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shortcakes19_, y.o.
Location: Georgia, United States
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Date: October 20, 2022
He doesn't want to get kicked out till his ew place is ready.
I just keep finding something that's a flag. It's been almost 3 years dude.
I want to emphasize that it doesn't matter how long a relationship lasts if it's a toxic and controlling one. Most abusive people (she is abusing and gaslighting you btw) do not change and they especially don't change while they can continue to abuse.
I understand that you feel trapped in this because you love her but it takes a lot more than love to make a relationship work. It takes respect and kindness. Do you think she shows you that?
lol thank you.
I’m leaving her. All this came out post moving in with me and me proposing
If you didn't discuss the possibility of pregnancy and how you'd tackle that or didn't discuss birth control options and how to correctly use them…then you probably shouldn't be having sex.
That being said, if it's in the time frame emergency contraception can be used or else you have to wait until she misses her next period to take a test and decide what the two of you are going to do.
Yes!
I feel horrible! Had no idea he was anything more than a fling at that time. It doesn't even matter that he is amazing in bed. All he heard was “small”
Oh my. You may want to reconsider a life with this person. It won’t become more harmonious, in fact you may grow to despise not just his behavior, but him as well.
To everyone who is saying he was “set up” because he could “only answer one way”, I call bullshit.
“You are beautiful.” “You are attractive.” “Your body is strong.” “I think you are wonderful.” “Don’t be mean to yourself.” “I understand being insecure about body changes, but you are desirable.”
See how none of those responses even reference her breasts? His options weren’t “lie or agree”, they were to be a supportive partner to someone during a moment of vulnerability/intimacy, or this.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for a friendship, I can tell you he doesn't have it. But what he does have is a very particular set of interests, interests he has acquired over a very long “friendship”. Interests that make him a nightmare for people like you. If you let him go now, that'll be the end of it. He will not ask you, he will not pursue you. But if you don't, he will look for you, he will find you, and he will ask you again and again… Good luck
You need to leave her and focus on you. She’s acting very spoiled and entitled to your money. There is a woman out there that will appreciate a nice dinner out and want to help You succeed.
“im tired of fighting about the same things over and over because i keep doing the same things over and over” SO STOP DOING THEM. or leave her alone and keep doing them. clearly you dont actually care about her
Can you just say you’ve had a go, you’re not ready to explore it further right now, let’s have a great time doing xy&z instead and you’ll let him know when you’re ready (if)
Why do you have a dead bedroom? This seems like a pretty crazy idea of you aren’t having a good sexual relationship.
No. Your mom is not right. She’s less supportive than your husband.
My advice would be to live together for at least 4-5 years, and then go for marriage if you both want to. Then you know each other well, know how well you vibe in daily life, and have been through some good and bad times usually.
The feeling of grief is probably not going away any time soon. Though obviously whatever the result is, that could change. But you should prepare yourself for either scenario, and especially the worst case. Hobbies are a common answer. What do you enjoy doing? Do some of that. But I’d also suggest things like physical activity. Talk to friends, family, anyone but the source of your current hurt. Life moves on. You had a life before her, you’ll have one with or without her. The only person who can get back in touch with you, is you!
I’ve told him stuff like that before but he usually brushes it off. I also don’t want him to take it the wrong way too because I only see him as a friend.
This honestly sounds like a problem you need to see a therapist about.
It's normal to have the occasional bout of self-doubt or poor self-esteem, but it's not normal to have those things affect your everyday life to this extent or make you sabortage your relationship(s).
Even if you don't consciously mean to sabortage your relationship, that's exactly what you're doing every time you ask your boyfriend loaded questions such as “Am I the most attractive person you've been with?” or fixate on little things he says or does for weeks on end. It might not pose a great threat to your relationship as a whole just yet, but it will eventually, and then it will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you'd like for your boyfriend to compliment or reassure you more often, then by all means talk to him about that. You say he has autism, so that likely makes it all the more important for both of you that you approach this directly instead of just hinting at it.
Just don't put all the responsibility on him. As much as he might know you're an insecure person, it's still not up to him to fix that for you. When you say you know deep down that he does love you and is attracted to you, you're also basically admitting that you know his feelings towards you have nothing to do with how you perceive them and how you perceive yourself.