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RiriSatria Public Chat Channel
Date: October 11, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
RiriSatria Public Chat Channel
Thank you for all your posts, this is how I feel to. So many comments made me realise this is so difficult for me because as a society we based all the value on money because capitalism and by all the answers I get a good overlook on different opinions and some are more on my husband side, some are more what I think and believe.
I just wanted to add that all these posts made me also think about family backgrounds we both have, because I was provided more through my family and when we met he had no income but started working really nude and learned to code and now after a few different jobs he works for a good and fair pay. And I do the same things I did when we met and I believe he thinks that because he made a bigger leap from no income to high income he now feels I didnt follow in his steps.
But from my perspective. When he moved in with me I did 90% od all the chores on the yearly basis and I also work. That being said. I provided the time he needed to learn to code with doing most of the chores most of the time so I was left with way less time to be able to code. Now there are some super people out there who would be able to learn to code after working & doing most of the chores but I am not one of them because I also need sleep.
He said many times that he would take higher chore load if I learned to code but when he sees me doing the dishes and cleaning he never says – go learn to code and I will do this things today but he has this you have to show me first that you want to learn attitude before I start helping you by making more chores and it is a wishious circle.
*disclaimer: we are from a lower BDP country which means that coders, who can work for companies in other countries,… are paid more than doctors who are the highest salary in public sector. What I do is public sector and I am payed minimum wage, and he gets pay an enormous amount even considering other jobs in our country for a less than 40 hours work/week.
I totally feel you! Same exact situation- I have a larger family, we’re all very comfortable with each other and can get quite loud but my husbands family is more quiet and boring. Nice and well meaning definitely (and things could be A LOT worse) but even after 9 years together I’m not fully comfortable around my in-laws and feel like I need to be on my best behavior. Like they don’t listen to music in the car which is so crazy to me! But don’t let his family’s behavior change how you feel about your husband, it sounds like you guys complement each other well with a balance of fun/serious 🙂
If you find a solution to making time with boring in laws more fun please let me know!! (Before Christmas Eve preferably lol)
Uh…how is outright asking her too blunt?
“Hey [name] do you have plans for New Year's? Bc if you don't I'd like to invite you over to my place.”
It really is that simple.
So I should break up with her because I want to spend 1 holiday alone with another friend group?
Very interesting advice!
Yeah I agree that it wouldn't work, but I don't even know if I actually want something with her or if I'm just confused right now. Though, I disagree about the cheating part, she finds cheating disgusting and had some really bad experience with it, plus her boyfriend is very laid back with this, he even participates on the joking sometimes. But you're right, I wouldn't want to ruin their relationship and our friendship. Thank you for the insight!
Here's what might be a novel idea.
Stop answering her calls.
Stop responding to her messages.
If you see her in public, walk the other way.
Block every avenue of contact she could possibly use to get ahold of you.
And for the love of whatever gods you believe in, stop fucking her.
LOL. You very well might be right about the 50%!! It takes two to want to do this. Not one person. Check out surviving infidelity sub. A poly post was put up just today. Check it out. This is only one example.
Screwing a FWB while in a relationship and calling it poly when the other partner is not wanting it, is just wanting to screw other people.
Fix your sex life with her!! Unless there's some medical reason?
Don’t be concerned about getting with girls, because what leads to mature people forming connections for something other than a quid pro quo – sexual and romantic, platonic – is a sense that the other person thinks of them as a person.
You are more concerned about your sexual prospects with other people than this woman whom you cast as a friend in this story. If she wasn’t your friend, she was in your friend group, and now you’re more concerned about the poisoned well than what you did to her and demonstrated about yourself.
Not the person who you replied to, but that’s what stands out to me. If you were a decent person, you’d be more focused on the distrust you sowed in an individual, not how to avoid further consequences.
You should be focused on improving your mindset.
There was a post a while back where OP’s mom had an affair with now stepdad and OP decided to have stepdad walk her down the aisle instead of bio-dad (who she was also close to). He refused to see her again and she had a breakdown when he died still refusing to talk to her.
I think you’re right. Relationship with bio-dad wouldn’t be the same if he’s pushed out here in favor of step dad.