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  1. I guess that makes sense. However I do know that she isn’t over her ex that she broke up with in May of last year.

  2. I see several issues here him for yelling at you and you for trying to be to controlling. People have different beliefs like it or lump it, you alone often can’t ever change someone’s mind that’s how the world works. You are talking about something that’s not tangible and a lot of people don’t experience, so it’s hot to try and force them into a belief that’s not their “reality”.

  3. What else? Talk to her.

    Nonetheless, if all that she's withdrawing from is the physical aspect of your relationship, consider that she probably doesn't like the specific way you two make love. First question with a lesbian couple is each member's stance on penetration, then how active and passive each of you is in the bedroom, then how do each of you communicate your needs, then you start to make your own questions. And the most common complaint, iirc, is a lack of reciprocity (that one feels like she does everything while the other one just lays down and receives pleasure).

  4. God, please don't marry him. I know you're scared and sometimes it's easier to just go with the safe and least stressful feeling options but this won't get easier and it won't “blow over” once the wedding happens. After you've married him it will be another threat every week. He will start saying stuff like, if you don't have Boxing Day dinner done perfectly for his family he will kill you. If you don't do his laundry he will harm you. Then he WILL start moving on to physical violence if he hasn't already. Etc etc. Trust me, it doesn't get better.

    There is already some good advice here. But please, try to safely and secure get away from this man and his family. They don't wish you any good. A wedding isn't something that anyone should take such offense over, nor should be threatening harm to someone over. It should be an event filled with love and excitement. Especially towards the bride.

    Don't let him know that you plan on leaving until you secure plans to get away. Take only what you need. If you need resources and help with things you can DM me, I am in the US but I have experienced this since childhood and then in my adult years with my husband and had to get away myself. So I could try to help find what agencies in your area are there to help you and your family with things like protection orders and whatnot.

  5. Listen, let me say I understand your struggle. I come from a home that went back for generations of abuse. My dad tried to break away and the cycle, and he kind of did, but kept the abuse part. Not a single person from his family showed up for his associates, bachelors, and masters graduation. Absolutely no one. Just me, my brothers, and my mom. I broke away before his masters. And you know what? I would much rather spend my graduation with myself than a bunch of POS people who don’t care about me. OP, they don’t care about you and they never will. That’s the sad truth. Your love is one-sided. Tbh, if I were you, I would forget about the headache and go NC. But, that’s a decision you need to make. Congratulations on your medical degree!

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