So I asked him why he would tell me not to worry about it, to stay positive, and to not get myself down about it, to look at the opportunities that life has still, and to focus on my career, and my education.
OP, this is a really nice thing to say to an ex. I mean, really nice.
I'm afraid you could've had a great ending with a great chance to chat at a much later date, but you might have fucked that up. He was right to do what he did, and you're just going to have to deal with that.
If he lives with family and has not introduced you there is something seriously wrong going on. Also no posts about you on social. I bet nobody knows about you.
On the surface, as another comment said, connection trumps type. My “type” is dark hair, dark eyes. I've been married to a ginger for almost 20 years lol. When it comes to celebrity “crushes” it is still always my type I find attractive but I also think my husband is amazing and sexy and have never wished he looked any different. So I don't believe that a type, or not being with your type, necessarily dooms a relationship.
But your further comments about her bringing that up so often is concerning and warrants a deep conversation about her intentions in this relationship. It might be something totally benign, maybe she just finds it interesting to herself that she's so into you in spite of what her traditional type was, or maybe it's something deeper. The fact that it's bothering you and making you doubt your relationship (or yourself) needs to be made clear to her because if she cannot stop saying it when she knows it's hurting you, well, that's another thing entirely.
Go to your graduation. Choose you. You deserve your day in the spotlight. Becoming a doctor is a massive accomplishment and I'm so proud of you! You're going to do amazing things and help a lot of people. Missing a wedding isn't the end of the world no matter how much your family might say it is. You're just as important and if they can't see that, it's their loss.
I live in a no-fault state so no legal relevance. He is a serial cheater and a master at spinning lies. I want to avoid all of that.
Uhhh try befriending her first.
I think she'd freak out if a random stranger gives her a bunch if portaits of her.
At least improve your relationship from stranger to friendly.
Also they knew enough to go to the bedroom to hide it somewhat. That requires planning. They took steps.
So I asked him why he would tell me not to worry about it, to stay positive, and to not get myself down about it, to look at the opportunities that life has still, and to focus on my career, and my education.
OP, this is a really nice thing to say to an ex. I mean, really nice.
I'm afraid you could've had a great ending with a great chance to chat at a much later date, but you might have fucked that up. He was right to do what he did, and you're just going to have to deal with that.
If he lives with family and has not introduced you there is something seriously wrong going on. Also no posts about you on social. I bet nobody knows about you.
following for part 2
On the surface, as another comment said, connection trumps type. My “type” is dark hair, dark eyes. I've been married to a ginger for almost 20 years lol. When it comes to celebrity “crushes” it is still always my type I find attractive but I also think my husband is amazing and sexy and have never wished he looked any different. So I don't believe that a type, or not being with your type, necessarily dooms a relationship.
But your further comments about her bringing that up so often is concerning and warrants a deep conversation about her intentions in this relationship. It might be something totally benign, maybe she just finds it interesting to herself that she's so into you in spite of what her traditional type was, or maybe it's something deeper. The fact that it's bothering you and making you doubt your relationship (or yourself) needs to be made clear to her because if she cannot stop saying it when she knows it's hurting you, well, that's another thing entirely.
Go to your graduation. Choose you. You deserve your day in the spotlight. Becoming a doctor is a massive accomplishment and I'm so proud of you! You're going to do amazing things and help a lot of people. Missing a wedding isn't the end of the world no matter how much your family might say it is. You're just as important and if they can't see that, it's their loss.