. She started losing the weight a little before we started dating. I'd say that over the first 3 years, she lost about 40-50 lbs. Now, the weight she had lost is back. We do have our own health problems.
Well it depends, I truly do dislike when she gets drunk, cause she always gets hammered. With the smoking, I dislike it and don’t want it ever to effect me and would hope that my partner feels the same way.
In what way do you mean I seem confident in my way?
If she can’t ever control her drinking I’m really sure this won’t be able to keep going. The weed smoking is only more okay because she almost never does it
Is this actually a hopeless case and I should stop talking to him?
Yes yiu should, he is not your pet project to try and fix. He has absolutely no intention of improving himself. In fact you are probably giving him all the attention he wants because you are so set on trying to help him change.
This always happens in age gap.relationships…the girl only opens her eyes after several years..
I'm a dude that's been raped, so I just want to stop, and say thank you for defending women. It would have been nice if you defended everyone, but good on ya!
Ha, my husband and I started trying right after we got engaged, because he was in his late 40s and I was in my late 30s and we thought it was going to take awhile since I was pregnant once before 4 years younger and it took awhile. We thought I would possibly be newly pregnant at the wedding a year later. Guess who had a 5 week old baby at their wedding?
Why do you need dating apps because you are gay? 41 and 19 is basically the same age gap as many parents and child. How old are your parents?
No. Why?
I'm glad you're well and best to you in your career!
You’re 21, no children. Why don’t you work?
Yep!
Roommate was protecting herself.
Hope op talks to them and they become friends
Don’t talk to your sister. Is she close with your rapist? Because seems like she’s manipulating you, just like her.
You may not have the same problem because you were unconscious. Performing problems are psychological most of the time.
Have him train for a spartan race. It’s running plus obstacle course… much more fun to do
and essentially he is gaslighting op if this is the case…and making her feel too guilty to ever question it again
In what way is he being taken advantage of?
In what way is he being taken advantage of?
Listen to what you are perceiving. It's likely true. He sounds immature, and tbh, any man over 22 who dates a teenager isn't doing it for the deep meaningfulness of a mature relationship.
Age gap relationships are fine, as long as they're in the window of “same era of life” you and he are not in that. If he was 43 and you were 31, that would be in that same stage of life era. But as 19 and 31, nope.
You have so much more potential than dating a douchebag 30 something man-boy.
You may be best away from him, rather than be on a list
Are you forgetting that the dude proposed to his now fiancé shortly after getting back together after infidelity? lol And OP is the homewrecker?
You have jumped from an abusive relationship to one with an emotional manipulator.
It’s a different type of burn. You might feel like things have improved, but now you’re being invalidated, and he is trying to assert control over your finances, your car, and even your freaking furniture, and is using your rape as a way to manipulate you.
You might be able to talk to him without getting physically hurt, but this man has the capability to do lasting emotional damage.
I left a very abusive relationship a long time ago and my dating life afterwards was basically “well it’s better than my abuser so it has to be good, right?”
Wrong.
You can do better. And even being by yourself is better.
Op, when it’s that bad, that means he has other health issues going on. This includes stomach, digestive, and possible heart problems.
A dentist is your first line of defense because when they look in your mouth, they are also looking for other health concerns besides plaque and bad teeth.
They are looking for cancer warning signs to heart problems since your mouth can pin point things early before a regular doctor can.
Hence why if it’s THIS bad, he also needs an actual regular health check up as well!
He doesn’t need a new snowboard, he doesn’t need this trip, he’s not going to make it to 40 or 45, possible need dentures by then if he doesn’t treat this since yesterday.
And yes, I worked six months in a dental office. I saw what happens when people put off YEARS not going.
How awful, that is so rude, unkind, and judgmental of her. If your partner is kind, loving, supportive, and gives you joy, then her judgement is very misplaced.
You aren’t in love with her. You leave. You don’t stay just because you have been together for years. Too many couples keep going because of inertia and it’s a recipe for divorce.
Because he tried multiple times to communicate it with her already amd she is changing the discussion. Also the partie that has the problem by not having sex should communicate the problem. It is not the other persons responsibility to guess and to guess right! She is not communicating at all, she changes the subject and she is also playing with him. When she is horny she wants staff but then she plays with him a little and it doesn't go further than that!!!. Communication is the key and it should not be always from the side of the man but from the women also.
She never initiates sex not in the 6 years we have been together I always have to start it.
She never initiates sex not in the 6 years we have been together I always have to start it.
“Grab yer pick prospector Patty….them’s gold in thar hills!”
Hopefully this statement fills in some of the blanks.
I don’t think you grasp what love is. I think you’re confusing security, tradition and simply what you’re used to, for love. She humiliated you, broke your trust and ruined your life together. You still thought it was a great idea to keep her around. Then she did it again, as if the point wasn’t illustrated enough. Well ofc she did, there were zero implications the first time she cheated, why would she stop? Ofc they have continued their affair, why else would she be texting him, especially under a different name. And deleting the texts. Jesus man, you are seriously blind. Get a grip, kick her out, and never look back.
Thank you for your words, I really needed the encouragement!!
If you are worried about him then call the police via non-emergency line to do a wellfare check on him.
I bet he is alive and punishing you by freezing you out. You need to end this for good.
He's an asshole: he hurts you repeatedly when drunk but sober him thinks it's okay to lift those cups! Sober him finds it acceptable to subject you to his BS and beg for forgiveness after and not just once. I suspect he does that on purpose.
Your BF is a manipulative alcoholic who chooses not to work or resolve HIS problems.
Whatever he did after you threw him out is not your responsibility. Block his number, go full NC. This is not your situation to resolve. He needs to own his shit and get help. Even if he did, you shouldn’t get back together.
Save yourself.
Sorry babes. Her house her rules.
Dude, first things first…. DNA test on the kids, see if they actually are yours.
Secondly, STD test on yourself. Start talking to a lawyer. You're not officially married, but check to make sure Common Law hasn't kicked in.
AGAIN, DNA TESTS!
Talk to him. Tell him about you're feeling. Communication is key. If he gets scared away by your feelings then he isn't the right one for you. If he understands and puts effort into validating your feelings and helping you feel better about the situation then he is the right one for you.
I’m very aware of the situation, and I promise and I’m not underestimating anything. That is exactly what both Ava and I are doing. There’s no reason for her to remove her cameras.
Your partner is very insecure and purposefully bringing up something from a negative time in your life in attempt to make himself feel better about something that has nothing to do with him.
If I were you I’d move on from this whole relationship. You’re not going to be able to work through your past with somebody throwing it in your face.’