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Room for live! sex video chat _Nissa
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Date: October 23, 2022
It was none of his business to spy on his dad in the first place
After reading some of your post/replies I can sum up that you just want to protect your dad, your mom, and your family. And I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re only 15. It isn’t your responsibility to protect anyone. It’s the responsibility of the adults to carry that weight. This burden is much too heavy and it’s already starting to take a toll on you and your mental health.
I’m so sorry that you’ve been struggling so long by holding all of this in. I know some people are telling you to talk with your dad, but it isn’t your job to figure out the extent of his infidelity or make him explain anything. These are conversations your parents need to have amongst themselves. If what you already found out has hurt you this much, then you don’t need to know all the details. And you especially don’t need to set him straight. The thing with parents is that they’re people too. They’ll make bad choices and have to suffer the consequences just as much as any other person. I say this from experience because I grew up in a very similar situation. And a lot of the time when people are caught doing something they aren’t supposed to, they either do/say whatever they can to get out of it or they can use it as an opportunity to do better. But it’s also important to know that confronting your dad might give him the opportunity to lie/come up with excuses or even manipulate you into thinking it isn’t that big of a deal or that you saw things wrong. He might even continue to cheat and just find ways to hide it better. Don’t open yourself up to that level of disappointment and hurt. The chance of that happening is not worth it. Especially since I can tell you love him very much.
The best thing to do would be to tell your mom what you saw. Just give her the facts of your findings. Mention to her that you’re not even sure if what you saw was real, because it’s the truth. From there on she can be the one to figure out the rest. A lot of people are telling you to tell your mom because at the end of the day, it’s the right thing to do morally. She deserves to know that the person she’s with doesn’t love/cherish/value her the way they should. And from there she’ll be able to make a choice that’s healthiest for her and your family. Your mom ultimately deserves better and I know that you know that. Or maybe it’s something she already knows about. Either way, whatever happens is not and was never your fault. Your parents are the adults and need to settle things themselves without you getting anymore involved than you already are
Thank you for your comment, this isn't something I was every going to use against her I was just wondering because I just don't see how kissing another guy can be called cheating. I'd get it if I was bi or gay for that matter but it was a harmless kiss in my opinion
I’ll join this subreddit, thank you
Yea he said he would look into getting a hotel or Airbnb when he gets paid.
He came back at me saying if I decided to stop having sex he would most likely leave the relationship. I’m not sure how to feel about this.
Are you for real?
…He cheated on you multiple times. And you say he puts other people before himself. he clearly DIDN'T put your feelings before his. multiple times. you should dump him and find someone who doesn't cheat .
Could be more insecurity than distrust. When I'm depressed I get like that. I get in my head about if my partner (well be engaged in a few weeks) is talking to other people and lying (were poly with a complete transparency rule but neither of us have really attempted to date anyone the only person he's mentioned was a woman he met through his industry but he quickly realized he misread the situation and she has a boyfriend. But that doesn't stop my depression brain from saying that I'm so unattractive and not enjoyable to be around that he must be talking to someone else to get through dealing with me) I've had the urge and it was nothing to do with him. I've never loved or trusted anyone so much, never been so wholly loved and supported and cared for. But fuck every bad depression episode I end up in I ask him to show me his phone. If I could for the life of me remember his 8 digit pass code (it's never changed since we've known eachother I just can't for the life of me ever remember it) I'd probably go through it while he slept. It be a hell of a lot less embarrassing than having to look him in his eyes and tell him how low my self esteem is currently and how badly I just need the affirmation that everything is transparent and if I don't know about anyone it's because there isn't anyone and the second there was I would know. So maybe it's just coming from a place of straight insecurity. I mean shit look at the gorgeous women that have been cheated on like Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Anniston, Audrey Hepburn just to name a couple. So it's not a direct distrust it's often just that society convinces us everyone's gunning for our partners and yadda yadda every man cheats blah blah blah. So I think you're right to forgive her, and maybe you'll have to be ok with the only explanation you may receive is someone on reddit telling you she's probably feeling insecure in a way she can't bring herself to relay to you
Do you take on some of the feeding, changes and baths? If there's a more equal parental load, often there's more action in the bedroom. Also, make sure to carve out some time for just the two of you. Woo each other like the old days. No kids. No technology. Just the two of you. It has nothing to do with her attraction to you, or how you are in bed. It has everything to do with sleep deprivation, malnutrition, and hormones. She may also be touched out by the end of the day, so give her a few minutes alone for a very hot shower and emotional regulation reset.
Whatever other people want to argue about…
Professional help is needed. First doctor, blood/hormone testing that kinda jazz. Whatever they recommend. Then sex therapist. End of story no beating around the bush.
Do what you can at home with chores and kids. Make her feel loved.
You can offer her a drink. If she says no, respect that. The way you're phrasing this makes it sound a bit creepy, to be honest.
Lol “Im not concerned about what your exes did, didn't know them” also you “they didn't respect you, you just didn't catch them”
how do i bring it up?
i want him back.
How much of the money she owes you did you make 10000% clear it was owed back at some point and not a gift because you were helping her? (For example, not asking for rent or the shared credit card)
You’re 23 and 25. Is there a specific reason you’re getting married at what is still a relatively young age in this day and age?
Either wait and have the wedding she dreams of, or do it now on a smaller scale. Those are both reasonable compromises. Do not take out a personal loan for a party (and yes at the end of the day it is just a party, I say that as someone who also dreams of a big expensive wedding).
Just remember, if he can do it to you, he can do it to her.
You gotta go through and break up. It's best for both of you, she deserves someone who loves her back.
Why would you date a man who does not respect you or women? Gross. You are a HIGH value individual.
Can you bring her into one of your doctor's appointments with you to talk to your doctor? Perhaps they could explain to her the severity of what's going on. I'm not sure if that would help, but she is very clearly in denial of your situation. It's not right she's putting it on you, but she's having a lot of trouble accepting that her child's life is forever different and it might help to hear it directly from a medical professional.
You could also bring her into therapy one week so you two can talk with your therapist to mediate the conversation.
He was hiding something tho. She wasn’t.
Personally, I'd skip any further time with her. She's set her priorities..And it isn't you.
Congratulations on your degree!!
Once you start squirting, it will either go down or go up for a bit, then go down… either way, problem solved. Tell him to curl his 2 middle fingers upward when he fingers you, and rub them up and down your wall as he pumps in and out of you, when you feel as though your about to pee, don’t let him stop… keep going.
Once you start squirting, it will either go down or go up for a bit, then go down… either way, problem solved. Tell him to curl his 2 middle fingers upward when he fingers you, and rub them up and down your wall as he pumps in and out of you, when you feel as though your about to pee, don’t let him stop… keep going.
Look, you’re indifferent to having children. She’s not. You’ve been together 8 years. So it’s clear this relationship works. You’re 42, so anything wild and crazy you were going to do has either been done or indefinitely shelved. Just relax. She really wants another child. She’s made the commitment to you. She’s chosen you other all others. That’s worth something. Don’t blow your awesome situation over a mild issue. Have the kid. What the big deal?
I know you're right by saying I need to communicate better, because I really do and obviously have a very very hot time doing so.
I feel like up until recently I've been good at communicating and putting up boundaries. However, whenever I try to communicate my feelings my bf has always told me that there was no point talking to me “because I always get my way and am always right”. After being told this a few times, I feel like I have just been scared of putting out my feelings properly, even though I did not think so.
I have also been told that “the things I say sometimes are so useless he just don't listen” – which I have outright told him hurt my feelings. He apologized for it but he still tunes me out and ignores me at times.
I also don't want to sound like I'm just defending myself however, I confronted him about his decision to stay tonight after our conversation and his reaction was “Oh right, we talked about that. I forgot.” Which, to me, fuels the “he doesn't listen to me” part.
But yeah, I agree I should communicate much better because it's unfair to expect people to understand everything. And I need to grow some backbone lol
I honestly wouldn't want to. They are ignoring all OP did to support this friend, way more than anyone else.
I feel like this should be top comment personally. There's no need to make a huge fuss over it all. Its just simply not smart to not CYA, what if they break up at some point and there OP is with 30k dumped into a house she has no legal claim over? Very good points.
My girl was collecting trophies or all her conquests ?
This is a horrible thing to tell your SO…
He's creating insecurities that you never even had…
I'm an avid weightlifter and hip thrusts completely changed my body (small waist/ round bum) BUT I also love weight lifting… And it's made me feel strong and powerful.. but if a guy were to ever tell me “yeah but you'd be more attractive if you worked on your arms a bit more” I'd drop him in a second. I'm not a human canvas waiting for someone else to paint…. Or a painting waiting to be criticized.
I personally think this is borderline emotionally abusive and I would leave…
thank you — that is a good point. I'll try to remember that
You friend sounds like a person who convinces someone to stop antidepressants cold turkey then takes no responsibility when that person ends up in a psych ward or dead. Same with the religious cult who stopped a girl’s insulin to pray away her diabetes. She died and they were all arrested. Just ignore this person, block them and continue to be grateful for modern medicine. In the old days they threw troubled people into an insane asylum.
?
Why did he specifically say he wouldn’t go with nurses? That’s kinda odd.
But just cause he said he won’t fool around, it doesn’t mean he won’t go around acting single. He didn’t even tell you how long the break is gonna he, he wants to be single
Go to the baby shower and spend the entire time talking to every single table about how weird and hurtful this is and how he abandoned you for 13 years.
My boyfriend and I moved in VERY quickly together. I wasn't dumb and knew he was a bit of a player before we got together and other girls had slept on his bed too. It never made me uncomfortable with previous boyfriends. However, after about 6 months of living together it really bugged me. I felt dumb but he could tell I was weird about sleeping on the bed so we talked. The moment the man validated my feelings and told me he understood was the moment I realized my feelings were safe with him. I know it sounds incredibly dumb and childish but we as people cannot help how we feel all the time. I had fallen so very hot for this man. We agreed after a talk to go half and half on the bed. We actually ended up getting a way more comfortable bed under his name but we split the price.
My point is sometimes in relationships we won't always understand where our partner is coming from, but when we really care we'll try to see things from their perspective.
Maybe you can try asking her to help you buy one,if she says no then tell her you can't afford one, but try to understand where she's coming from. Mattresses aren't waterproof they absorb things, so any bodily fluids that have ever been on that bed have probably been absorbed as well.
Just block her and walk away. You both have proven that you don't need or want each other in your lives. No need to be dramatic, just keep on living life without her.
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It's not even close.
I don’t believe this is real
That’s a nope. It takes 30 seconds to type what he was going through. Nope!
While you have her phone keep digging. She may be a serial cheater
Generations of misogyny. Sometimes, I don’t think men actually even like us.
My type of answer
Take it from someone who is being on both sides of your situation. Just leave him.
If he’s this active than he’s very likely not going to stop being this active for any one. You’re going to become anxious and paranoid about every woman he’s near and how many times he slept with them do yourself a favor and move on.
He still maintains that he didn’t know he was hurting me and thought I could ‘take the punches’.
He's manipulating you girl.
Stay separated, and stop letting him back in your house.
I would turn this right back around at her for immediately sexualizing the situation. That's gross of her.
While a 3 year age gap isnt much, I just want to clarify.
At 15, he was dating a 12 year old? did I get that right?
Were u in like 7th grade and he was 10th grade?
A huge one, if you ask me. “Birds of a feather flock together” is a saying for a reason.
You're absolutely right, but our opinions don't trumph how someone else runs their life. If you've told her you're not financing her, then that's all you should do. I wouldn't either.
It sounds like you've done something seriously wrong, or a lot of things wrong and you're either guilty af and feel so bad you can't admit to it. Or you're actually a narcissistic parent.
There's no way you had a brilliant relationship with your son where he felt loved, seen and heard then decided to just cut you out one day in college. You've clearly done something, and if you're genuinely that clueless it's more likely that you've constantly been mistreating him and that's why you can't figure it out.
Thank you so much ❤️
But the issue is not whether OP wants to have a baby. The issue is whether she wants to undergo IVF, an extremely expensive, protracted, complex, and invasive process, when the problem sounds like it's on his end, not hers.
Sorry but no. If he was honestly interested he would have messaged you. No one just 'forgets' about the person they are really interested in.
Run girl- he’s a mommas boy and proud of it
Do you not see what's wrong here? You have zero romantic feelings for these other guys, yet you're being guilted into going despite you knowing nothing is going to happen. Is that something you want to deal with every time you want to go and do something for yourself? Listen to the advice here, and please rethink your relationship.
I get were she is coming from if she has no chance to give the phone back. A new Iphone is fairly expensive and she probably didn't thought she might need to pay it herself wich is somehow reasonable. (but very immature)
The easiest way was to send her the money and add a little “never contact me again” note.
The thing is that whoever has his name written on the contract is going to pay for it. That is probably the most important part.
I suggest r/deadbedroom
Dude same, I joined crossfit and with the loss of appetite from the depression it actually helped me kick into shape quite a bit. Totally take some time and look at things as objectively as you can you know. Take things a little slow, don't jump into too many large commitments. things will sort out as time goes. It can take some time but you definitely come out a pretty strong will'd individual after.
You’ve never even gone once to meet the people he spends time with there? You don’t have to drink or stay out all night.
Just stop washing your ass for a couple weeks and then ask him to go down on you, he'll get the message.
Yeah, I gotta be honest and say that if my husband flew into a black out rage to the point they would’ve beat someone to death and went so far beyond what was necessary for our safety, I would have some concerns and don’t think I’d look at him the same again. I wouldn’t blink at a swing or two, sure, but pummelling someone into a bloody pulp with fists and smacking them around the room wouldn’t sit right with me, and I’d probably start thinking he was wound up pretty tight and looking for an excuse to get violent. Then again, I had an ex who killed our dog with his bare hands who use to go into “blackouts”, so maybe I’m just sensitive.
Yes. Someone accidentally goes into the wrong house when a door is unlocked and gets shot. Sounds smart. Or better yet, someone stalks a teenager until he comes at them aggressively so they fuck off and then gets killed.
Everyone in this post except you comes off as very immature and insecure.
You lasted way long than I would. The absolute disrespect he showed is amazing.
I'm glad you broke up with him.
Tell her that the membership was contingent upon you two being a couple but since that is no longer a thing neither is the membership, screw her and her narcissist arse, not literally of course but she's not worth your time or money..You're lucky you were only with her for 8 mos. Geez, most NORMAL relationships are still in the honeymoon phase at this point, seems yours ended pretty quick.
Don’t treat her like a flesh light. You’re going to turn yourself into his biggest turn off.
Well – we're definitely beyond casual at this point.
And reading the comments so far, I start to understand that for some (many) people buying a house is really one central unit of their outlook in life – on a similar level such as kids or being politically left- or right-leaning etc.
I don't know yet what to make of that.
I’m my experience there are two types of men, some that can stomach cheating and some that can’t. I don’t stand for it amongst my friends and choose them accordingly. Interestingly, dudes that are ok cheating don’t always make the most reliable friends.
We have not. I have brought it up multiple times, but shes adamant on not going. She says I can go, but I imagine couples therapy doesnt work with half the couple attending.
As soon as you think it may get serious
Where I’m from, having your partner by your side to walk down the aisle behind my sister is an honour. I was really offended and feel disrespected when he said he’s not going anymore… he thinks his presence will mean nothing. When in fact, it means everything to me.
If you've told him this and he still won't go, then you have to accept that he just doesn't care. He doesn't care if he upsets you or makes you happy. He doesn't care if he's seen as a part of your family or not. He doesn't care to go out of his way for you. At that point you get to decide if you want to be with someone like that.
Of course. Speaking as a afab myself, I'd only be interested in a partner who likes and is attracted to what I have. If my SO wished I had a penis instead and didn't like what I was naturally given, I'd be heartbroken but I would move on.
This. OP's friend obviously has a problem, a mental health issue, that needs therapy.
Missing alot of context. Have you talked to him about this? If so what was the consensus (ie the cause) that you 2 came up with for the lack of sex?
It’s not, not at all. I’m serious- you say he’s better but there’s better still.
You’d be surprised how many normal friends are willing to be exceptional when you’re in dire need of escape (source: have been there and even acquaintances came out of the woodwork to help me get out)
Be glad it happened way early in the start up. Walk away and don’t look back. Just avoid her. You should consider yourself lucky she saved you a lot of heartache and grief. Also as mean as it seems she also saved you a lot of money and chances from getting a STI.
Troll better
Well, a shit ton do. I am not kidding you in the least lol.
Nah you’re absolutely right tbh. I grew up in an abusive household and certainly have some trauma there, and sometimes certain imagery in the media can be triggering. I wouldn’t even compare that to war trauma though. Her comparison was stupid, to say the least…
She has a boyfriend. You’re friendzoned. Move on if you want something else.
My boyfriend is a super fan of vikings and Ragnar, but he was so angry that he cheated on Lagertha.
How did a grease fire burn an envelope? Did anything else get burned?
I don’t know that you should apologize. I think an explanation would be better. Let her know you over heard her comment about “you not stopping touching her leg” and that wasn’t your intention but the drinking and jacuzzi made for a more relaxed atmosphere. And don’t be partying with those co-workers. They want to drink and cause drama!
Ppl will give you bullshit about personality but realistically ppl only care about your looks and how much money you have
Make more money, go to the gym more and eat less food
Women don’t want projects, they wait for the winner at the finish line.
Control what you can control. Good luck on the grind! Stay strong
I don’t know that you should apologize. I think an explanation would be better. Let her know you over heard her comment about “you not stopping touching her leg” and that wasn’t your intention but the drinking and jacuzzi made for a more relaxed atmosphere. And don’t be partying with those co-workers. They want to drink and cause drama!
Thanks for responding
She does respond quick we usually always have a conversation going through social media. We see each other a few times at week at university and talk and hang out for a hour or so. We have hung out a few times outside of this but that was for a specific reason to have a conversation.
It is so nude to tell what she thinks of me cause she’s very picky when it comes to dating (her words) my brain goes back and forth so quickly with it
I'm not going to destroy his property. I find that to be abusive.
But I do pay for the internet, so I'm going to disconnect that.
He does know that I wimp out and expects me to do the dishes. He knows that by leaving them there, I have to do them to do what I want to do, and I'll do that. I'm not going to do it anymore, though.
I guess I didn't explain it very well. I'm worried about my sister. Plus I don't know how to handle my parents. I have given them 2 opportunities to be in my life. Is cutting them out completely the right choice? Do I reach out again after we have kids?
Ok, so call her, or just talk and ask her everything you want to know. She has asked you, if you are ok about this and you are, but you thought she would give more detail about this cruise. It's all there is to it and it's what you should tell her.