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Date: October 13, 2022
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Had chances? If she talking about it, she did it
Finding it difficult to break up is valid. But the truth of the matter is that you both know this is not a long-term relationship that will work.
I realise it hurts, because breakups are awful no matter how the relationship ends it's always going to have difficulties and pain associated with its end.
But you cannot stay with someone simply because it's easier for the time being.
Staying when you both know it's not going to last will breed resentment, it will breed more insecurities and you will slowly chip away at yourselves by doing so.
It's easy for those of us on the outside to say “Just leave” and I know that, but tell me honestly, what advice would you give a friend who was in your situation? Would you not tell them to take time away, to continue their work to heal and feel safe and content on their own before getting into a new relationship?
You both have work to do, apart. You're doing yourselves no favours staying in this relationship as things stand.
“She told me three times we were breaking up.”
“I told her I want to sit down and talk about this.”
BRO the trash is trying to take itself out and you're clinging to the bag. Just let go.
Research “death grip”
You are 20 he is 30. He is acting 16. This controlling behaviour is a HUGE RED FLAG. If you have been in absolutely horrible relationships in the past I can see how this might seem better- but it’s not. This is also an unhealthy relationship. The age difference is super concerning. No wonder he is dating someone so young, NO WOMAN his own age would put up with that crap. Let him read this.
Yeah the the relationship is built on a lie. But in todays society values, you are lucky you weren’t number 200. Seem to be the average number of hookups for women nowadays. May want to embrace the single life, or stay ina relationship unmarried, cuz marriage is a losing investment men every way you look at it
It’s exactly what it looks like. Don’t let him gaslight you. He didn’t defend you at all. This is inappropriate for a man in a committed relationship to be in such a group. Especially when there are close female friends who are easily accessible. Not just random porn stars he would never have a chance with.
I couldn’t stay knowing the things that were said and him not bothering to tell them not to talk to about you like that.
I would make damn sure he didn’t have any nudes of you on his phone or where he can access them. Because if he has any I’d bet if they keep on he’ll give in and send them your pics. I don’t trust him at all and neither should you.
Delete all of your pics off his phone and make sure you delete them from recently deleted. Make sure you tell your BF do not send any of your pics to anyone because he does not have your permission to share any photos. Do this after you have deleted all of them because if you break up and he still has some he will definitely share them.
Make sure you change your passcode to your phone so he can’t sneak in and get some after they’re deleted from his.
Let's not interact/ stay in touch with our exes and this rule applies to both of us- this is setting/ discussing boundaries.
No, it isn’t. People choose their own friends, exes or not. Choosing your partner’s friends is not a boundary. Boundaries are about ourselves.
A boundary is: I personally don’t want to be in a relationship where we are friends with our exes. If you’re ok with that, let’s go out. If you are the kind of person who hangs out with her exes all the time, I respect that, and that’s valid, but we’re not compatible.
Ahah I was going to edit my comment to add that, this is probably a troll
I think your gf just told you what she really feels about your relationship. The liquor just loosened up her tongue. If it were me I would cut her loose and let her find her Mr. Right.
OP love yourself more than this. You deserve better.