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This session a but extre, they invited her to stay with them, she's a guest, yes she should be picking up after herself I agree but they did say she's going through metal health issues, which can mess with executive function.
The gay stereotyping is just weird advice. They've ve passive aggressive with their hints instead of communicating like an adult you suggest bring in a person to insult their guest leavingvthem still looking good in your mind.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
You’re putting your wedding on the line for a pipe dream. Those sites are a scam. They lure in “models” like yourself with the promise of selling your feet pics for tons of money. It’s so easy, right?! Not exactly. You have to pay to be a part of that site; you have to find the buyers; you have to advertise; you have to continually change your content…all to sell a pic for $5?
If your fiancé is willing to cancel your wedding without talking about this idea in detail, your relationship has bigger problems.
And they think IM crazy because I have a problem with it. She says she’s happy doing what she does and this is how she wants to live life. But it makes me sad. 🙁 I don’t think that’s the truth and I hope I can get her out of this hole.
This is just bizarre behavior on his part. I don't know if you live together or are planning a future together, which I guess would give him a slightly legitimate interest in your finances, but it sounds like you haven't combined accounts or anything. So like you say, this doesn't have a ton to do with him. Not to mention that it wasn't even your mistake, you did double check, and because it wasn't your mistake there's a way to make it right. No call for him to be so mocking and definitely no call for the bossy and rude behavior, telling you he's barely controlling his anger and then giving you the silent treatment.
The one thing I would say is that it is a little weird that you didn't notice funds being automatically withdrawn from your account for over a year. If I were your partner, I might be a little concerned that you needed to be more on top of things. But then again, you're frickin' 20 years old. You have time to learn those sorts of things and *anger* definitely isn't the correct response.
So I'm pretty sure that your bf broke up with you in a state of shock but then wanted you back 2 weeks later but never really came to terms with you cheating, hasn't really spoken to you about it properly and is therefore doing this to “communicate” how he feels about the whole thing.
Best would be to take a break from each other at this point.
I was trying naked to keep cool while flipping my shit inside.
I think this is the crux of your mistake – stop trying to keep cool. Your partner lied to you – you don't just “feel like” he lied, it was absolutely a lie and also, if you ask me, theft- and this soft language and attempts to keep cool are not helping you. Your partner is dishonest, which is a red flag, and he is trying to make this “not a big deal” while it 1000% is a big deal, so ACT as if it is. Stop keeping cool, put your foot down.
There are more red flags here, btw. Like the fact that your fiance does not believe in financial infidelity – like what? Sooo… he can also commit this financial infidelity and it's not a problem, since it “doesn't exist”. Explains why he STOLE your money and sees no issue with it… All in all, there's consistency here. But it should worry you.
Getting defensive when a legit issue is brought up is also a red flag, a big one. How can you ever discuss any problems and resolve them, if he just gets defensive and shuts the convo down? The answer is, you can't… I don't even know how to build a serious partnership if you can't have those conversations with your partner.
An orange flag I see is that you believe having your own money in your own account is abusive. That is completely absurd, and I took a double-take when i read it. But you got this idea from somewhere… was it your fiance? Because if it was then YIKES ON TRIKES.
This session a but extre, they invited her to stay with them, she's a guest, yes she should be picking up after herself I agree but they did say she's going through metal health issues, which can mess with executive function.
The gay stereotyping is just weird advice. They've ve passive aggressive with their hints instead of communicating like an adult you suggest bring in a person to insult their guest leavingvthem still looking good in your mind.
Hello /u/Rich_Product_7508,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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You’re putting your wedding on the line for a pipe dream. Those sites are a scam. They lure in “models” like yourself with the promise of selling your feet pics for tons of money. It’s so easy, right?! Not exactly. You have to pay to be a part of that site; you have to find the buyers; you have to advertise; you have to continually change your content…all to sell a pic for $5?
If your fiancé is willing to cancel your wedding without talking about this idea in detail, your relationship has bigger problems.
if she is with you, likely all well down there.
Not necessarily. It's probably good enough for now. And by the way she's going on about this other dude, probably wants something more.
And they think IM crazy because I have a problem with it. She says she’s happy doing what she does and this is how she wants to live life. But it makes me sad. 🙁 I don’t think that’s the truth and I hope I can get her out of this hole.
This is just bizarre behavior on his part. I don't know if you live together or are planning a future together, which I guess would give him a slightly legitimate interest in your finances, but it sounds like you haven't combined accounts or anything. So like you say, this doesn't have a ton to do with him. Not to mention that it wasn't even your mistake, you did double check, and because it wasn't your mistake there's a way to make it right. No call for him to be so mocking and definitely no call for the bossy and rude behavior, telling you he's barely controlling his anger and then giving you the silent treatment.
The one thing I would say is that it is a little weird that you didn't notice funds being automatically withdrawn from your account for over a year. If I were your partner, I might be a little concerned that you needed to be more on top of things. But then again, you're frickin' 20 years old. You have time to learn those sorts of things and *anger* definitely isn't the correct response.
You basically told her, “I see you as fuck toy but not worthy of a relationship”
So I'm pretty sure that your bf broke up with you in a state of shock but then wanted you back 2 weeks later but never really came to terms with you cheating, hasn't really spoken to you about it properly and is therefore doing this to “communicate” how he feels about the whole thing.
Best would be to take a break from each other at this point.
Yeah, I hear you and I agree. It’s the expectation that’s the issue.
I was trying naked to keep cool while flipping my shit inside.
I think this is the crux of your mistake – stop trying to keep cool. Your partner lied to you – you don't just “feel like” he lied, it was absolutely a lie and also, if you ask me, theft- and this soft language and attempts to keep cool are not helping you. Your partner is dishonest, which is a red flag, and he is trying to make this “not a big deal” while it 1000% is a big deal, so ACT as if it is. Stop keeping cool, put your foot down.
There are more red flags here, btw. Like the fact that your fiance does not believe in financial infidelity – like what? Sooo… he can also commit this financial infidelity and it's not a problem, since it “doesn't exist”. Explains why he STOLE your money and sees no issue with it… All in all, there's consistency here. But it should worry you.
Getting defensive when a legit issue is brought up is also a red flag, a big one. How can you ever discuss any problems and resolve them, if he just gets defensive and shuts the convo down? The answer is, you can't… I don't even know how to build a serious partnership if you can't have those conversations with your partner.
An orange flag I see is that you believe having your own money in your own account is abusive. That is completely absurd, and I took a double-take when i read it. But you got this idea from somewhere… was it your fiance? Because if it was then YIKES ON TRIKES.