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Date: October 14, 2022
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It’s one thing to be upset enough to not feel like doing something nice for someone…it’s quite another to deliberately withhold with the intent to punish.
Being excluded from anything intentional or not hurts. Your feelings are valid.
I was excluded from a family sc ( we mostly send photos of our kids and pets) and I was hurt. I said something like oh what's this and got added pretty quickly.
Bring it up to your partner and say your feelings are hurt. Ask why you were excluded and why he didn't say anything to anyone.
She may, can't tell you for sure.
bruh
What do you know about her? Is she happy with her career? Did she always want a career but doesn’t have one? Does she have friends? Does she go out as much as she likes? Does she like where you live? You should have some idea as to what she means by being dismissed. If not, is there someone who you could ask? She sounds unhappy in general. That’s my guess. Surely there have been clues as to why. My advice is to tell her you’re willing to do whatever it takes so you NEED to know what’s wrong. Give her real examples like offering to take her to see a dr, a vacation, an live! course. Let her know that telling you won’t be a waste of her time and mean it!
That’s an Ex girlfriend right there.
thats what im saying, i think everyone is conveniently ignoring this
Someone had to do it :D!
Of course i would … but I’ll tell you what … no girl would ever know … if they don’t know it didn’t happen ya know ?
Just let her do her thing. Let her jam! Thanks for the convo there I really appreciate it!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please consider reaching out to RAINN or a local therapist or trauma support center to talk about this in a safe setting. You don’t need to carry this alone.
What you’ve described is rape, yes. You’ve been the victim of a crime. I hope you will report this, and ask to be connected to a victim’s advocate. They can also help you find mental health support.
It’s a good idea to deal with the trauma of this event now, or you risk it impacting you unexpectedly later in life. Take care.
Hi, thanks for responding! I think we’re trying to find common ground and trying to find an acceptable compromise. But the issue is that in the interim, while he’s adjusting to this, I’m feeling really anxious and i kind of feel neglected. I recognise that i need to give him time, but i don’t know how to deal in the meantime.
We’ve been together physically for short periods. And we’re supposed to be meeting in a couple of weeks for a month.
She wasn’t your girlfriend at the time. You are welcome to your feelings but you violated the boundary you both set and now you’re feeling buyers remorse. Either admit to her what you did, hope she forgives you and move forward or admit to her what you did and move on alone.
Check out the exmo community on Reddit. Many there have been where you are and can definitely help. Bring a man you have an advantage in that Mormon women are taught to listen to their husbands. Start showing her some of the things that changed your mind. Open her eyes up to what you put you where you are and you might be surprised. Also make sure she knows that your feelings for her and your family are still solid and you want to make things work.
In your comments you are doing a lot to defend her. The truth is she continued to betray you for staying in touch with this guy and hiding it. It doesn't matter if it “only” started 3 months ago or if she only texted him once a week. She tried to cover her tracks by using a different name for him and she deleted messages. If this was as innocent as she is trying to make it seem, she wouldn't have gone to such lengths to hide it, knowing what she was risking. Think about that, she had to know she was risking her relationship with you by being in contact with him, yet she did it anyway. I wonder if it was worth it for her? It doesn't sound like you're worth it to her. She was “stimulated” enough to keep this guy in her back pocket. You gave her a second chance already, don't let her fool you again.
Nah, I’d sure make you my little bitch though, tough guy ahahahha
His father doesn't like me based on things he's heard from my husband's ex, which has caused an immense amount of pressure on him. He thinks I cheated on him with my ex, when I absolutely did not and can assure that. I pushed him hot enough to lose his balance and fall into the radiator in the bathroom. Being in a previously abusive relationship, I'd leave too..
I know this because she doesn’t know the third passenger at all and it’s be ridiculous to ask for $30 worth of gas for 60 miles lol
The fact that I didn't think “no way, that would never happen” makes me worry more, than I probably should… it's really time for him to cut her off, or I'm gone. Not taking any chances here, I'd rather be paranoid.
I'm sorry that you had to go through his crap treatment. digital hugs.
Its better now than later.
Your relationship is a farce. Don't stop to this, just end things now whilst you still have some semblance of dignity.
Just gonna be the one to say it – not getting black out drunk is an option. Not drinking to the point of being absolutely usless and/or out of control is an option. No one ever wants to say it, because its considered vICtIm BLaMiNg, but you put yourself in these positions when everyone knows these people are out there, waiting for some silly guy/girl to completely lose control of themselves (all in the name of fun) and then they do what they do. If a man beat me black and blue, then turned around the next day and blamed it on drink I wouldn't give a flying fuck – I'd do everything in my power to make sure he paid for what he did. You reckon you might've run around the house naked knowing your friends weirdo partner was in the house. Sorry, but I really do feel that after being around enough paraletic friends I've seen their true natures when they've had enough to drink. They sleep with disgusting people and embarrass themselves. No matter how drunk I ever got when I was a teen – it only ever made me want to dance, have a laugh, then go to bed. No amount of drink ever led to me doing something inappropriate to someone elses partner – because I don't want to do it when I'm sober! I honestly believe people who drink that much and do stupid things are actually just doing so they have excuses to do stupid things. And they are exactly the types of people who shouldn't drink at all, because they're incapable of controlling themselves, and they don't know when to stop, and they are a liability when out with people who DO know when to stop.
I always have handled everything, the kids are from my ex and I was doing 100% of everything back then. It's a nice relief now that my bf does a load of dishes or takes the trash out sometimes so I feel bad for complaining. He says he needs to help more but he has issues getting motivated.
The cuddles before sleep is all I want. I'm happy that you have found something that works for you. How did you reach that compromise?
I get men that message me live, work friends, people I've known a long time. I know the grass is greener and all that. But when they say they love cleaning and cuddling it makes me feel sad. They know I'm in a relationship and I tell them I'm not interested in them that way.