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Obviously no one here is party to the tone of the conversations you're having with your friend, but based on your OP, and your long – rather repetitive and insistent – replies here, my own sense (which could of course be wrong) is that at these times you may be coming across as demanding, accusing and needy.
It can be difficult managing boundaries with people you have strong feelings for, but healthy, mutual friendships ebb and flow.
If he is not for the large wedding and huge party and expected vacation after, then suggest something small with a judge or a friend who got ordained live to do the ceremony.
If you find that he doesn't want that either, then there are several legal agreements and papers that can be drawn up to give each other the same powers and authority as if you were married. A court would recognize the legal papers even though the state or faith will not see it as a marriage. This is what LGBTQ has done in the past and still currently does in case the Oggerfeld gets overturned.