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my first day together [220 tokens remaining]
Date: October 18, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
my first day together [220 tokens remaining]
Thanks for the advice. IK it probably sounds bad, but it’s a complicating situation that I got further into detail with in another post.
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Maybe she’s realised she can’t keep up this intensity? It’s great fun getting to know someone but life keeps happening and it can become all too much if you’re so invested in another person.
”it’s alpha alright, alpha-ind myself a new guy!”
Maybe it never felt authentic for him and he wants to express his love in a way that feels more “real” for you.
I had an ex fiancé that would encourage me to post these lengthy, over mushy statuses all the time and it was just super fake. I felt nothing typing them out honestly. I’m literally married now and would pick my partner over my ex on my partner’s worst day but I still don’t type out those mushy statuses.
This is really weird. You never should have married him without him telling his parents about your kids. Does he expect to hide them until they are 18 and moved out?
Also, we had agreed to celebrating his birthday that Thursday, when his birthday was on that Tuesday. Well, Monday night he whined and whined that he was going to be alone most of his birthday, knowing that I would feel bad for him and come over with the kids and dinner/cake/gifts. So I did, and so he got 2 birthday dinners ans presents. I feel very manipulated by him.
I don’t think she’s trying to burn a bride with me though, she just wants me to be okay with her being friends with her ex, she even said over time the attachment to him will fade.
say no and then ask if his son is cute and single
What a stupid question. how the fuck would we know what’s going on in your bf head?
The only thing we know for sure is, you need thet and that your bf should break up with you and you should not be dating until you work on yourself.
Should have changed the couple ages a little more if they didn’t want to seem so obvious about being about the same situation
There are two sides to it that I can't completely resolve, so I'll just give both, then try to find middle ground. As you'll see, I'm also big on making an informed decision.
One side is that love shouldn't be offered conditionally. That real love makes it unnecessary to have to watch your weight, under threat of losing your lover.
The other side is that love shouldn't be offered when you expect to make zero effort, compromise, or sacrifice for your partner's happiness. That, while you can and should draw boundaries around your 'essentials,' real love doesn't let you put yourself first in all things.
Your BF plainly wants a partner who won't neglect self-care, and he's not satisfied that you fit that description. I'm afraid your reservations may be feeding his doubts, but where those doubts spring from, I can't begin to guess.
OTOH I don't care one bit for his bringing it up repeatedly without cause!! And I would say so, and persist until I was clear as to just why he does that!! OTOH I give him a little credit for bringing it up before swearing his love, and proposing marriage and children. He's presented you with a choice, not a fait accompli. Listen, learn, and consider carefully. Best wishes, whatever you decide.
Sounds like some of this is him really caring about your poor kids and how he wants them to have a sober mom. He doesn’t want them to grow up without you as your addiction spirals out of control.
I think you should really try to snap out of this. It also sounds like you like to blame others for your problems: the addiction came from your coworker, the reason you won’t stop taking pills is because you can’t be seen by a mental health professional, the reason you are fighting is because your husband is “taking something not him” etc etc. You need to do some inner reflection. Your poor kids and husband just want their mom/wife back and you’re thinking about your next dose, that’s what your life has become.
Why not seek a relationship with someone who likes you and wants you to feel good?
Therapy is expensive
It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a kind of porn that’s in audio form, you just listen to it
Okay
You’re insane. Leave her family alone. If she doesn’t want to leave him, she isn’t going to. The family is going to want a restraining order against you soon
What does she want you to do, give it a trim??
Kidding. She needs to go to the gyno doctor. Sounds like vaginismus.
Yeah, there's just so much that could go wrong here. Even if it's entirely on the up-and-up, the other woman could get the wrong idea. It's just a nonsensical thing to do. Does he want to blow up his marriage? Because this is how to blow up a marriage.
She needs a therapist, not a partner at this point. Have you recommended therapy? How do you think she’d react?
The horror
Good, you need to tell people, “That's not the case, he's my son from before I was involved with [wife].” It going to be embarrassing for her, but she didn't use a lie that provided you a neat bridge to the truth.
Blocking each other and going no-contact is usually the best way to go.
You're well rid of him. Cope by realizing that and being glad you found out he's an asshole. Him being mad at your method of discovery is irrelevant.