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Room for on-line sex video chat AdoniRa
Model from: us
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1993-03-04
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: October 10, 2022
I am not “rich”, but I am much better off than one side of my family. My maternal grandfather did well for himself, as did my mom, as have I. My father's side of the family has always been at or around the poverty line, on average. Some of them scrape by, some of them don't, and are more or less supported by the others. My father broke free of all of that, went to uni, was well employed, and together with my mother, they did quite well over the years.
That side of the family was constantly asking for, and often receiving support (several of my aunts and cousins have lived with us in the past, sometimes for a couple of years). When my father passed away, his side of the family more or less turned on my mother, as they somehow expected some sort of inheritance and contested the will. That's not how it works. When my mother passed, this expectation then turned to me.
These are the types of people who, when their father (my grandfather) passed away, they all received an equal portion of his estate (about $40k each, the man squirrelled away everything and his entire estate amounted to about $200k. Not a huge amount by any means, but not “nothing”). I did, too, as his will stipulated that in the event of one of his kids having passed away, that portion would be given to his grandkids. My dad had passed away, so I received his inheritance. They all hired a lawyer to contest this (and it was dismissed quickly).
I took that $40k and put a downpayment on my first home. They all blew theirs in a couple of months. One bought a car, which they eventually couldn't afford to keep running. They bought TV's and other “stuff”. Pissed it away, basically. These were people in their 40's and 50's. I was 23. My $40k inheritance has likely multiplied by 10 given that I put it into real estate 20 years ago, and I've bought and sold a few times and put some of the profits into investments.
This is primarily why, when these people came asking for things, I ignored it. I took this inheritance, which my grandfather intended for my dad and his siblings, and did something with it. They blew theirs, yet, expected help afterwards.
I have ignored it as best I can. I gave my cousin a place to live for a couple of months (which turned into 9) and it was an absolute disaster. The level of expectation that came from him was too much and he didn't even hide it. We are very middle class. So it's all relative.
My extended family were the beneficiaries of some “help” for decades while my dad was alive. They were his siblings, and he was happy to (mostly), and they all grew up in relative poverty, so he had no problem doing this. I extended the same hand to my cousin, as we were relatively close growing up, but that exploded in my face.
This kind of thing happens, and is common.
But above all, it's all completely relative. Again, I am middle class. Therefore I have “more” than that one side of my family, and the expectations are clearly there.
OP, your partner isn't even related to the people who are expecting support. I was, and I had no problem saying no. I am only in touch with one of my family members on my dad's side now, and they don't ask for anything from me – never have. Maybe they're playing the long game, I don't know, but I haven't seen any indication of that yet. I lost a cousin, who I basically grew up with, because I helped him out in a huge way, but it wasn't enough for him and he expected more. He burned those bridges, tried to come back in my life months later, and as much as it pained me, I didn't let him.
It's not about protecting my finances, it's about his expectations and not thinking I had done enough for him, and literally saying so.
tl;dr – if this starts now, it's highly likely it will continue to the next generation as well. Once you open the floodgates, as my dad did 40 years ago, the expectations are often put on the “next in line” so to speak. And from the sounds of it, your partner IS actually well off. I'm not nearly at that level, and never will be, but relative to my own family, I am.
Again, it's not about the finances so much as it is about people having this expectation that you share what you have. And in your case, it's not even your partner's family, it's yours. That's so over the line it's not funny.
Break up with him
It's probably the son and the fact that this dude is 15 years older than you. Close that age gap.
Yes you overreacted
And why did it even come up? Did he volunteer the info or did you ask him about her?
Without more info, like how often they talk/see each other now, their friendship may not be a threat to your relationship and this just makes you sound super insecure and immature.