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Kari, 24 y.o.
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Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Kari
Date: October 20, 2022
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Dump him. Now.
I wished he just treated me bad so I have something to use to accept what happened but I cant think of any..
OP I get that you're grieving. You should definitely speak to a professional if your thoughts are getting this dark.
i definitely won't move in. im staying with my parents until im ready to move out on my own. but i just thought it was nice that he'd want that
Maybe in a public place and keep it friendly, but I would ne suspicious why after all this time, she wants to reconnect.
I was like that with my guy best friend. Long story short, we both decided to part ways. It wasn’t healthy for either of us.
You need to calm down dude. She just lost her father and her first thought wasn’t malicious, it was to put the money towards the biological grand children. If y’all are so well off then why not have her spend some of that on herself so she can enjoy a mini vacation with nothing to worry about? Instead of making an issue of this realize that she just lost someone important in her life and she probably needs some time to come to terms with that. She needs more support from you right now not pettiness over something that won’t really matter in the long run anyway.
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Why not just ask him?
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You have no kids together, which makes it so much easier for you to separate. This man now has exactly what he wanted – he can as adventurous as he wants! Let him have at it .
Average is just normal… there’s nothing wrong with being normal. I’m also a typical average man with my height, income, and my looks. Above average is literally a supermodel and rich
Is she understand and supportive? You are going through a lot and hopefully she is there for you.
NAH. I think for some gift giving (like birthdays or Christmas, especially if it’s just one gift and it’s to your spouse) it’s nice to give something fun that they want, and not necessarily something that they need. I need new socks and undershirts, but I’d so much rather get the vintage World Series hat I’ve been wanting. I also think you put a lot of love and thought into your gift and ultimately that should count for something.
Okay, but you know it was a joke and that he wasn't really asking for a picture. It's just something people say. Your reaction is honestly concerning.
Too little too late. Leave her alone and quit trying to blow up her life. Quit trying to justify why you want to do this. Absolutely nothing you say is going to change the fact that this is a terrible and selfish idea.
It’s not different because the concern is about safety, not being late for plans. The husband didn’t understand the wife’s concern about him being safe and sound while traveling and interpreted her asking for reassurance as a loss of freedom. When he was the one to worry about his family being safe and sound while traveling he understood what it’s like to be on the other side.
Grow a spine now and just leave man. These people don't get better. It's only been 8 months and you're young.
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Do not leave the house. Do not sleep on the couch. Let her sleep elsewhere or get out of the house.
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I wouldn’t shower at night. I have curly hair that you can’t brush while dry with it getting frizzy as hell. Plus, I just don’t feel awake if I don’t get my shower in the morning. I also have eczema which makes multiple showers a day less than ideal as it dries out my skin worse. So, I really get where your girlfriend is coming from. If I had someone dictating when I showered it just wouldn’t work. Aside from all the issues above, I just really wouldn’t like it if someone told me when to shower. I also noticed that you didn’t put that any of these things were doctors suggestions, just what you preferred. Perhaps you should see a doctor if you’re having issues and get a medical opinion on what you can do. I can understand the perfumes being a problem, but I would think that wouldn’t be a take a shower at night issue, but more of a please don’t wear it at all issue. In my experience if a person has an issue with perfumes it affects them in the daytime too.
Thank you! For months she's basically walked away from this relationship. And he never noticed. She's quit arguing, disagreeing, crying because he is no longer safe and worth the effort.
So he’s had this dissociative disorder since he was a child and has never received treatment for it beyond a person that mysteriously died not too long after the appointment
Now I know you’re trolling
Deceptive lies??
It's lip filler from 2019. Not an affair.
So, you told a man you're in love with, after having sex with him, that you guys are just friends?
And this is after, from his perspective, he was waiting to be ready to reciprocate your feelings that you confessed to him a year and a half ago?
Look. You mentioned that he's not the best at discussing his feelings, but in your post you point out that you told him one thing and meant another, and have not cleared the air with him since then. You are both bad at communicating. If you want to fix the misunderstanding, you have to be willing to make yourself understood.
From where I'm sitting it looks like one of two things happened here. Either:
After you first confessed your feelings for him, he waited until he healed from his last relationship and he could reciprocate your interest. When your relationship became sexual recently, he thought you two were finally moving toward a real romantic relationship. But your immediate insistence that you are just friends having casual benefits convinced him that maybe you had moved on from your feelings and never intended to act on them, and that he had pushed you into something you didn't want, so he's pulling away. After you two became sexual, you insisted you were just friends and he realized you were lying and that you actually did still have feelings for him and that this wasn't casual for you, and he actually doesn't reciprocate the feelings you once confessed to, and now he feels bad for misreading you as having moved on. So now he's pulling away to try to avoid hurting you more.
I personally think from the situation you described, 1 is more likely but 2 is not off the table either. And there is NO way to know for sure until you clear the air.
It's a frustrating fact about life that sometimes you have to bet something to win something. If you want to get something out of him, you can't just keep hinting and pining and waiting for him to confess something to you. You can't play your cards that close forever. If you want to know something, you have to start clearing the air yourself. Yes that is risky, but you're the one who wants to change the situation. Right now he seems convinced that what he's doing is the best thing for the situation, so if you think he's wrong and want to know why he's doing it, you have to start that conversation.
You need to tell this man, flat out, “I'm in love with you and want to be in a relationship with you. Is this something you want or nah.” No matter what the answer is, it's better than this limbo.
So, you told a man you're in love with, after having sex with him, that you guys are just friends?
And this is after, from his perspective, he was waiting to be ready to reciprocate your feelings that you confessed to him a year and a half ago?
Look. You mentioned that he's not the best at discussing his feelings, but in your post you point out that you told him one thing and meant another, and have not cleared the air with him since then. You are both bad at communicating. If you want to fix the misunderstanding, you have to be willing to make yourself understood.
From where I'm sitting it looks like one of two things happened here. Either:
After you first confessed your feelings for him, he waited until he healed from his last relationship and he could reciprocate your interest. When your relationship became sexual recently, he thought you two were finally moving toward a real romantic relationship. But your immediate insistence that you are just friends having casual benefits convinced him that maybe you had moved on from your feelings and never intended to act on them, and that he had pushed you into something you didn't want, so he's pulling away. After you two became sexual, you insisted you were just friends and he realized you were lying and that you actually did still have feelings for him and that this wasn't casual for you, and he actually doesn't reciprocate the feelings you once confessed to, and now he feels bad for misreading you as having moved on. So now he's pulling away to try to avoid hurting you more.
I personally think from the situation you described, 1 is more likely but 2 is not off the table either. And there is NO way to know for sure until you clear the air.
It's a frustrating fact about life that sometimes you have to bet something to win something. If you want to get something out of him, you can't just keep hinting and pining and waiting for him to confess something to you. You can't play your cards that close forever. If you want to know something, you have to start clearing the air yourself. Yes that is risky, but you're the one who wants to change the situation. Right now he seems convinced that what he's doing is the best thing for the situation, so if you think he's wrong and want to know why he's doing it, you have to start that conversation.
You need to tell this man, flat out, “I'm in love with you and want to be in a relationship with you. Is this something you want or nah.” No matter what the answer is, it's better than this limbo.
She paid you back. You were trying to get your dick wet. And I’m sure the reason why you went for her is because you saw her shitty mistake as a chance that she’d go in and commit adultery again.
She’s probably torn up she lost a friend especially when she clearly fucked up her life. She’s trying to do better so if you see her as anyone valuable in your life, do what she’s doing. In the terms you deserve, fuck right off. Just another annoying cringe adulterer that wants pity even though you were literally trying to ruin your own family.
What you didn't know is that I have built up an immunity to iocane powder over the years.
Oh I’m not making excuses for him. He’s a total shit. But what do you suppose the reason is they can’t go to her place? She’s probably married, too. I don’t really care about a test or his interest. She’s likely stepping out, too, so she gets what she gets, fair or not. Unless she gives a valid reason for not being able to use her own place, that’s what I’m going with.
Yeah, I'm kinda kicking myself for not figuring out earlier that his traditional was actually him wanting a bang maid. He said his wife would not pay bills. Should have known that equalled she won't have a job or money to do so. Some women enjoy it, but a lot of women end up financially abused, treated like servants, and just have the life sucked out of them. Gotta have the right man to be in that lifestyle, and chauvinism doesn't exactly promise a happy home life for the wife.
Her friends also dont on-line through fucking airplane shootings and airport takeovers so i guess thats another win for them
Yes and it is healthy to have boundaries with some matters. Over time, I have given a bit more information when things came up for me but its not helpful to just pour out information on your partner so good on you two for thinking through before you speak.
I hope this is story you three can laugh about later on and maybe share with others. Until then, just enjoy my schadefreude laugh I have.
She's 100% getting off on being desired and unobtainable to you.
I'm gonna bet that you actually did a great job of not expressing attraction and just being a friend after she turned you down. Which is the right thing to do, but doesn't give her the satisfaction of continuing to feel wanted.
Unless you left out some other major flirting incidents don't get excited about this in the slightest.
If you'd like to flip this game back on her just be completely unreactive to her flirting. Just glance at the nudes and be like “huh, yeah, those are alright” then change the topic.
If you express interest in another girl to her she'll probably start flirting intensely and saying she wants you, but only to compete for your attention. The moment you would try to take her up on it it'll vanish again.
(Only listen to this if she is treating you as an utterly platonic friend in every way except for showing you the nudes.)
She's 100% getting off on being desired and unobtainable to you.
I'm gonna bet that you actually did a great job of not expressing attraction and just being a friend after she turned you down. Which is the right thing to do, but doesn't give her the satisfaction of continuing to feel wanted.
Unless you left out some other major flirting incidents don't get excited about this in the slightest.
If you'd like to flip this game back on her just be completely unreactive to her flirting. Just glance at the nudes and be like “huh, yeah, those are alright” then change the topic.
If you express interest in another girl to her she'll probably start flirting intensely and saying she wants you, but only to compete for your attention. The moment you would try to take her up on it it'll vanish again.
(Only listen to this if she is treating you as an utterly platonic friend in every way except for showing you the nudes.)
It’s only been a month. That’s a short enough time that anyone’s true colors wouldn’t show yet. Listen to your mom
Yeah, love-bombing typically follows after doing something harmful or abusive. Unless OP had a pattern of behavior of being shitty and then doing these grand gestures to coerce his girlfriends into forgiving him, these examples just don't meet that definition.
Is it purely the lesbian aspect you have a problem with or just porn in general?
Hey, no problem. Relationships are nude and they're even harder when your foundation for them was never established in a solid way. I wish you both the best.
Well, you do you buddy but your experience is not universal.
Dude, you are bonkers. Just don’t make out with her if she gets a sore and don’t think about it ever again. This is 100% not a big deal and even thinking about getting divorced over this is nuts.
You absolutely do deserve better! Trust me with how she’s behaving says way more about her than it does about you.
“Dad, she is so rude and mean to me everytime we are all together, so I'd rather not associate with her anymore. I love you, but she is putting a strain on our relationship. From now on, I will only visit if she is not home or you can meet me at X Place.”
That is your boundary. Hopefully, he will either accept your boundary and visit when she isn't around or get rid of her. The bad thing is, you may not see him if he's not willing to respect your wishes.
It ok as long as you dump her immediately after.
Yea that’s good
You now know that you can't trust him. Any explanation or lie won't be worth much since you can't trust him. Just start making plans to be single and be aware of any other controlling behavior.
She has a personality that includes measuring a person's worth against having seen another adult's genitals. Whatever you do, take off the rose tinted glasses.
UpdateMe!
But he doesn’t use it anymore.
It doesn’t match what he did previously.
And if you are so insecure that your worth relies upon being posted about live, then you should be seeing a therapist, and not in a relationship.