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It could potentially be an ex projecting due to wanting revenge for being rejected. But if he had been in a relationship like that he wouldn't be so dismissive or her worries. I think there is a high likelihood of the message being correct.
I would suggest that she reads up on Cluster B personality disorders and see if anything rings true
Probably cultural thing, i live in europe, parents here don't sleep with the children until they're 14 or something.
He’s not wrong; he’s lying,
This is very helpful. Thank you so much.
You don’t seem interested in taking anyone’s advice.
Just because you two shared a kiss after knowing each other for months, she can't kiss someone else? It doesn't sound like you were dating, just happened to kiss once. It'll be okay, if that ruined you liking her move on to someone else!
Thank you, his cheating has everything to do with hun and not me. At this level of manipulation I know there was nothing I could have done to see it earlier. I was proactive in expressing my distrust after he lied to me the first time and I should have trusted myself more but I know I did nothing wrong, just should’ve trusted myself more when he lied the first time. But someone this experienced in manipulation and lying to live a double life without getting caught isnt something I could’ve seen coming.
What’s the point of establishing boundaries if you’re not gonna enforce any consequences when they’re broken?
For full clarity, It's been made clear by OP in the comments that the images got pornographic and were encouraged by (and the idea of) the photographer. Sounds less than pure, from a subjective lens.
It's not just nudity in this situation that's causing the complications.
I think he’s behaving exactly the way he said he would. He’s honest and not very good at commitment and that’s how he’s behaving. If you want more, I will either tell him and if he is still vague, I will decide whether you want to stick with it because it’s good or let it go. But you have been told.
So, without saying “love”, tell me what you get out of this marriage.
What tangible, emotional, specific benefit does being in this relationship provide? Love is not an answer here because it's vague and easy to hide behind. List specifically what you get out of this relationship. Specifically what makes your life better by being in this relationship.
This doesn't sound like a fulfilling relationship. Or a partnership.
You sound resentful and burnt out. Unhappy. I can't say I blame you. I wouldn't be happy either.
So, what do you get out of this marriage?
What does marriage mean to you? What do you want marriage to look like for you? In your current marriage, are you happy? If no, what would need to change in order for you to be happy? Can you realistically see your husband making those changes? If yes, what steps do you think need to be made to start seeing those changes? Therapy? If no, what do you plan on doing about that?
Where do you want to be in 5 years? What would your ideal life look like? What steps would you need to take to shape that future?
The best advice anyone can give you is not on how to make your husband view your family as his own. He isn't going to. You've been together for nearly 2 decades at this point. If he doesn't treat your family as his own by now, he isn't going to. Nothing you say or do is going to change that. The best advice you can get is to think reflectivity on your life as it is, and determine if you are happy. If you aren't, determine what changes need to be made so you can be happy. They may be little changes, they may be much bigger changes. But only you know what those changes need to be.