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Nikki Grey, 39 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Nikki Grey
Date: October 17, 2022
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I don’t think it’s necessarily that he sees her as worth less rather they view sex differently and the fact that she is so careless about because she has had multiple STD’s doesn’t align to how he feels about or practices sex.
That's so cool! Do you know who her best or closest friends are and could you ask them what she's currently into when she's not around? You could also make a voucher to help her out with a TikTok video or make one with your friends for her, for example.
Something that may help you to understand why he is so hurt is that those of us on the spectrum tend to be very direct and sincere in communicating desires. When he said he wanted to try speaking your language with your family, he was offering to put himself in the vulnerable position of possibly making a mistake (as it sounds like he was still learning), but trusted you enough to try anyway. That gets compounded by the social dynamics that are shared amongst you, as the people we (as human beings) love weild greater power to cause emotional distress due to the fact that we (humans in general) tend to care what they think significantly more. Give him time to process his emotions. Delayed emotional processing is common with ASD, so it's likely he didn't even realize how upset he was until the catalyst of your surprise at his level of proficiency in speaking your language stirred up the emotions he hadn't realized he felt. Be kind. Be patient. Respect his boundaries going forward if you want to avoid doing more damage.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and big apology in advance if I sound harsh. But, if you stay and accept this your husband will have two submissive women, one for sex and another to coddle him at home, win-win for him, lose-lose for you.
He’s choosing her over you, you don’t get a say in that. Clearly he doesn’t value the friendship as much as you do. This is fairly common with friendships like this as it’s a dealbreaker for a lot of people. If you really were his best friend, he wouldn’t be letting her dictate to him who his friends are. You two have never dated or hooked up, so there’s no reason for her to be this upset except for her own insecurities. All you can do is talk to him and let him know what you expect out of your friendship. And that with all the restrictions, you don’t really see the point in continuing the friendship. I certainly wouldn’t. It’s going to dwindle until it’s gone anyways. That’s what she wants and he’s going to give it to her because of his own lack of experience. imo she is toxic and that’s why you should have the conversation. If they break up, it’s not because of you, it’s because he needs to stand up for himself and his friendships and learn to set boundaries with the people he dates. It just sucks that you two might lose this friendship because he’s not willing to do that.
No. No one with a little bit of common sense will not blame you. You are 100% right in the way you are thinking. I would suggest that you ask her to join you for a marriage counseling. It's a must. There can be many reasons for her not wanting to have sex. The two reasons that I know of are:-
Some women lose their interest in sex after delivering a baby. Some people fall in love with someone else and will not want to have sex with their partner.
I would suggest that you check her mobile or hire a PI to rule out the second reason. If it is not the second reason then, get a MC for the both of you. If she do not agree to the MC, find the best lawyer you can find and serve her the papers. Tell her its either MC or divorce.
I wish you all the very best.
According to your other comments this “bizarre” one seems pretty spot on.
?. My best friend reminds me of that question when I’m having a guy problem
It’s OK for you to have firm boundaries about this. You get to decide what you are OK with. You have expressed you’re not OK with the arrangement, how did he respond to that? Does he show that he really cares about how you feel? Or does he brush off your feelings as being unreasonable and you’re silly?
Female high body count is linked with ability of pairbonding, ability to sustain ltr or marriage, concept of telegony etc.
People can ask everything to their partner. You owe nothing but honesty to your partner.
I kindly advise you to look at scientific papers about relationship between female partner count and pairbonding,telegony, divorce rate.
I really dont understand how western society forcing themselves to believe female and male are same
Ever watch the Tinder Swindler on Netflix?
Make you think she's pregnant, then cons you out of Child Support.
I feel bad for OP. If you get cheated on multiple times through phone usage, you're going to be paranoid of your S/O on their phone at night…
You deserve each other.
It’s not you dude. Ask her to stop comparing you to others in her past as you are not them nor want to be. Your just beginning this relationship and you are being you and don’t feel the need to be altered. Middle of the road is a good place to be.
Don’t meet up ?
If you keep eating waffle cakes i will break up with you is a boundary, but it’s an unreasonable one used to leverage a relationship to control someone. You can get into semantics all you like defending an absolutely ridiculous comparison and give your smug little responses. That’s fine by me.
All his family on-line abroad so it’s only my family and a friend of ours who buys him gifts. My family always buys him something small like chocolates or gives him money because they know how picky he is. Our friend gets him small things and sometimes he likes them and sometimes he doesn’t but each time he pretends he loves it to be polite. He acts really happy and enthusiastic whereas I get a “aww, thanks, it’s nice but…”. Some of the things he’s been given over the years are glass kitchenware, a nice bottle of wine, and ironically a Japanese knife which he now loves and says it’s much better than the one I got him. He says I should know he really loves me because he can be totally honest with me and doesn’t have to pretend.
Hell yeah
You don't have self respect man why is she hour gf till now she cheated you she shouldn't be your gf..
He didn’t tell me why he didn’t respond initially
And no. It’s Reddit.
Even if the pictures are not sexual, the good thing to do is to respect her decision and delete the pictures. Yes, they mean a lot to you, but pictures always come and go. They'll be more pictures in the future, and she'll learn not to fear that you'll use them against her but that you cherish them as much as she will when it gets to that point.
Don't die on this hill. Be understanding of her decision and the future both of you will have.
Listen, she was stripping before she met you. She probably enjoys the convenience of that lifestyle. Unless you can afford to fund that lifestyle for her, there is no way she is going to give up working a few days a month for a 9-5 grind at a convenience store. It's just not something that someone would have any motivation to do when they're already doing perfectly fine. It would be unreasonable for you to ask her to do this without also offering to support her through it. And that is a lot to put on your shoulders right now, as well as hers. My advice? Get over it for now. Continue to develop yourself and your career, enjoy your relationship. As you mature together and the future together becomes a higher priority your mutual goals will evolve as well. She will likely not strip forever. Don't sweat it rn, it can totally work itself out of the relationship in the long run.
Have you heard about the poophole loophole? This kind of thing is quite normal in religious communities.
It makes a person horny = it's sexual No, it's not people making it sexual, that's how things work.
Not untrue. He sounds like he might need to check his bias.
I don't think it makes any difference. Waiting a while might weed out guys who only want sex, but having sex with someone genuinely interested in you won't make them less interested.
DATE LOCALLY!
no marriage survives a dead bedroom. better for the kids to not have parents resenting each other
It's probably worth a conversation. It doesn't sound like the money is the biggest problem here; it's the lack of compassion. Honestly, the better way to handle it would have been to just answer
what tshirt?
…if you left something at my old place, I was able to take one suitcase home; so it would have ended up in the garbage
I don't know if I would have entertained paying for it in your shoes; but I probably would have dropped him a text to say sorry / nude luck at the time. I certainly wouldnt have asked for the money in his shoes – so that says a lot about him too.
It's not really the sisters fault when she see her brother still having a relationship with his abuser. I mean look at it from her perspective, op never filed charges and still comes by for a laugh and a drink. I doubt he has even told her the full scope of what happened.
Sometimes love is not enough.
He left because you lied.
You're too old for this and it's affecting your kid negatively. Make a plan and leave.
I assume if you go ahead with this plan it’ll be solely your house and he will have no official claim to it in case it doesn’t work out? That’s the only way this is an even remotely reasonable arrangement.
Well i'm just there thinking “was she peeing while a guy was standing there looking at her???” And to me that's more disturbing than anything else…
Sounds like drugs, and when they kicked in her behaviour changed.
Moral of the story, never go to the bathroom
The is norm is a man 2-3 years older not 12 ?
Blowing it out of proportion misses the point.
Her feelings are hurt. Shes having an insecure moment. Instead of rolling your eyes at her being dramatic. Be gentle. Follow her into the room and remind her that you married her. You love her. She's more than enough for you. You think she's the sexiest woman you've ever seen. Reassure her all the things you adore about her.
Then, at a separate time, when it's not emotional and heated and tense, ask if she would be open to taking charge more in the bedroom. Boost her confidence. Tell her it turns you on to think of her taking charge – just her. Not other women. Not movie stars. That you have a badass wife you'd love to see boss you around a bit. If she's open to it. Be patient and supportive if she feels weird. Go from there. It's worth a try.
I always think the first plan you made takes priority. You have arranged to see him that weekend so yes I’d say it would be a bit crappy to now bail on those plans. Saying this, maybe your gf would enjoy time with her dad on her own, I know I do. Why don’t you tell her the ski date changed in a casual way and from her response you can gauge her thoughts?
You think once you are married, this is going to magically change. If you aren’t compatible, move on.
If you check the phone bill you will find a call or a text message from him to your wife while you were driving home. She knew about it before you arrived home.
And within a matter of days…. Not even years of fantasy or pining or whatnot… but just, she said no and Op was like ‘oke, will be getting it elsewhere then….’
I think the rape fantasy was just bullshit cause he wanted a ‘reason’ to cheat on her.
I hope she finds out
Were you not aware that men watch porn?
But it's not going to get better the longer it drags on. His sperm quality is degrading as he gets older for bio kids, not to mention his ability to keep up with them as they grow.
Sometimes you have to be the better person and break up with them for their own good.
And your own.
You deserve to rest after all you've been through. You can't rest around him.
I am confused on a few things here. She worries about getting drunk or high around you because of past trauma, but is perfectly fine doing it with complete strangers? That doesn't make sense. Something in her actions and what she does and how she acts just doesn't mesh up together.
You should have asked her why hes a 10/10 then to her? Anyways, she’s psycho but you should have never contacted her after. Dont do it again op
You are creating your own misery by not being a decent friend. She told him the truth and told you what you wanted to hear. Grow up. You are not setting boundaries when it comes to telling her what she can and cannot do. You are trying to be a manipulative dictator. A boundary is asking her to not talk about him to you.
Where did you learn to settle for breadcrumbs? Find a real partner…your values don’t line up. Someone that gives as much as they take and will care for you. You must have felt very alone as a child to choose someone like this and think it’s normal.
nah I don’t want to break up with him. I’m going to make it work even if I have to rehearse over a hundred times telling myself that I don’t want nathan
If he couldn’t help peeing, like he could have peed else where, where they were having sex.
So I was in your position once, around a decade ago, and I had to learn back then that sometimes, a bit of tact goes a long way. What happened to me was that I had gotten my driver's license, but I hated driving so much that I just decided to not do it ever again – and I indeed haven't. When I started off my adult working life, my new – older – colleagues were very put off when they asked me about driving and I flat-out told them I don't drive and don't plan on doing it ever again. My mother then told me that it's not very diplomatic to just act so stubborn, even if I wasn't in the wrong, and that just going along with others and softening messages can go a long way.
What this means is that the issue isn't that you don't want to extend the trip – which is your good right – but that you don't make your girlfriend feel heard. By not even looking at the prices despite you liking that city she wants to go to, you sent a message of someone just being stubborn and possibly afraid to be wrong. Instead, if you had put in the five minutes to yes, look at the prices, to then tell her again how much in total you want to spend and how it's obviously not doable, you would have made her feel heard without betraying your position.
However, I also understand that she isn't listening to you not wanting to take more time off. And that is something you can negotiate by telling her, after you looked at the prices with her: “Okay, so, as I told you, I am willing to spend X money and take Y days off. If you want to visit that city so badly, then we need to cut something else out of the trip, like not visiting one of the other two cities and, because of the higher price in the city you want to see, we also will have a shorter trip since I can only afford two nights there instead of four. What is your suggestion?” Basically, give her the numbers to work with and see what she comes up with – at this point, it isn't clear to me how important that one city is for her. Maybe she is so insistent because it's more important to her than the other two combined, in which case the trip planning should maybe be redone completely.
Sounds exhausting and humiliating. Why would you want to be with him?
You’re not compatible. He likes them. You hate them. This will never work.
Step 1: Get that capslock key fixed.