It's only obvious that he's a liar and he'll probably lie to you again. So no I wouldn't trust him because if he lied about that chances are he's lied about something else that you are unaware of.
The trick is to do it in group settings and also change the topic if something gets sexual. It also helps to say you're trying to be more outgoing to build a social network.
There are gonna be guys that misinterpret that. But for the most part you should be good.
I have been looking for ways to get into a good college, just studying up on some stuff and getting more information about certain majors, everything is just so expensive…
Thr only tims in 2 years I haven't seen my gf in more than 2 weeks was this past month because of covid. And even then I still visited to drop supplies.
It sucks to say byt you're not dealing with how to get your bf back. You're dealing with the aftermath of a break up. Even when mad it should never take this long to reconcile otherwise there are underlying issues in the relationship gone unaddressed. It's a cold realization.
I was on them for 4/5 years I came off this year there could be a lot of factors at play how long has your wife been on them they do take a few weeks to start working proper and that's even if she is on the right ones and the only way to tell this is by trial and error, have patience at least your wife is seeking help that's positive I'm guessing your attitude towards this is not helpful at all and will not improve her mental state
have you actually heard him ask the other team this, or is this what he’s telling you?
by your own definition, your BF worships Kobe, a notorious ballhog. he only cares about winning. he will do whatever it takes to be the center of a team because he thinks that’s the best idea. he was extremely vocal about benching the only trans player, and when he lost, he immediately became extremely vocal that Jacob’s transness was the only reason he won.
that’s not someone who gets chosen as “male athlete of the year”! he might get best male athlete of the year, or MVP, but from everything you’ve said, this is more of a sportsmanship/effort award. your boyfriend is a dick, plain and simple. being competitive explains him being a dick, but it does not excuse it.
I did mention it was the first time my partner has been to my Aunties home. That he would probably feel it is overstepping some sort of boundary. I don't think my father thought it was a good enough excuse ?
Threatening suicide, stalking, blaming you for his bad behavior…all signs of an abusive relationship. Block him and his family every way you can and go on with your life.
My first love was this kind of situation-ish. We only knew each other for 10 days before he went back to his base as a Marine for 9 months….& then I flew to see him for 7 days.
Then almost another year before we were together again. Then another 9 months.
It was torture. We would talk through email (it was the early 2000’s) and plan phone calls and send letters & small VCR videos to each other. I felt like I loved him so much, but I didn’t know what it was like to on-line with him.
It’s really hard unless you have the money (& time off) to visit more.
After he was out of the marines, we lived in the same city about 6 months together about 8 months living together after.
I thought our love was so strong (We we’re both about your age)……but he wasn’t right for me in the long term.
I had to come to terms with that.
And that was a long term commitment that I had made to someone that I barely knew, just like you.
Please analyze your situation. Yes, stay friends, stay in contact. But don’t change your whole life for him just yet.
Your life is so much ahead of you. There are many people that you can have an attraction with.
The idea that a person is the “right one” can create the butterfly feelings as if they are. I’ll tell you from experience that feeling isn’t always genuine for the long term.
I feel your pain and desire of something you think may be more than it is. Give it time. Be happy in yourself first. Find you. Then find a person worthy of sharing time with.
She is allowed to wear whatever she wants – within legal parameters. And you are allowed to not like that. You are also allowed to have boundaries but that doesn't mean getting to control what she wears. Your choice is to either accept what she's wearing, or end the relationship and find someone who dresses conservatively enough for you.
…so? How is that anybody’s concern but hers? Every choice we make “narrows the market”. Go brunette? Narrows. Religious? Narrows. Have ANY tattoos or piercings? Narrows. Believe in a woman’s right to choose? Narrow. Believe in life at conception? Narrows.
She’s doing what the fuck she wants to her body. If OP doesn’t find it attractive he’s entitled to either deal with it or end things just like any other aspect of her he may not like. Would I personally ever get that tattoo? Fuck no. But it’s not my crotch so wtf does my opinion matter.
He seems to have put some emphasis on your “moods.” And he is indebted to you not only financially, but as well as you having left your normal life behind for him. This can have a strange effect on a man’s ego in him maybe feeling like he owes a little too much and isn’t on equal footing in the relationship. Wanting time together and feeling you owe time together are different things with completely different motivations.
Is there any good reason not to tell her? I don't think you have any obligation to, but absolutely it would be a kind thing to do. Also will probably feel pretty good.
Yeah no doubt it’s part of the job and disrespectful, especially since she lied to me saying she works at an izakaya. I gotta confront her and let her know I don’t play that way.
It doesn't sound like this person was ever your friend, and frankly, I'd be concerned how he got your contact details. However, you aren't obliged to be his friend. If he's making you uncomfortable, you can absolutely block him, and don't feel bad about it. You have a responsibility to your own mental health.
Could say ' I'm sorry but I'm not attracted to you in a romantic way. I think youre cool and like your personality. However, I value our friendship more rather than risk losing it. ”
You're technically not telling a lie. You're not attracted to Trans people and well, that's that. You're not being rude or disrespectful about it. You don't have to directly point out why as that may just cause way more unnecessary pain for them. You'd also risk losing the friendship otherwise.
Could say ' I'm sorry but I'm not attracted to you in a romantic way. I think youre cool and like your personality. However, I value our friendship more rather than risk losing it. ”
You're technically not telling a lie. You're not attracted to Trans people and well, that's that. You're not being rude or disrespectful about it. You don't have to directly point out why as that may just cause way more unnecessary pain for them. You'd also risk losing the friendship otherwise.
Yep. This is going to be an issue for your entire relationship if you stay together. Pretty much learn how to “enjoy” giving head or move on. This is part of the dating process.
“Our relationship” jesus now you are fully aware that he was in a relationship with another woman. And the amount of disrespect in NO blocking them in social media?
Listen if this is the life you want to live at least you are now fully informed your partner has engaged in full relationships behind your back, and doesn’t cut ties with the other women.
OP your birthday is the least of your worries…the fact that he doesn’t do anything for you for your birthdays is only a symptom of the deeper, ACTUAL problem: he’s a raging asshole.
The cons list is a bit longer Could ruin a perfectly good friendship Any future relationship you have could have a problem with you being friends with her. It could ruin her current relationship What if you caught feelings or she did but weren't reciprocated
Have a final talk with her. Is this the kind of BS you want in your life? Break up with her
It's only obvious that he's a liar and he'll probably lie to you again. So no I wouldn't trust him because if he lied about that chances are he's lied about something else that you are unaware of.
The trick is to do it in group settings and also change the topic if something gets sexual. It also helps to say you're trying to be more outgoing to build a social network.
There are gonna be guys that misinterpret that. But for the most part you should be good.
I have been looking for ways to get into a good college, just studying up on some stuff and getting more information about certain majors, everything is just so expensive…
He can’t just no-show to work… he offered to take you, you said no, then you asked the next day presumably right before he had to go to work?
Thr only tims in 2 years I haven't seen my gf in more than 2 weeks was this past month because of covid. And even then I still visited to drop supplies.
It sucks to say byt you're not dealing with how to get your bf back. You're dealing with the aftermath of a break up. Even when mad it should never take this long to reconcile otherwise there are underlying issues in the relationship gone unaddressed. It's a cold realization.
I was on them for 4/5 years I came off this year there could be a lot of factors at play how long has your wife been on them they do take a few weeks to start working proper and that's even if she is on the right ones and the only way to tell this is by trial and error, have patience at least your wife is seeking help that's positive I'm guessing your attitude towards this is not helpful at all and will not improve her mental state
run
Throw her out and break up. This is a ground ball. Don’t overthink it. Do you want someone that doesn’t love and respect you.
I’m with you …just let her go and be you .
have you actually heard him ask the other team this, or is this what he’s telling you?
by your own definition, your BF worships Kobe, a notorious ballhog. he only cares about winning. he will do whatever it takes to be the center of a team because he thinks that’s the best idea. he was extremely vocal about benching the only trans player, and when he lost, he immediately became extremely vocal that Jacob’s transness was the only reason he won.
that’s not someone who gets chosen as “male athlete of the year”! he might get best male athlete of the year, or MVP, but from everything you’ve said, this is more of a sportsmanship/effort award. your boyfriend is a dick, plain and simple. being competitive explains him being a dick, but it does not excuse it.
Ew. Tell him you will not longer have sex with a man who is to selfish to make sure you get off as well.
Now its time you cut her off, for good.
I did mention it was the first time my partner has been to my Aunties home. That he would probably feel it is overstepping some sort of boundary. I don't think my father thought it was a good enough excuse ?
Would you be saying the same thing if a woman was disappointed she had two sons and couldn’t pass on a female name from her side of the family?
What is there to value?
Threatening suicide, stalking, blaming you for his bad behavior…all signs of an abusive relationship. Block him and his family every way you can and go on with your life.
He’s a royal scumbag for using her in that way.
IDK what you should do but staying with him is not a vibe.
Run!
Keep the kitties… get rid of the BF.
My first love was this kind of situation-ish. We only knew each other for 10 days before he went back to his base as a Marine for 9 months….& then I flew to see him for 7 days.
Then almost another year before we were together again. Then another 9 months.
It was torture. We would talk through email (it was the early 2000’s) and plan phone calls and send letters & small VCR videos to each other. I felt like I loved him so much, but I didn’t know what it was like to on-line with him.
It’s really hard unless you have the money (& time off) to visit more.
After he was out of the marines, we lived in the same city about 6 months together about 8 months living together after.
I thought our love was so strong (We we’re both about your age)……but he wasn’t right for me in the long term.
I had to come to terms with that.
And that was a long term commitment that I had made to someone that I barely knew, just like you.
Please analyze your situation. Yes, stay friends, stay in contact. But don’t change your whole life for him just yet.
Your life is so much ahead of you. There are many people that you can have an attraction with.
The idea that a person is the “right one” can create the butterfly feelings as if they are. I’ll tell you from experience that feeling isn’t always genuine for the long term.
I feel your pain and desire of something you think may be more than it is. Give it time. Be happy in yourself first. Find you. Then find a person worthy of sharing time with.
Tell him to mind his own damn business about what pets you have in your home.
No
You should probably reword this so it doesn’t violate the AITA rule on this sub. You could also post this to r/AITA.
Regardless of where you post this/how you reword this, most sensible people are going to give the same answer no. It’s your body, your choice!
She is allowed to wear whatever she wants – within legal parameters. And you are allowed to not like that. You are also allowed to have boundaries but that doesn't mean getting to control what she wears. Your choice is to either accept what she's wearing, or end the relationship and find someone who dresses conservatively enough for you.
…so? How is that anybody’s concern but hers? Every choice we make “narrows the market”. Go brunette? Narrows. Religious? Narrows. Have ANY tattoos or piercings? Narrows. Believe in a woman’s right to choose? Narrow. Believe in life at conception? Narrows.
She’s doing what the fuck she wants to her body. If OP doesn’t find it attractive he’s entitled to either deal with it or end things just like any other aspect of her he may not like. Would I personally ever get that tattoo? Fuck no. But it’s not my crotch so wtf does my opinion matter.
Some people Date with the intention of getting married and having kids. It's definitely something that needs to be discussed prior to marriage.
Sorry, I think I wrote that badly. My brother is two years younger than me.
He seems to have put some emphasis on your “moods.” And he is indebted to you not only financially, but as well as you having left your normal life behind for him. This can have a strange effect on a man’s ego in him maybe feeling like he owes a little too much and isn’t on equal footing in the relationship. Wanting time together and feeling you owe time together are different things with completely different motivations.
Is there any good reason not to tell her? I don't think you have any obligation to, but absolutely it would be a kind thing to do. Also will probably feel pretty good.
I would react both ways.
Your sister interfering in your relationship gave me the cringe.
What the eff? She obviously had some ulterior motives.
I wouldn't believe in all she said. Chats can easily be manipulated/ faked.
But/ AND: She seems to be jealous of you and now successfully drowned your relationship.
I really would forbid her to ever do it again. Firstly. Otherwise she gets cut out.
Then secondly sound her out why she is meddling with your life? She sounds low key aggressive and high key destructive.
She may have done this out of jealousy. Or for wanting your bf.
I would thorroughly tell her off.
As to bf: I would ask him if he would show me his part of the chat. To be sure she didn't fake any of it.
And then I would ask him what this was about. Why on earth would he text strangers and text them THAT specific way?
He dumb?
That it feels as if he was looking for an opportunity to cheat on you.
That that's a dealbreaker.
Yeah no doubt it’s part of the job and disrespectful, especially since she lied to me saying she works at an izakaya. I gotta confront her and let her know I don’t play that way.
It doesn't sound like this person was ever your friend, and frankly, I'd be concerned how he got your contact details. However, you aren't obliged to be his friend. If he's making you uncomfortable, you can absolutely block him, and don't feel bad about it. You have a responsibility to your own mental health.
Could say ' I'm sorry but I'm not attracted to you in a romantic way. I think youre cool and like your personality. However, I value our friendship more rather than risk losing it. ”
You're technically not telling a lie. You're not attracted to Trans people and well, that's that. You're not being rude or disrespectful about it. You don't have to directly point out why as that may just cause way more unnecessary pain for them. You'd also risk losing the friendship otherwise.
Could say ' I'm sorry but I'm not attracted to you in a romantic way. I think youre cool and like your personality. However, I value our friendship more rather than risk losing it. ”
You're technically not telling a lie. You're not attracted to Trans people and well, that's that. You're not being rude or disrespectful about it. You don't have to directly point out why as that may just cause way more unnecessary pain for them. You'd also risk losing the friendship otherwise.
Yep. This is going to be an issue for your entire relationship if you stay together. Pretty much learn how to “enjoy” giving head or move on. This is part of the dating process.
“Our relationship” jesus now you are fully aware that he was in a relationship with another woman. And the amount of disrespect in NO blocking them in social media?
Listen if this is the life you want to live at least you are now fully informed your partner has engaged in full relationships behind your back, and doesn’t cut ties with the other women.
Good luck
Oh poor me. Your answers haven't helped me
There’s a chance, but you could also be the backup plan.
Okay? So leave if it's a big issue he's not willing to fix.
Going for the throat in the argument will get you exactly what you got. You insulted his sexual prowess in an argument, so he shot it back to you.
Again, congratulations. You caused it and now you're hurt.
What is it about this guy you love? He doesn't even act as if he likes you.
OP your birthday is the least of your worries…the fact that he doesn’t do anything for you for your birthdays is only a symptom of the deeper, ACTUAL problem: he’s a raging asshole.
Break. Up. You can’t fix him.
The only pro I see is getting sex
The cons list is a bit longer Could ruin a perfectly good friendship Any future relationship you have could have a problem with you being friends with her. It could ruin her current relationship What if you caught feelings or she did but weren't reciprocated
Lots of possible ughs for a little reward