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  1. Only you can make this decision. I understand both of your perspectives. Is she financially sound enough to hire a nanny? Are you okay with a possible new man raising your children? These are deeply personal decisions only you can make.

    She sounds like a wonderful woman to want to do this and I’m sure, at some point, there will be a new man in her life. So, you need to think about that.

    I’m very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I’ve dealt with cancer in my family with relatives. I know it’s a naked road to travel.

  2. While I know this comment is not malicious at all, and only has good intentions, I respectfully disagree with it.

    This is one of the few times I actually wish OP is a troll. So this story would be fake. Can you imagine the pain OP is going through right now? I can’t even fathom. He even mentioned in a reply he used wording to try to be sensitive.

    I’m usually all for putting these kind of warnings and do them myself, but now is honestly one of the times to let it go. OP deserves more than a little slack for what he is going through. I don’t think this is the place for it. Sometimes the situation is so dire that it overrides the importance of everything else.

    I know your intentions were only good, and I don’t mean to sound condescending. I just don’t think it’s the right time or place to tell OP this.

  3. Nursing bras aren't necessary. A regular one works without needing to remove it. Not as convenient or comfortable, but definitely doable.

  4. Quit doing everything and let him fail. Why would he change if you shield him from the consequences of his actions?

  5. Um enjoying sex as a woman isn't a crime. Sexually assaulting someone is a serious violent crime. Not comparable. The fact you view them as such is concerning and says a lot.

  6. You keep telling yourself that so you feel better about women your own age being too smart to waste their time on you. You're single and staying that way, especially with that attitude .

  7. Be clear that this change in your sex life isn’t something that you will live! with long term and both of you have to be serious about solving the problem.

    Is it birth control? Hormonal change? Emotional changes? What?

    Don’t let get dodge. If she dodges an honest discussion then be clear that this is a deal breaker for you.

    She needs to know how BIG a problem it is.

  8. Hello /u/Fickle-Total2892,

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  9. Do not get pregnant!! If he won’t stop the pork addiction , I would cut my losses & start a divorce asap or just end it

  10. If you don’t think he groomed you, I’m sorry, but you don’t fully know and understand what grooming is. This is not even subtle grooming this is flashing neon sign grooming. This is practically a copy paste of every grooming case of all time

  11. Yeah… If you probably think more about it, he wasn't much of a friend to begin with.

    Block him and move on. You don't deserve his immaturity. You will find someone more deserving of you.

  12. And just like that you needed a break and somehow the family knows??? You need to stop! Take a breath. You have all these years between you, have a future, did something juvenile and stupid and it was too much for you and your emo are hurt so now you’re done??

  13. WAIT you never met in real life and in love with this person really? She’s a lair dude open your eyes get off of your computer and come back to the real world. Look outside meet people go on dates in real life. You’re 20 not 80 still you young.

  14. WAIT you never met in real life and in love with this person really? She’s a lair dude open your eyes get off of your computer and come back to the real world. Look outside meet people go on dates in real life. You’re 20 not 80 still you young.

  15. I don’t understand why everyone has such a problem with “ig models”. I could see if it was Kathryn at the car dealership and you see her in person every two months and you know each other and it’s all naked pics of her booty. There is a relationship there. Do the ig girls know you exist? Or are they just babes on the net? The girl you are interested in seems super insecure and immature. You can look at whatever you look at it’s your phone and your eyes. Sheesh. How controlling!!

  16. My husband doesn’t know the full story as I don’t want him to hate my family

    Here is the problem you want him to help but with hold this important tid bit therefor all he sees is this

  17. Thanks for the encouragement, I'll give it a shot. The fact that we're still living together can make me forget that I don't have much left to lose, so I need to keep that front of mind.

  18. I think you need to ask your MIL to talk with your husband. And I think you should offer to be there when it happens and help navigate. Maybe you can chat with her how to best explain it to him in a way that softens the blow.

    I don't think she has done anything wrong at all. I completely understand why she feels bad about the decision but in all honesty she made the tough, but best decision to protect her son and I don't blame his step dad either, I actually respect that.

    I think you can perhaps help your husband navigate his feelings afterwards.

    If MIL doesn't want to come clean, you may need to bring it up with husband because if he finds out you knew and kept it a secret for an extended period of time it could be trust breaking.

  19. Thank for for the input. I do watch porn and masturbate a lot, I may have set some unrealistic expectations and hence the frustration.

  20. Well he just didn’t have sex with them because he was scared to do so until me because he finally worked through his insecurities. So it’s not a bad thing that he did want to have sex with them right?

    Also, I don’t understand the last paragraph. I’m sorry. What do you mean?

  21. Good lord just leave her alone. She doesnt deserve a guy who is constantly doubting himself if he wants to be with her or not.

    Also, you keep making excuses about how its her fault that you blow up and act the way you do but its not, everything is on you. You can only control your actions, not hers. If something she does bothers you so much that it ruins the whole day….why not just talk about it like the adults you are instead of getting mad and blaming it all on her. Sweet jesus.

  22. Judging by your comments your not gonna do the right thing anyways so why post here? You know you need to tell the friend and kick J to the curb but you won’t and everything will blow up in your face and you’ll make a post acting like a victim.

    Your friend rubbed in your face what she did and you are still trying to find a way to justify this? Honestly you are just as sick as your friend. Birds of a feather flock together

  23. Nope, it's not. She called out the hypocrisy directly with the exact same energy she was given. This opinion is goofy AF.

  24. FWB relationships are a bad idea. Over time they damage your ability to form real relationships in the future. Besides do you honestly have sex with someone and have no emotions towards them?

  25. Talk to the girlfriend and make it clear that you didn't mean anything by it and it's how you naturally act, that you don't have interest in the room-mate.

    All you can do is be honest about how you can come across as flirty.

    You need to be careful with this, because it will get you into a lot of trouble.

    It's very cheaty.

    She may even leave… but I don't think this is unsalvageable.

    It'll probably be fine, just be very careful not to be at all flirty… it's part of the deal when you date someone with trust issues like that.

  26. Hi, well I told her I was willing to take care of her if that was what she wanted. But I also told her the Father of her boys should take care of them financially. i would not. And she cried and cried and has now dumped me.

  27. I love my kid more than I have capacity to hate anyone on this planet. That so many people on this sub can't see why it's wrong that OPs mom can't at the moment, is alarming. Of course she needs therapy, you're absolutely right. She's deeply miserable, 10 years later, and still making decisions in anger and hurt from an old wound that she won't let scab over…that's a therapy situation if there ever was one.

  28. Yeah I wouldn't be marrying him. He's hung up on his ex in a very severe way. This won't end well for you I imagine.

    But bigger than that…..you don't live! together? Is that correct?

    That's a huge step to miss before marriage, you don't even know how you'd fit into each other's lives 24/7 but you're going to legally commit. What?

  29. Yeah she doesn't feel comfortable when she is really down, and blames herself and cries a lot.. I always feel bad, because she doesn't want me to talk about it in the moment and doesn't want to be touched..

  30. Am i selfish or do i just have self respect?

    She consistently ignored his messages and his existence and only talked to him when she wanted to talk about her own problems. He admitted himself that he was being used but allowed it out of 'boredom'.

  31. the advice is implied: realize that she was an utterly nasty person who ruined her sons life because she was a horn dog over a child. the only way she'll be able to salvage the relationship is by acknowledging her wrong doing.

  32. You tell him that sleep deprivation is considered torture and has health impacts beside just being tired. And that sleep apnea has health impacts beyond being annoying. You tell him that if he doesn’t care about his health that’s one thing. But disregarding yours is hurtful. And that until he finds a solution, he can sleep in another room because you need rest.

    You do not need to make an appt for him. He’s a goddamned grown up and needs to act like it. You don’t need to take on the mental load of all the things and you’re not his secretary.

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