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Date: October 11, 2022
Oof. Who do you feel pushed the most to escalate the relationship? Do you get to see and talk to your friends and family often?
Why do my feelings matter more? Is that how it seems, that i just care about me? It feels like from my perspective I’ve made sure to make what he feels a priority, by not pushing him or demanding he interact with them despite how it made me feel that he wasn’t interacting with my family or visiting them. If you are asking who’s feelings matter more I feel like it would be more accurate to ask why don’t my feelings take priority for this one time period.
Maybe it’s sad or pathetic, I don’t know, but my parents were basically my only friends growing up, I was a lonely kid. They mean a lot to me. When I visit I’m there to see them and enjoy being in the same home as them. I don’t know how else to explain that it isn’t odd for me to stay at their home when I visit. That is an aside though because we can’t even afford to not stay with them when we visit, we have to.
you will never get closure. No person can give that to you. Closure is a myth.
Even if he detailed the past year, point by point, you will not feel better or more clarity. Only time and moving on brings closure.
How long are you going to continue setting yourself on fire to keep him warm?
I am a neurodivergent man and have some similar experiences to your partner, I can't speak to whether or not he also falls into this category but it does sound like it could be close. Now that I'm nearly 30 I've been lucky enough to meet my wonderful fiancé and have a brilliant group of friends with whom we can share anything, but making new friends who don't already “know” me is… difficult. I get told that I'm blunt, or harsh, or intimidating, or a “know-it-all” and a huge amount of that comes from me not understanding social cues, it is never my intention to make anybody feel this way or to come across in a certain way, and the people I share my life with closely all know that I have good intentions so they don't see it, but that goes less for strangers.
One of my love languages is info-dumping, and I fully understand that that can be annoying but I don't realise I'm doing it at the time. There are a few subjects where because I'm so interested in them I've got a pretty hefty amount of info in my brain, and when my friends ask me questions I want them to be as informed as possible, and can talk for a while about things I enjoy. This isn't because I like the sound of my own voice, I get carried away because I want the people I love to have every bit of their question answered, and they know they can stop me at any point. With strangers, this gets perceived as me “showing off”, hence the know-it-all comments, and it sucks to be seen as that way when in my head I'm just answering someone's question to the best of my ability. Maybe if your partner is very keen on UFC his co-workers feel like he goes overboard talking about it so don't include him, when in actual fact all your partner wants to do is be involved in the conversation but tries a little too hot in doing so?
One of the other cues I struggle with is people asking for advice, because I've found that many people just want affirmation or validation, not an actual solution. My close friends all know this now and we have a system whereby if one of them comes for advice or consolation, we have an exchange of “Am I listening today or problem-solving?” So that I know how to respond. We had a friend who used to come over a lot to cry/complain about dating a string of unpleasant guys one after the other, and she told us that she kept saying yes to guys and going home with them even when they were mean to her because it was better than being alone, I told her she needed therapy to figure out why that was, and she was upset and told my fiance it was harsh. Afterwards, I realised that I could have put it better and it came across badly, and I apologised and it's all fine now, but I had to explain that I wasn't being dismissive or critical, I genuinely felt like therapy was a good way to address the issues that she was facing because they were beyond my paygrade, so to speak.
Basically, many neurodivergent people don't know how to spot all of the “rules” of social interaction that exist amongst neurotypicals. This can be fine amongst close friends who get to see all the good as well, and know exactly how you mean everything, but it can be very challenging to interact with strangers/new social groups because each one comes with social nuance to navigate. A lot of neurotypical people also don't feel like taking the time to accomodate neurodivergent people because they feel like “everyone should just know these things” which can make it especially difficult when you had an abnormal upbringing, parents who didn't know/get you tested/were in denial about potential issues, or you didn't have access to resources and care. Maybe people just need to get to know him better! Have a serious, face to face conversation with your loved ones about what their issues might be, and don't let up if they continue to be dismissive of your concerns 🙂
I’m all for splitting bills but it needs to be proportional to your income. If he earns more than he pays more. WTH should you be expected to contribute the same amount when you don’t make the same amount. My husband earns more than me so he pays more. We split 60/40
Eww she's disgusting, get as far away from her as possible
You should honestly break up, as you sound sexually extremely incompatible. Different libidos, different sorts of sex preferences/kinks… this is pretty big. It sounds like there is no type of sex both of you really enjoy at the same time – it's either you forcing yourself through BDSM or him having “boring” vanilla sex.
It's good and the bare minimum that he didn't pressure you after you said “No”, but from this example alone, it's pretty clear that a) you don't enjoy BDSM if standing on a cold tile is (understandably) already too uncomfortable/scary for you and b) he prefers no sex over sex which isn't to his liking.
Honestly, this has no future. I think you would be happier with a partner who also has the same amount of libido you have and who enjoys vanilla sex more, while he needs someone who enthusiastically stands on cold tiles for him because she's also into it. Pretty sure that both of you will have a much happier sex life with partners who are into the same things you are into.