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MissLuscious, 69 y.o.
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Date: October 15, 2022
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Side note* be very very careful if you do bring this up to her. CNC is something a person could quickly end a relationship over. If she is completely not into it after you bring it up she may only ever be able to associate the thought of “he wants to rape me” any time she see you making her fear you.
Not saying this will happen but you need to know this could happen. Maybe start with smaller stuff. Like role play a more dominant role and her being more submissive.
Can we really trust your math? Lmao
You’re welcome
Glad you had a fun night, nothing more because she’s actually done nothing wrong. If in your mind she’s not allowed to live her life then something is wrong with you
Exactly! OP she’s trying to use you, don’t let her
You could try encouraging her to exercise with you and stick to non gym type exercise, walks, hike etc.
You could also start about the New Year and a few resolutions to lose weight and look good for her again.
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If you are married, do not the earnings in that time become joint property? What he is proposing is having you as a baby maker without any status nor the means to make your own money. That is ridiculous! Get yourself your own lawyer who specialises in this. Although you may stay with children, it does not have to be a very long period. Five years might cover two children. I would look into studying some specialism during those years, so that your brain is still full of your subject. Women who have had time off often lose confidence returning to work. I would charge him for rental of womb, (joking) loss of earnings, damages for loss of experience, loss of clients, erosion of business. Why bother getting married?
I mean it couldn’t have been too obvious for you since this isn’t the first time you’ve been in this type of situation. I hope this time you learn from it. Just don’t send anymore nudes and if you do, never show your face or anything distinguishable. And definitely don’t send anything if they won’t send you something.
There's a difference between being protective and enabling her so she is not independent or being a crutch. Your dad is already supporting her financially.
Look live for resources on leaving a dangerous relationship there is help out there. Also you need to find your cats a temporary home immediately so that your not anchored down in any way. Try to get on Medicare/Medicaid for your health issues and call every possible person who cares about you to build your support system. I wish you the best. I'm sorry your going through this. This would be my nightmare to leave this world and my daughters alone with no where to go.
Her therapist is either not a real therapist or he/she is a really bad therapist. This woman has made no progress at all.
I promise you, you're much better off without them.
Oh so you did make the post? Did you forget or was that derailing?
Now I'm making sure there's a paper trail of you ever try to use police to prosecute her for “stealthing” you.
I get paid a lot to speak in public. Don't worry.
How is the point “irrelevant”? Why don't you try supporting THAT point without strawmanning my arguments.
No, I’m a perfectly healthy weight. And no it has not.
NTA I don't see how it would benefit you to join accounts at this point. What purpose would joining accounts serve?
He's got a lot of sh** he's gotta unpack, and it's not your fault, an any healing he's gonna do is gonna happen on his timeline, if at all, nothing anyone but him can do a ton about.
If you wanna stay with him through that, then fine, that is up to you.
I understand he is being irrational, but yeah. Sounds like he is using games to cope for stuff he has not dealt with. So while his reaction makes no sense, it is an emotional reaction, and looks like he's gonna keep having it, so I would not push on that boundary for now. He's keeping his vulnerability there and over-reacting when something about it changes for him. So maybe once he can unpack that stuff he can handle bringing you in to that hobby. But I would expect it to take a while if he reacted like that.
I want to stress this behavior is about him, not about you. I think it's a good sign you said he would need therapy, that is exactly right and it is his journey to go on.
Your partner should like you in any style, and it's usually sexist people that are apposed to woman with short hair, and I don't know why your jumping to his defence… Seems sissy
If I saw a post on here about a girlfriend ridiculing her boyfriend because he shaved his head I would tear her a new one because you shouldn't eff with your partner's self esteem like that.
(To answer your question) So if you don't get it, bottom line is, you should always bring UP your loved one's self esteem, not down, even if you don't like the cut or clothes personally, because it's not your body, it's theirs, and you want them to be happy.
Every couple should always do a paternity test, specially in situations like these.
The stranger is saying that OP's partner has cheated on her both during this trip and the previous one. So maybe a recurring fling?
But then the way that stranger went to contact OP seems a bit… high effort. Like, you find out that the guy who you just had sex with has a soon-to-be fiance, would you track her until you get her name, phone number and address, then get/install a voice scrambler on your phone to leave a cryptic voicemail? Or do you find her social media and send her a DM, maybe with a fake profile? It's not sweat off your back if that woman believes you, and you barely knows the guy anyway, so why putting all that unnecessary effort?
The caller needs to be someone distant enough that collecting evidence would be impossible, but close enough to put some amount of effort to be believed. Hence why the stalky ex makes a lot of sense to me.
I totally admit I could be completely wrong.
Seriously, I don't know. That's why I was so angry. I respected her choices for months and she sends that message and has the gaul to shove him in my face.
Partly why I am disgusted with myself.
I don't think you are overreacting. Your fiance, a grown ass man, chose violence toward a defenseless baby animal who is just getting past her trust issues. Just throw out the whole man.
Do you think so? Therapy is also quite expensive and we are not doing well in this economy. I'm not sure it's really a viable option.
Sounds like you forgot in the moment that it was her work, and your behaviour made her feel undermined. I don't think you can come back from that on only your second date (which is the first real date as the initial one is like a pre-date). If you can't let go, allow yourself a short, simple apology by text with an offer to make it up to her, but if she doesn't take you up in it I think you have to respect that.
Religious shame says she has to blame someone. If you're not responsible for it then she is, therefore her ego says it must be your fault. Can't be her choices, she believes she's too good to choose to do a thing she thinks is bad. And honestly that's kind of scary for you because it means she has to stick to this obviously bullshit “I was asleep” story and everything that implies.
If it were me, I'd want to A) get ahead of it, and B) the relationship wouldn't make it longer than it takes to do that. I'd be in survival mode right now.
Is your boyfriend, by any chance, Muslim? I just thought of it and if that is the case I kind of understand the guy. Defying your parents and maybe being disowned over someone you plan to spend your life with might be a thing, but nobody in his right mind would risk all that for a girlfriend of 6 months.
As someone who lives in Florida, I find this HILARIOUS.
I’m a woman and I condone his actions.
I also condone the woman leaving if she can’t deal with it. This is different than abuse, it was protection mode.
OP can still be supportive by offering couples counseling and helping her with her healing, if she’s willing to do so. But at the end of the day, you have no idea what those men were capable of, if they had knives, etc.
And they were in her home. Bodily protection is far above mental health and protecting that in this situation. It’s about survival here. He did the right thing.
She cheated on me previously
I’ve seen the reports about wind. I’ve gotta ask someone in Lake Havasu. We are rarely COLD.
Cold!
yeaa I’d agree with you there on everything not worth being put in an awkward situation like that thank you!!
sorry to say but the 3 years are just proloning and pointless.
Thank you I will ?
That's horrible and I am sorry that happened. However this does not dispute my point, if you even have the slight worry that your SO would react that badly to news like that you should not be with them in the first place, period. Either they have shown tendencies in the past to warrant the worry or you don't think very highly of them, in both cases you should not be with that person then.
Most highschool relationships end eventually. And need to. People grow and change so much between 18 and 25-30, the likelihood that relationship chosen as a teenager is still good for you is very slim. Also, if you’ve been together that long, she’s never had the chance to live her life as an independent adult…something everyone (including you) needs to do. Time away for work or travel doesn’t meet this need, bc the relationship still exists. Everyone needs at least a few years to online their lives with no one to answer to or consider in decisions, big or small. From what to eat or buy to whether or not to move for a job or take off on a trip. Every decision is affected by the existence of a romantic partner, even when they’re not physically present. And she wants (and needs) to live without that.
He's probably already cheating or planning on cheating and using 'opening up the relationship' as a cover-up. Head for the hills.
No. I meant it lol
It just makes me feel like shit when someone tells you that they’re tired of you and that you get mad over dumb stuff. Makes you wonder if it’s true or if they’re just being mean.
Lmao absolutely insane which is why I think (hope) they're a troll
OP says she has shown her drivers license to prove her age to those who’ve asked.
??? honestly I agree! Seriously put me next to a baby faced teenager and you can tell I am an adult woman!
do you want her to tell him AFTER they’re already married?
I'm assuming he has a preference for porn-altered bodies. And makes fun of natural women's genitals like a lot of misogynistic men do.
Like I mentioned, I am autistic, and I don't do well with having lots of people talking to me, especially in loud places. I try to deal with it, but as I said, it's not that they're mean to me when I am there, but more that I often don't get to go for the aforementioned reasons, and no one is ever interested in doing things I want to/can do. When I can join in, I can either go somewhere I don't like and not be able to talk to many people, or I can not go.
Well apparently the girl was sober so…
I feel like her telling you this is a sign she may want something like that again. Reason being is you put that she wanted that indicating to me she made sure to tell you it was something she wanted. With it being something that you aren't into I would tread carefully.
I feel like her telling you this is a sign she may want something like that again. Reason being is you put that she wanted that indicating to me she made sure to tell you it was something she wanted. With it being something that you aren't into I would tread carefully.
This is way past too much.
If your BF is looking anything illegal it's cause for concern. There's a huge difference between a 22yo woman wearing a cheerleader outfit and actually molesting your family. I wouldn't jump to major conclusions from some modest browser history on reputable websites that don't host anything illegal.
Being late can be an annoyance, constantly being late is a passive aggressive control mechanism.
This is the template of any future you will have with him.
Goodbye Felecia
oh man…this is on another level…therapy level. i’m so sorry?
He literally started crying in front of her. The only reason he “shut off his emotions” after that was because she looked at him disgusted. I wouldn’t exactly continue opening up after that either.
OP just said his (now ex) girlfriend broke up with him via text message, so I think you’re backing the wrong horse here. OP definitely isn’t the one in the wrong…he began to open up and this is what he got in return. His ex is heartless.
You are a groomer and married someone young enough to be your daughter. Somehow upset why your daughter has a problem with her and her stepmother being the same age. Focus on your new family and leave your ex-wife’s daughter alone.
You don't need his verbal confirmation; you know he cheated on you. What you do is you leave.
You don't need his verbal confirmation; you know he cheated on you. What you do is you leave.
Did the other guy know she was married ?
Sooner than that. When she has the baby he probably won’t like sharing her adoration. Honestly, she sounds like one of those women who writes love letters to serial killers.
If her mom’s investments make more than paying into the loans, I wouldn’t see this as super urgent. Sounds like mom has money and is on the hook as well.
Thanks for the reply. Hot to give all the details over the internet but these are the only two occurrences where I did change plans. We spend every weekend together, it's not like I constantly prioritize my friends over her or change our plans. She is the first priority in my life, always. I just did not pick up on the fact that adding a friend to our dinner would be a big deal so I am naive there.