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Date: October 18, 2022
Well he sounds pro life and that’s the biggest red flag there is in a man
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Exactly lol I don’t text my coworkers at 4 am, but how is sending a meme a harassment suit for HR? ?
Personally for me, it stems from my childhood and the way I was brought up as a perfectionist— which is ironic in a sense. So I often make remarks based around lack of common sense but again, I never intend to hurt or belittle anyone. Sometimes it’s just the only way we know how to communicate, so you too have to make an effort at understanding that there may be a little more psychological baggage in play and that she’s not in any way trying to make you feel stupid.
But yes, sitting her down to have a real conversation and bringing up these points and compromising for you to bring them up when she makes the comments, and you just wanting her to apologize and be a bit more aware but also letting her know that you’ll be more understanding will help you guys a lot!
he has these long drawn out rants about how I should think and things I should agree to. I would rather be let go than change for someone else.
Do not wait for him to “let you go.”
You should end this relationship. Take control of your life. Get rid of this tiresome guy who expects you to change into someone else.
If he wants a partner who is his Mini-Me, he needs to go find her, not try to remodel you.
Do not tolerate this. Do not try to explain why he is wrong. He will never admit you are right and he is wrong,
It might be hard to accept, but there are quite a few people that live in the moment of where they are and what they are doing and everything else disappears from their mind.
If they are on a trip then that's where their mind is, and you may as well not exist as their mind has opened a different “compartment” that you are not in.
It doesn't mean they care about you less or anything, as when they get back in their mind it will be as if your time apart never existed as they open the “compartment” with you in it back up (it's very hot to put into words well), but obviously for the other person it can be nude.
What I'm trying to say is that for some people “out of sight out of mind” is a very real thing and extends to a non-trivial issues. It tends to be just how someone is wired and you can't really change it very easily.
I'm not really sure on a solution, I think you just have to accept that is what she is like, and if it's a deal breaker for you, then you are going to have to move on.
Better sooner than later. Sometimes the trash get itself out.
Im sorry you had to endure that shitbag, hope you do well, and under any reason change who you are, no scumbag deserves that.
I'm sorry that you went through that. Is there anything other than pushing herself outside her comfort zone that she could do to reassure you? I think that's something that you should think about before even considering raising the topic with her again. Maybe you don't need to discuss this, just say “hey I'm getting a little in my head. Can I have a hug?” Or maybe you reach out to a friend so they can kindly remind you that this gf has never lashed out and that her reticence to share isn't about you.
Overall, though, this sounds like a you problem. I don't mean to be harsh, but she is not “making” you feel anxious. I have general and social anxiety, as well as a history that involves emotional abuse. My feelings are on me to manage, not on anyone around me. You're acknowledging that but still seem to be looking for permission/strategies to elicit more from her than she's currently ready to give.
If you're not in therapy already, you should get into it. Someday your kids are probably going to stop telling you everything that's going on in their lives, no matter how much they love and trust you. It's a very normal stage of development and you need to be prepared to handle it, even if your gf starts sharing more.
yup yup
It's not about the kids, he wants YOU there so you can be forced to watch him get married. He's being a vindictive garbage can. Don't go and don't cave into his nonsense.
That shoulder shrug is horrible, he’s admitting that he’ll only truly love his kids if they come out heterosexual