Is this a cultural background thing? Family and cultural traditions can be extremely strong and difficult to break from. You do sound as though you are tightly bound by something like this, and having very little self-confidence. I’m afraid the only way you’re going to break out of this is by finding the strength to be more forceful and self-reliant, and this will need support and help from your boyfriend and friends. I’m guessing here, and forgive me if I’m wrong, that you are from an ethnic group that has strong traditional family ties – it is likely that there are many people from this group who have had, or are having, similar issues to you, and it’s also likely that there are support groups for people like yourself. I’d make it a priority to look into these support groups and seek some advice and help. Good luck!
Regardless of whether you stay together or not, do not give up on all of your wants and needs just for the sake of this (or any) relationship. No partner should force you to do this either, regardless of their earning potential. People are more than the money they make, and it’s not an excuse to treat you like your goals aren’t important.
Compromises are necessary to any long term relationship, but (1.) compromise means both people give and take to resolve their differences and (2.) some things just can not be compromised on and that’s okay. Only you know where that line is for your relationship.
My recommendation if you are adverse to breaking up now would be to take a year, do long distance if you have to, and see how both of your priorities grow and change. I have seen friends go through the same thing, where they date for years but separate due to very different life goals.
Also, do NOT rely on someone’s “potential”, you need to be prepared that they will always be who they are right now today. Relying on “maybe he wants kids later” is a ticking time bomb.
Of course it’s going to hurt that you’re away from him, you love him. But you need to do what is best for yourself and stay away.
For me, a break was the end of my relationship. He was my first everything, but it got to the point where we were arguing all the time over nothing. He suggested the break (the 4th break at this point) and I decided that enough was enough and I didn’t want to live with the uncertainty anymore. So I stayed away. It hurt like hell, and more months I spoke to him afterwards and tried to be friends. But at the end it just made the feeling worse, so I blocked him on everything and haven’t spoken to him since.
Do what you think is right for yourself, just know that you deserve better than this.
I'd rather sit at dinner with my wife and a single guy than have her go out alone on a date with any guy…. and that’s what this seems to be if the go alone.
The invite extends to you, go and get to know this guy, and maybe suggest some other folks go along as well.
Leave. There's more fish in the sea that won't feel insecure about the things he does. And will not change testing you based on your past.
Is this a cultural background thing? Family and cultural traditions can be extremely strong and difficult to break from. You do sound as though you are tightly bound by something like this, and having very little self-confidence. I’m afraid the only way you’re going to break out of this is by finding the strength to be more forceful and self-reliant, and this will need support and help from your boyfriend and friends. I’m guessing here, and forgive me if I’m wrong, that you are from an ethnic group that has strong traditional family ties – it is likely that there are many people from this group who have had, or are having, similar issues to you, and it’s also likely that there are support groups for people like yourself. I’d make it a priority to look into these support groups and seek some advice and help. Good luck!
Regardless of whether you stay together or not, do not give up on all of your wants and needs just for the sake of this (or any) relationship. No partner should force you to do this either, regardless of their earning potential. People are more than the money they make, and it’s not an excuse to treat you like your goals aren’t important.
Compromises are necessary to any long term relationship, but (1.) compromise means both people give and take to resolve their differences and (2.) some things just can not be compromised on and that’s okay. Only you know where that line is for your relationship.
My recommendation if you are adverse to breaking up now would be to take a year, do long distance if you have to, and see how both of your priorities grow and change. I have seen friends go through the same thing, where they date for years but separate due to very different life goals.
Also, do NOT rely on someone’s “potential”, you need to be prepared that they will always be who they are right now today. Relying on “maybe he wants kids later” is a ticking time bomb.
Or pawn/sell it for some money to buy something else
What do you need to happen before you leave him? Does he need to set you on fire too?
You aren't a hero for staying with an irresponsible dangerous person, you just end up a cautionary tale for your friends.
And then in the morning…. I found it on my finger.
Reddit never ceases to amaze me in terms of people's behavior.
Like what the fuck, Mary?
I would like myself if i had a deep cool voice, a taller high and a fitter body. What i see is there is no way i can fully like myself?
I like myself when others do too. I don't see a point to like myself for myself
Of course it’s going to hurt that you’re away from him, you love him. But you need to do what is best for yourself and stay away.
For me, a break was the end of my relationship. He was my first everything, but it got to the point where we were arguing all the time over nothing. He suggested the break (the 4th break at this point) and I decided that enough was enough and I didn’t want to live with the uncertainty anymore. So I stayed away. It hurt like hell, and more months I spoke to him afterwards and tried to be friends. But at the end it just made the feeling worse, so I blocked him on everything and haven’t spoken to him since.
Do what you think is right for yourself, just know that you deserve better than this.
I'd rather sit at dinner with my wife and a single guy than have her go out alone on a date with any guy…. and that’s what this seems to be if the go alone.
The invite extends to you, go and get to know this guy, and maybe suggest some other folks go along as well.
What is LC?