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Date: October 10, 2022
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This. Many people have divorced parents. It’s not uncommon. And it only matters that you make your child feel loved. You do not need to be in a toxic marriage for that to happen. You are still so young. She will not change, she has no conscience. She literally drugged you in such a calculated way.
She isn't into you.
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Consider your relationship over or at best your husband won't trust you if he finds out about it. That's how serious this is… you now know what kind of person your BIL is… your husband deserves to know.
Sounds to me as if your gf is flirting with perhaps shady behavior, and is gauging your reaction and asking about your boundaries to see how far she can go without pissing you off?
I had to re-read this twice because I can't understand how all of this has happened in less than a year. My guy, at this point you're doing this to yourself. It's a gym membership, not a baby. Cut your loses, block her number and move on.
Also get a full panel STD test.
peace out, girl scout.
She didn't mention at all about the down payment so I didn't make any assumptions there. If she said explicitly all down payment would be his money, that would be a bit different.
I know how renting works, I'm saying it's a bad idea within a relationship to be a tenant and landlord. It's going to create an unhealthy power dynamic inevitably.
I think it’s pretty clear that he gives people a weird vibe but it’s not related to his character or anything you need to worry about.
The tell for me was your dad. Presumably you’ve been present for the vast majority of the interactions between your father and partner and know your partner hasn’t actually done anything that you would need to worry about that would explain your dads view.
Just accept that you’ve got a great partner, and that he’ll need some social support and thats a price of admission.
Yes, but does your husband go out of his way and message your friends about the issues they have? That is where the trust is broken, while ok, you can assume that the person is not your friend anymore, is an entity and comes in a package, the issue is the other person, that you’re not friends with starting to message you about your shit.
Why not? Well you bring up respect, but doesn’t respect towards your friend require something said in confidence to remain in confidence?
Once you message you make it clear that confidence was broken, even if it was, keep it on the low low.
You can tell your husband, hey it’s a private matter, I can’t share since it’s not mine, that’s ok.
You say see it as friendship, but you might not want that friendship, for whatever reason, which is ok…you don’t have to be friends with your friend’s spouse
I think most likely he really cares about you, but isn't ready to commit to moving to follow where you go and may never be. But he also is considerate of you enough to not ask you to give up your long range plans for him. I don't think he wants to let go of you, but is worried the putting off these conversations may just hurt more if you decide you do have to go separate ways.
There's also a possibility that he might be willing to follow you if you give him assurance that you truly love him and see a rest-of-your-lives future together.
Every couple has moments like this. For me, I turned down career opportunities out-of-state to be with my now-wife. But I eventually found a great job near my family where I grew up and she came with me. But I can't say whether choosing a life partnership with this man is right for you. Stay true to what you want most in life.