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Oliver Baker, 22 y.o.
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Date: October 12, 2022
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This is grooming. And illegal. You should be filing a police report and finding a child psychologist.
What benefit would your brother have for showing your son this? There is nothing normal about this! Family doesn’t show family porn! If you son has expressed an interest in sex and disclosed it to your brother, the correct answer is: talk to your parents. But I doubt this happened.
Honestly, good on your son for showing your wife your brother did this and not trying to hide it.
I am not sure where you're from, but I am pretty sure here that would be a crime
Your heart seems in the right place but in all honesty, it won't be very helpful because you're the ex. It'll be heard, but not with the interpretations as you mean. Plus, time changes people and life has to be learned by living. I mean you could mention these things if you wish but your experiences with your ex and her experiences will not be the same, and mental health disorders that are severe enough to fuck up a person's life won't stay hidden long, you know? So, unless he's abusive and dangerous to others, just send good, positive energy or pray or whatever to send energy of positivity and thank God you're not living that way any more!
Positive idea here. This will work. Say u want to take your wife on date. Say u want to workout and walk on treadmill together. Say u need a spotter in gym and u want your wife to be your spotter since u trust her the most. U can’t lose. She needs to feel NEEDED.
Have you ever seen A Bronx Tale? The main character is a high school kid and he's walking with his mentor figure and see a kid who owes him $20, that kid says “I'll get your money soon, I swear” and starts running off. Main character starts running after the kid and the mentor stops him. Paraphrasing the scene:
“Do you even like that guy?”
“No, he's an annoying jerk!”
“$20 seems like a small price to pay to get him out of your life.”
Pay the money, block and move on.
(also you should watch that movie, it's fantastic)
I deleted tinder within a couple of days of talking to my now partner, before we had even gone on a date.
Dating apps are dumpster fires and I hate everything about them. When I stumbled across a person whose company I enjoyed, I deleted tinder because my energy and time was better served thinking through this new potential relationship. If we hadn’t worked out, I’d have redownloaded, no big deal.
would love to rehash my straight to gay pipeline for you but i’m getting the vibe you’re not asking for any wholesome reason so you can go to google and see if you can work that one out for yourself.
That’s so absolute. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Your experience is yours, not the world’s.
It “seems” too fast because it is too fast – way too fast. He's either emotionally unwell or just too immature to know better. If you have any intention of continuing to date him you'll have to tell him he's moving too quickly for you. That's probably how you'll find out what's going on with him. If he gets embarrassed and apologizes he's probably just lacking in relationship experience. But if he gets all moody and seems genuinely hurt that's how you'll know he's got some issues and probably isn't entirely safe to be involved with. Good luck.
Material ownership? No.
She lives there though, that is her place of residence. She should be allowed to feel safe in her own home. Whether a pedophile physically owns it or not is completely irrelevant.
Do this OP!
Move everything out in one day and leave the divorce papers.
He deserves no forewarning. He is intentionally inflicting emotional, mental and physical (exposure to STIs) trauma on you.
Hell nah, tell the dude no thanks as politely as you can.
Your wife has the right to know you betrayed her. Really sir this is disgraceful behavior and you have yourself to blame. Go to therapy and work on boundaries.
If she's fine with her weight and you love her the way she is, then sit down and shut up. If she's fine with her weight and you don't love her the way she is shut up and leave. If she seeks your counsel, you can comment. She's told you it's off the table, it's off the table. It's not complicated.
Your BF should open a Italian Restaurant with all the Marinara flags his tests contain.
How hot up r u? Or is this brad Pitt lol
Just divorce her, dude.
Tell her that you were only joking.
Lol.
Sex can be meaningless for a guy.
But when he catches a bus for it, it’s not nothing.
3 years is unbelievable, You deserve better. You should get out of that relationship ASAP.
Closure is good, but nobody else owes it to you. I suggest getting closure by debriefing the relationship with a therapist.
Don't contact your ex again, unless he indicates he wants to talk to you.
Sweetheart. They never are. If abusers were abusive right away, nobody would date them. He’s going to continue to escalate, and if you don’t want to be 40 with children starting over after fleeing a dangerous situation, you need to dump him. Yesterday.
So I want to end our relationship and our engagement. I love her, but maybe I need to think of myself. I don't want to leave her. What do you think?
Leave. It looks to me like you just don't want to be alone. The fact of the matter is, she treats you *worse* than her other lovers–you don't get the same amount of public affection, sexual exploration, or anything else that she shows others.
There is the right woman out there for you–it's just not *this* one.
She really wants this child. The problem is planning ahead is never 100% full proof and you have to accept the fact that not everything goes according to plan.
Everyone gets to have a say but ultimately it’s a decision she has to make by herself because of what an abortion can do to a woman’s body.
It sounds like a mutual ending at this point.
I mean he gave it to her 6 years ago and hasn’t done anything since to try to “win” her back. OP is acting so so incredibly entitled to things that were settled for years before she met this guy. She’s still hung up on the money, not his feelings. None of this would matter if OP didn’t have dollar signs in her eyes.
I was ready to say you might've overreacted to a drunk joke. You said you're doing your doctorate, so maybe that's why a famous Indian doctor came out of his mouth, or I don't know, I can't speak to either of your dynamics with each other or around friends…
BUT (!!!) that edit response, if verbatim, is red flag shitty. “You should have more respect towards me.” is a crazy thing to say to anyone, but especially crazy to say to your fiancee that's understandably upset. It doesn't even matter what it's about; what kind of loon gets so bent out of shape because his significant other stormed out of a pub? He's not the fucking King of England, his reputation would never be irrevocably tarred by something like if he owned up to you. And then at the end there's like this subtle 'You almost made me miss my flight with this' implication, like he's trying to do some passive aggressive mental judo. The guy sounds like a narcissist, and it's weird that he doesn't even know that's how he sounds.
What do you want me to do, right a fucking a bible for you. I tried what I could. I am trying to get people to understand here. U wanna morally lawd over me, go fuck urself.
yeah tbh I think people gave WAY too much credence to medical professionals — they're just humans, too. If 9/10 medical professionals say the same thing, then okay. But one? Meh.
Is there a reason why she can’t be with you? Yeah it’s messed up how she’s not by your side. That’s kind of odd.
Be honest with him and explain the show is just too stressful for you. No shame in it. I couldn’t get past the second episode. I also stopped watching the walking dead well before everyone started hating it. For me it wasn’t the sex, I’m just not into that kinda show where all your favorite characters can be brutally killed at any point.
Valentine’s Day is a terrible day to go out to a restaurant. I mean the food and service will be objectively worse than almost any other day of the year, just due to how overwhelmed most restaurants are. I’d opt to stay in on V day and go out another time.
But the real issue here is you think your relationship is in a rut. I think you need to provide more context on this before we can really offer helpful advice.
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I 26m have been with my wife 24f for 5 years and married for 3 this year.
My wife has always had an issue with porn. She told me she wouldn’t have it in a relationship when we first started dating, that she considered it cheating and if that was an issue we should part way. I told her it wasn’t an issue. This was in 2018.
We recently had twins, a little boy and a little girl. They’re about a 16 days old. Both of them and my wife are healthy.
Up until now, my wife and I have had sex pretty much every day. Now obviously we can’t have sex because she’s healing from pushing two humans out of her body, and I don’t expect her to.
Long story short, she caught me watching porn in the bathroom and trying to relieve myself. She just shut the door, and texted me that she is packing a bag and going to her moms with the kids for the night. She hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts and the one she did answer just said “You knew my stance on porn and yet the minute we can’t have sex, you turn to it.”
I’m not sure how to make it right or convince her it was purely for self release and not because I want to fuck someone else.
What can I do to make it right?
TLDR: my wife considers porn cheating and caught me watching it after she had a baby and couldn’t have sex, now she is mad and won’t talk to me.
and no matter what I do I can’t seem to get over her.
This is a self-limiting belief.
Let the trash walk itself out to
I also just can’t seem to stop trying to analyze the apology, she was never the type to really apologize, and one of our major problems is that she would always create drama, or lash out, or cause problems due to her mental health, and would blame it on me.
So, let me get this straight. The only way she can possibly apologize is, when she's blocked somone from her life completely, first?
Wow, that's kind of sad, m8. I can't imagine being that weak-kneed.
She's got some nuclear shame issues.
I just can’t decide what time make of it, and honestly kinda wish she hadn’t sent it in the first place. Why would she do this?
Obsessed with having the last word.
She had a bit of uncomfortable moment of insight where she realized that hey, maybe the fact that she never apologized kind of made her seem like an asshole. She still needed to have the last word, though.
Oh no, the one getting kicked out of the bridal party would be A, not R.
It’s hot to shut off years of memories and affection for her despite knowing what she did is awful. I know I’m bullshitting myself by trying to buy into the booze + depression spiel. I posted because I know I’m trying to paint a picture that makes it easier to forgive her in my head and I know that only ends up hurting R, who is just as dear to me.
Get her Plan B, and start religiously using condoms.
I can't give you advice on your marriage or what to do about it but I'm glad that you are making a move that works for you.